A Peaceful Business Model that Works

I've been hearing lately from many of my female friends that they wish they could be doing, or could have done what my ex and I are attempting to do.  Our relationship/business model is unique in that we get along well enough most of the time so that we can live together under the same roof and raise our kids together, and we can do that in an open, peaceful, and honest way with them.  They know that mom and dad aren't "in-love", are going through a divorce, and they're managing that information very well.  The ex and I work together closely as partners in parenting and believe me it isn't an easy task with all girls, and with so many of them.  But it's damn worth it.

Perhaps this model works because there is a general interest in hoping that those around us are happy and get their needs met.  But it's more than that, its about genuinely wishing that your partner (ex-partner) is happy and seeing that she feels the same way about you.  I can literally schedule any outing, or time that I want to go out, socialize, have dates, or go on mini-trips and know that she will take care of the kids while I do the same for her.   Recently this has become quite a scheduling exchange.  We work together to make sure that we parent first but also that we have equal time outside of the house to pursue whatever we want. It isn't always perfect but fuck, I am very happy about our arrangement.  I'm happy that we don't have to be in the closet about it either.  Kids know, parents know, grandparents know, and my friends know.

There are of course limitations to this model.  We don't own a mansion where we could have guests, or lovers, circulating in and out.  We aren't going to have any boyfriend or girlfriend come live with us.  But even if we did have such a home, I wouldn't be living that way as a parent, as a role model to my girls.  Simply put, there isn't any woman that I would introduce my girls to for a very long time.

Strangely enough, two of my kids who are 11 and 9, are asking me about dating.  They are coming to me and telling me to go out and date, to have love.  I find that remarkable because they truly want me to be happy and they know that I will always be there for them.  They know I won't leave my house no matter how fucktacular some woman might be and leave my kids to be an every other weekend type dad.  It just isn't in my DNA.  I have to see them daily, they are the love of my life.

So yes, I can date, I can fuck, I can be seeing multiple people at the same time, and I can have a variety of relationships that make life interesting and I can do it all with the help of the person that I fell in love with so long ago.  There can be peace, and this model can work.  If it were a business model I think more people would be buying.

Have a great weekend everyone

Dimitri - The Stud

MUST LISTEN: The Reason Some Girls Stay Single. 

*Update - A reader (Kimmy) was nice enough to leave a comment that this is all just a joke, a fake promotional tool.  It is however still hilarious to me, and if this is going to be a movie, I will be there opening night.  This kind of stuff cracks me up.  

Hot Bloggers Inspire Something in Me

The other day I'm on email and I see that a good friend, a hot blogstress is on-line, and her Gmail IM status says "to shower, or not to shower". Hmmm. So I'm thinking well, few things are sexier than imagining a hot woman, taking a shower. Ok, well it's at least up there on the list in terms of sexy places for women to be. I admit, there are times when I would watch a woman taking a shower and just get frazzled at the site of that body with the steam and the soap.  In most cases I was always ready to throw my clothes off and jump in with her, but I figured that logistically because I was sitting in a tree with binoculars that it would be hard to gain entry into the bathroom. (j/k for you serious types)

Anyhow I encouraged her to take a shower and the following conversation occured. She then encouraged me to post it and so here it goes:

Me: Shower now and let me be the water . . . cascading from the shower head down your hair, and onto your neck. Let me go ever so slowly down your breasts and just over your nipples. I want to touch every inch of your tummy and then down farther toward your hotness, your warmness, your sex, and ultimately down your legs. Let me slip down the drain undetected by your other lovers . . . now you are clean.

Her: Damn, a shower suddenly sounds like a good idea..... phewwwww - damn, I am already in the ultra horny part of my month... *squeezing legs togehter.

Me: Take a shower for me . . .  dedicate it to me!! I swear I'll give you everything I got. Let the hot water run forever while I kiss you passionately and soak up your sexiness, your vibe. I will kiss you everywhere, and I mean everywhere.  Now . . . use your arms and hold yourself, prop yourself against the shower wall, because I really want to explore you.  Damn its getting hot in this shower . . . While I can't be there with you, my body is willing and wanting . . .


Her: shit damn fuck   Breath faster as is my heart.


Me: If you have a handle, or something to grip while we shower together . . . grab it. . . . hold it tight. and bend over just ever so slightly because I want to taste you, and I love the way you taste in the shower.  You're so clean and yet so wet . . . .  Can you feel how hard I am . . . shit! damn! fuck!!   Yes, I'm that hard, and now I am about to take this clean shower experience to a very dirty level.  Are you ready?   Spread your legs just a little,  let me play with you and let me slowly slide my cock into your beautiful pussy. . . . That feels so good - you feel so good!    Hold on tight, I'm gonna grab your wet hair just a little, but maybe a lot.


Her: I am in the need of a shower - now more then ever!!!!  But with it being this late in the day I was pondering if I should just wait till tomorrow - but I fear now I can't  I will have to shower and touch myself and think of what you just described.


Me: Please touch yourself, please  . . . . I can't stand to think that you wouldn't after this little tryst we just had


Her: Off to shower -thank god my new toy is waterproof.  what you just said will be my inspiration.  An O will form on my lips and then I will giggle.  Off to "hand"le things  ;)


Me: Yummy, that's so hot to think of you like that, or this way . . .


20 minutes later . . . 


Her: It was that hot.  ohhhh and totally worked in no time flat - wowzers!


Me:  Glad to get your firing burning even while you're in the shower


My point in sharing this story is that you never know where it can go when you leave your status on IM like that.  A dirty mind can go in a lot of different directions with just barely enough material to warrant a moment like this.  Thank you hot blogstress and thank you to all the others that provide me with little moments like this throughout the day.  Way more fun then a guy should be allowed.  


Let me tell you who's on my mind: Gypsy Rose, SouthernGirl, Lilly, Kimberly, Emmy, Barefoot Dreamer, Mina, Green Eyed Frenchy, Ella, Petal, Ms. Scarlett, Jae, Ms. Undecided, Sexie Sadie, Sweet Elle, Athena, Grace, Just a Curious Wife, Topaz, LifeChick, April, WGD, Kyra, W Virginia W, Black Pearl, Mina, Eva, Gray, T, and Monique Danger.


Not all could be listed, and I'm sure I left someone out by accident, but those of you that have peaked my interest through emails, IM, and or comments are here. Thank you ladies . . . you are hot as fuck!!

Depeche Mode - Free Love

If you've been hiding from love
If you've been hiding from love
I can understand where you're coming from
I can understand where you're coming from

If you've suffered enough
If you've suffered enough
I can understand what you're thinking of
I can see the pain that you're frightened of

And I'm only here
To bring you free love
Let's make it clear
That this is free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love

I've been running like you
I've been running like you
Now you understand why I'm running scared
Now you understand why I'm running scared

I've been searching for truth
I've been searching for truth
And I haven't been getting anywhere
No I haven't been getting anywhere

And I'm only here
To bring you free love

Do You Trust Me?

This occurred exactly one week ago today


You are to show up this exact address at this precise time.  Park your car, get out, lock it and walk over to my car.  No, we won't be eating anything on this date, and I cannot provide you with more details than that.  You need to wear a skirt though.  That's all I can tell you . . .

She shows up and has followed my plan exactly as I asked.  As she approaches me, she's cautious, yet happy to see me.  I don't exchange the normal pleasantries nor do I talk to her.  I have a blindfold and I place it over her eyes outside of our vehicles before I place her in my car and drive off with her.  As I look over at her for a moment I feel very in charge, more in charge of a situation, of a woman than ever before.  She seems like a possession to me, as if I own her and can demand anything and everything that I want.  This is new for Dewey and he likes feeling empowered this way.

We drive into a garage and I close the garage door.  I help her out and into the living room where she steadies herself against a counter and waits for me.  I return with a bottle of red wine and in the silence of the room remove the cork.  It's dead silent, and the room is mostly dark.  For her though it is completely dark requiring the use of her other senses to navigate this new territory, this situation.  I pour the bottle slowly as it chugs into the wine glass, and I help her guide the glass to her lips.  We share a sip and then I quietly whisper these words:  Do you trust me?  I knew she did, I knew the answer but I needed to hear it from her before I proceeded.

I get behind her and take her hands behind her back.  A comfortable rope is used to tie her hands behind her back.  She's standing now with her back to me wearing a skirt, tall dark boots, a blouse, blindfolded and tied up.  God, what a beautiful scene that was.  I get on my knees and begin to caress her legs, her calves and her thighs.  I slowly carefully navigate my way around her body exploring and feeling every curve every inch.  My hands gliding over every inch, softly teasing, softly squeezing, but mostly adoring this beautiful creature.

I pull her hair back and kiss her behind the ears. I move across her face and begin to pick up the tempo.  I tease her with my mouth, my hot breath leading her to believe that I will kiss her on the mouth but not ever giving it to her.  My hands firmly squeeze her breasts and my momentum is shifting toward a higher speed, getting her hot and bothered.  She lets out soft moans and groans as I slide my hands over her panties.  I stand behind her, and move her panties to the side and play with her.  Stroking her pussy and feeling her clit.  She's already wet and there's plenty of lube to apply a little bit of pressure to her clit.  She gasps for air and lets out a long loud moan.  I go faster and slide my other hand underneath her bra feeling her nipples and squeezing them.

The panties must come off, and I am happy to bring them down to where her boots are, just below her knees.  I bend her over just so slightly so she can stay balanced but giving me just enough space to push my face into her cunt.  Fuck she's so sweet!  I love her taste.  I lick it and use my fingers inside of her, playing with my fuck-toy and enjoying every bit of control over her.  The blouse must now come off.  Done!   Her bra pulled down exposing her full breasts for my pleasure.  I suckle them, lick them and suck her nipples with no restraint.  When she tries to reach for my cock with her tied up hands, I deny her request by moving away, and not giving it to her.  'No.  When I 'm ready you can have it, but not until then.'

We move into a bedroom, me guiding my tied up slave to her next destination and laying her on the bed, on her stomach.  I prop her feet on the floor and continue to toy her pussy with my finger fucking her ferociously and without limits.  I use my other hand to massage her clit and she can barely take it.   She screams and moans and I know that she has just cum.  In nearly 10 seconds, and with one hand I remove my pants, put on a condom, and penetrate her with my hardness.  This is a hard fuck.  Fast and furious.

When I finish we lay down together.  I remove her mask and we begin exchanging our first pleasantries of the date, softly talking, softly kissing, and relishing in the aftermath of what just happened.  We kiss more and more, we touch each other, play with each other some more, and soak up the momentary bliss of two people sexually charged and devouring one another.  Our two hour window was about up and she departed with some very kind words, "thank you for reminding me of how good this can feel."  And yet somehow I wanted to be the one to thank her, to thank her for trusting me.

Unfinished Business

With a nearly a month of not posting you'd think that I'd have some incredible stories to share wouldn't you?  You might even think that perhaps, with the way the world turns, and with its various seasons that maybe, just maybe Dewey got some.  Maybe it turned in his favor?  And you know what?  You'd be correct, but it's more than just about getting some, it's about one thing, and one thing only . . . . Facebook!  Yes people the Facebook Gods have answered and the doors have opened. And behind doors 1,2,3, and 4 have been some amazing women, and some great tales of tail.  I got some!  I got lots, and the getting apparently has no ending.

How did this all happen?  I'm not quite sure what the catalyst was . . . but it probably had to be with my getting a divorce.  Maybe, but maybe not.  Maybe its my charm, my energy, my smile, and quite possibly my writing skills.  No?  Not the writing you say.  Yea, ok, well I tried, but I do think that being vocal about my divorce through personal messaging got some women to take a second look at me, to give me chance.  It's certainly possible.  I am enjoying my fun with all of these women.  They all share something in common in that they all tell me that they adore me. Nice huh?  I like being adored, and being appreciated.  You could say that I'm quite liking this newly defined moment in my life: divorced, single, and having more fun than ever.

Before you think I'm a horrible man-whore (you'd be right of course), these women all know that I am seeing other people.  That's the beauty of my place right now.  I don't have to lie about who and I am what I'm doing, and the no-secrets part of it is a load off my chest.  They know I don't want a relationship.  I'm living my life in my 30's and living what should have been fun in my 20's since I missed that whole decade.  Yea, I have responsibilities now, so it's not like I can be 20 again, and I love those responsibilities, so I can't get too crazy, but I'll take a 1/2 portion of crazy if that's ok?  I'll split the other half of crazy with the woman who's willing to put up with all my "red-flags" and relationship walls that I've built.  You've got to be somewhat crazy not to see my hundreds upon hundreds of red-flags.

So while I have some great stories involving hot New Years Eve sex, office sex, more office sex, and even a really good story involving a blind-fold with a car-drive ultimately ending up with her tied up on a bed and me exploring my dominating side (phew that was long), I want to share the most heart-warming of them all.  Call her Sabrina.

Sabrina was my first.   She's a beautiful fun girl, six feet tall and when she left to do modeling in Italy our relationship ended.  Short-lived but fun.  20 years ago in her bedroom my cock felt the inside of a vagina when she allowed me to go where I had never gone before.  Mind you, I was a good little boy, and didn't thrust my hips back in forth.  I didn't slide in-n-out.  I just felt it.  It's kind of like Clinton smoking marijuana but not inhaling, although he claimed not to like it.  Me, well I fucking loved it, the feel of her warm pussy enveloping my cock that is.  I thought I could still call myself a virgin since I technically didn't cum, nor did I thrust, and being a virgin was the only way to go in my shame based culture I was living in.

Fast forward to 20 years later, and our re-connection came to life because of Facebook.  We talked for weeks about life, her life, her marriage, her kids, and I did the same.  Then in late December she upped the ante.  She sent pictures of herself (the ones not posted on Facebook) and started talking about her total lack of a sex-life.  Me, I don't know a thing about consoling a desperate married woman who wants to get a hard pounding fuck.  What me?  How could I help her?  ehhem . . . yea, I know a thing or two about the dangers of monogamy and equally about the dangers of infidelity.  I said I would participate, but not at the cost of hurting, or possibly hurting her children.  'I'd see you if I knew you couldn't/wouldn't get caught'.  That's what I said.  We talked through all of the possibilities that our relationship could be.  We could have fun, and certainly we both believe that there is unfinished business. I dipped my fruit in her chocolate, but never really tasted it.

So two weeks ago we met.  I was nervous.  Fidgety nervous.   Would there be chemistry 20 years later?  We were kids then.  We met at a winery.  It was noon, and it was a gorgeous day.  With a blanket, a picnic basket and a bottle of cab we found a secluded spot.  The whole damn place was empty so it was easy.  And then for two hours we modestly kissed, and touched each other. It was sweet, and romantic, and we both loved it.  We loved our little two hour escapade.  Soft kisses on her back, on her tummy, and the back of her neck.  Simple kisses and suddenly hard deep passionate kissses.  Light touching would turn into heavy groping and massaging.  She lifted my shirt up and licked my nipples while holding on to my thigh.  She then grabbed my cock over my jeans while kissing me intensely.  Whooaaaa.  It was hot.  We went for a walk to cool down and made it about 4 steps, where I  pinned her body against a gazebo.  Hot!!  Fucking hot and heavy.  She groaned as I slid my hand down her jeans and into her wetness.  I knew she was wet before I put my hand there. I could smell her sex, and I was digging it. I was digging this beautiful landscape of trees, a pond, and vineyards everywhere, but most importantly her.

We had to stop.  She had to get back to her home and I had another adventure set up for that evening.  We decided immediately that we needed to see each other again, that we needed to get down to that un-finished business from so long ago.  That will be about a month from now.  The anticipation is already killing me.

Thank you Facebook Gods, you answered my prayers . . .

Bring it on Bitches!

Yesterday was fantastic.  I had a great sleep and woke up feeling like life was falling into the right places.  I got dressed, wearing a professional suit for work, with my hair and skin looking fabulous.  I had some fucking confidence and felt like a million bucks.  It's been a while since I've felt like that, and its good to be back.  I was sick with step throat this past weekend.  Tonight I will need that confidence and charisma/charm as I head into a lions den of successful single women who I will be mingling with and flirting with at a black-tie Holiday Gala, and I'm ready.  Bring it on bitches!

Most importantly, my kids have heard the news about mom and dad getting a divorce and they are doing very well with that news.  We took an hour this past week to discuss it with them and get feelings out on the table.  She and I talked to each of them together and it was something we had planned out about as well as we possibly could.  It went better than I thought it would.  Sure, there were some tears, some shocks, and  a lot of questions, but the kids know that nothing is changing in our home.  I'm not moving out, and no one else is moving in.  Things are staying the same, but for now, I feel better that they are in the know about mom and dad not being "in love" anymore.  I expect that the kids will be taking time to absorb it all and may have some concerns down the road.

When we finished talking to them we took them out to dinner and had a nice family meal.

Next it will be our parents and families.  That might not go over so smoothly.  We'll see.

I have been terrible at commenting to all of  you on your posts and thanking you for your comments.  For that I am really sorry.  I hope things will back to a normal pace soon.

Down But Not Out

Dear loyal readers and friends,

I am experiencing cerebral fall-out at the moment and have very little to contribute to my own posts and unfortunately have little to nothing to say in terms of commenting on your fine posts.  I guess you could say that I'm in a funk, and that I'm down but not out.  Just taking a breather from this outlet.

I love you all my fine blogstresses and I think about you daily.

I'll be back soon and hopefully to report on the progression my family is making toward more disclosure of our situation.

We're planning on talking to the kids about our pending divorce this week and that is going to be a huge change in their lives, although in reality, nothing is going to change within the home.  'Mom and dad will be getting a divorce, but we are living together in this home to raise you guys. We love you with all our hearts.'  That's going to be the theme for our discussions with them. It will remain to be seen how they take it.  I really can't say until we talk to them.

Then it will be off to my parents house to explain things to them.  I think I'll be a little more relieved when the secret is out and  I know I'll feel better about wife's parents knowing since I'm a lot more connected to them then my own parents.  At least they can stop referring to us as a couple, a normal happy, in-love couple.  The wife and I are friends but more like team members now, co-captains of this team, and we have to work together to raise our kids.  That's what we're focusing on now.

Peace and Love
Dewey
XXX-O

Listen Up Universe

I've been going through a long dry spell lately. Yes, it's been dry as a bone without even a hint of rain. How long has it been since I've had really good sex, or been with a woman that I was really attracted to? How long? It's been a while, and I'd rather not count the months for you. The desert picture can paint a better picture for you than I can express in words

Instead of focusing on what I don't have and what my body aches for, let me focus on what I do want, my vision.  Universe, are you listening?  Pay attention because this is my open letter to you and alternatively my adult letter to Santa Claus:

I see her.  She makes me giddy.  I'm imagining her and the taste of her body. How magnificent those lips are and how delicious her tongue is. I love her hair and she has a wonderful smile. She makes me laugh. She's beautiful. She's what I've been waiting for.

Let it rain universe. Let it pour.
Sincerely,
Dewey

thank you southerngirl for the musical adaption of this post.   She has a unique gift for adapting music to words, and feelings.  You'd better go look at my favorite post of hers to see what I mean.

Listen Up Women

Recently I wrote a post that linked to a Craigslist ad called 'Observations on Sex from a Single Woman'. It doesn't really matter that she was single or married as I thought the observations were great insights on how to better yourself when it comes to bedding a female. I'd like to think of it as most of the good stuff that you never learned in sex-education or from your big brother. And certainly not all the ideas are applicable to every woman. That's why we have a thing called variety and everyone can have their own preferences. Yes, what a great fucking country we live in. You can choose what works well for you, and if anal sex isn't one of them then guys, don't surprise her with trying to slip it in the backdoor because she won't like it. Of course right? Common knowledge.

In the spirit of observing sex with the opposite sex I have opined my own tips for you ladies and while I don't speak for all men, I do speak for Dewey and I've got a few things to say. I've also enlisted the help of fellow male blogger Hubman to add something more to this post. He gave three pointers. The first contribution is from Hubman followed by me, Dewey.

Hubman Says:

We really do love lingerie, but don't go crazy, since it's just going to end up tossed on the floor. All you really need is a matching bra and thong, maybe a camisole instead. Don't bother with much else, okay?

Yes, sometimes I'll lose my hard-on when we're fucking, especially if a condom is involved. It happens and I'm perfectly capable of working past it. But please, DON'T take it personally, it's not because I don't think you're attractive. If I didn't, I wouldn't be fucking you in the first place.

You're curious about trying something new, pushing your boundaries a little, exploring a little kink? Don't be afraid to suggest something, if we haven't already suggested it ourselves! Chances are pretty good that we'll say yes.

Dewey's Basic Training:

When we're in the bedroom together and we start to kiss, my senses are running wild. I want to look at you, to taste you, and to smell you. Smell sets the tone. From a clean mouth to all the other areas it matters a lot. I once had a woman in my hotel room who reeked from b.o. It was a deal breaker. Bad breath is the same thing. Gum or listerine packs are the best.

The most important smell that sets the tone for our time together is a fresh vagina. I can't tell you how many times I've been with a woman who simply didn't wash up before play time. It can be so unpleasant that it overtakes the whole experience.

One woman used essential oils after washing up and I'm telling you that was the best pussy ever.

De-forestation is OK when it comes to your bush. I like trimmed, shaved or waxed, but come at me with a full bush and I'm likely to run away screaming.

The most sexiest attribute I have found about a women is when they are comfortable with their body. I'm not saying you have to love it, and be cocky about it, I'm just saying that when you think of yourself as a sexy woman, with a lot to offer and you don't think about or talk about your insecurities (and trust me, we all have them) I have found that to be so damn irresistible.

A woman who is confident with herself, or at least portrays confidence is my biggest turn on.

How do you turn me off? Being too needy outside of the bedroom. There's a fine line between having your needs met and going overboard with them. A woman voicing her needs , and getting all those needs met becomes hard for me, like a burden. A woman saying, " I need to know that you were satisfied with that sex, or with my body" turns me off. I married needy. I know needy, I know all about a women who is has no self-confidence and hates her body in spite of that body being a "10". I lived with that. It isn't sexy. It's kind of like the too much drama thing.

If in the act of sex you have needs that aren't being met please, by all means, tell me. I'm doing my best to read your body and please you but sometimes I'm not getting any clues or signals and I can't read your mind.

Let's say for a moment that you don't have a perfect body. Even if you're not a "10" imagine that you are. Believe it. I've had a few partners, who were good at this, who didn't need to be told how great they were, or never worried about me coming back for more. I found that sexy and it made me want to go back for more.

Don't ask me "does my butt look good". Never doubt that you have a fine ass. Love your ass, love your body. The more you love it, the more I will love it too.

If we're in bed together naked and having sex, and I want to explore all of you, please don't tell me that some areas are off limits. I've been told many times that I couldn't touch in places because those places were reserved for men who had made some special mental (emotional) connection with you. I like to earn my rewards but withholding areas of your body from me because we're not dating or exclusive just doesn't make sense. Play with me, or don't play at all.

Us men are not hard to please. Stroke our egos occassionally but not too much. Tell us that we're appreciated and give us hugs occasionally. Tease us, kiss us, and you'll have us wrapped around your perfect body in no time.

Afterthought: I love the female body. When it comes to sex and pleasing women, I try to use both heads correctly although God gave me only enough blood for one to function at a time.

What would sex advice to women be without a comment from the Riff Dog. Ladies, can you guess what his single piece of advice is?

"No teeth during blowjobs". Yea, I can't disagree with that.

Ladies and gentlemen I invite you to leave a comment that would add to this post. I spoke personally and I'm sure there are many things I missed.

Listen Up Men!

When I first started reading blogs, I think it was Riff's that I saw first, then I found Ms. Inconspicuous. Their posts, along with others, are where I started getting some much needed knowledge, or ideas. The timing couldn't have been better because I needed to reinvent myself sexually, to evolve as a man, as a lover. Was I getting boring? Perhaps, but becoming more confident and taking charge in the bedroom was something that I was not good at. I'll admit it. Reading some great posts was a window into a whole new world that began with adventures like this one for me.

In the spirit of evolving sexually and finding oneself I came across this post on the best of Craigslist. You may agree with some of it and not with others, but I post this for all the men out there, like myself, who are willing, wanting to improve their game, their love life, or simply their fuckability. Men, we have a duty to lend each other tips, advice, and I am doing that today:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/1363379397.html

Observations on sex from a woman

Just for giggles:

Warning Signs - Top 10

Two warnings off the bat. A) This post is a little bit longer than normal, and B) this post starts off with a negative tone but life is good so don't worry about me. :-) Surely everyone can relate to some of this stuff.

Signs that your spouse isn't that into you anymore:

1. When you try to give her a kiss she ever so slightly moves her lips away and gives you something closer to her cheek.
2. When you ask her to have sex she expects you to be hard, at full attention without having given you any stimulus to get that way. Translation = seduce yourself.
3. When you're not rock hard come sexy time, she's not happy with you. Foreplay is long gone. Daily affection has whithered away. "Hey if you want a hug, you have to ask me for one. I don't know when you want one."
4. She'd rather give you a hand-job than let you pound her, and not just occasionally but most of the time.
5. She'd rather make out with the "local" boy at the bar then fuck the shit out of you on a vacation to Baja Mexico when that trip was really supposed to be about the two of you "re-connecting".
6. She's more into women than you. Although that started off as something really kinky.
7. Sex is not fun anymore. There's no smiles, there's nothing happy about it. It appears to be more of a duty than a wild, reckless, passionate romp.
8. When you notice that she's giving you a blow job but really thinking about something else and wondering when you're gonna get through with it.
9. When she has no idea how sex, within a committed monogamous relationship was a means for how I connected with her. Like no comprehension.
10. When it's your b-day and you look over at her and talk about b-day sex and she says "yes, I'd like to have that, I'd like to do that for you, but first we need to talk, we need to connect more emotionally before I can do that. I can't have sex when we're not emotionally connected." So we talk for an hour, it's getting late, I'm late for work, and after going through that exercise with her, still no b-day sex. So yea #10 = no b-day sex.

#10 Reminds me of the largest circular problem in my marriage when we were still together. That problem was that she needed me to be "connected" to her, to her needs, to her world, for her to want to have sex with me. I needed her to have sex with me so that I could be connected to her, and want to listen to her. After sex I loved this woman even more than ever. The act itself made me feel more bonded with her. Visualize that circular diagram. We went round and round and usually ended up nowhere, meaning I could only give so much to maintain that emotional thing she needed and it usually wasn't enough for her to want to have sex.

Ironically as soon as our marriage opened up she could/would start having sex with guys to which she had very little attachment to. I asked her to explain that and the bullshit answer isn't even worth sharing here.

Please understand that I am not bitter anymore. I don't hate this woman. I can even look at her in the arms of another man and think good thoughts about her (this happened yesterday). Our relationship physically had just expired like some bad milk. Perhaps I am fully comfortable with her in another mans arms because I am free from all of those above things that haunted me, or maybe because I know that he now must deal with the drama and the personality that I have come to disengage with over the past two years. I am free from having to try to maintain that intense emotional connection she needed, free from having to wonder if we will ever have good sex again because we won't. I swear there were times where she simply needed a girlfriend and used me as a substitute. I am a good listener, but fuck there has to be a payoff in the end and when that payoff, which included sex, started to whither away, I realized that this was no longer a warning sign, it was the end.

Would I ever get married again? No way. I think the ideal relationship/lover is someone who you see two or three times a week, spending as much as 24 hours or even 48 hours together, or as little as 30 minutes, going back to your separate worlds but still keeping a good loving connection between the two of you when you're not seeing each other. Hell, I can't even imagine wanting to live with a woman right now. What I dream about is something simple, something like sitting on a back porch sharing the moonlight, holding hands, drinking a glass of wine, making out, and fucking till midnight. Yes, a little romance, yes, a lot of fucking, but at the end of the day, one of us goes back home.

Oh, and I'll never ever share a bathroom with my lover. Never. I think that kills things too. And please don't share things with me that happened in the bathroom. Wifey always loved to do that, and it's disgusting. I never wanted to hear about your bowel problems or triumphs.

* Btw, the link I shared for Cabo Surf Hotel is where we stayed and in spite of the issues we had at that time, that place was the best surfing I ever experienced. If the right woman comes along, I'll take her and fuck the shit out of her there. I need a re-do. Any volunteers?

HNT: Mirror Image

I looked in the mirror Saturday night as I was applying all kinds of fake blood to my face and getting ready for a good old fashioned Halloween party when suddenly I thought to myself, perhaps this is an image worthy of HNT. So here you go all you hot-sex-blogging-adulterating bitches, a mirror image of Dewey.



Go to the other site for more fun and games.

Valentine's Day

I hate romantic comedies. Life is never like a romantic comedy and when these types of movies are over I'm usually left sitting there thinking:
A) What's wrong with my life and why do I feel a little less better after watching this.
B) This movie was total bull-shit with the sex scenes like that and the woman getting her heel stuck in the street never happens ever. This fucking shit is unrealistic.
C) I would rather watch a drama that is more about the real life things that I think about and experience.

Then I saw this trailer and to be honest I can't decide if it's going to be any of the above. It plays a little to that "being alone on Valentine's Day" stigma that I think is even more bull-shit. It might be none of the above. We'll have to see. But perhaps you ladies will enjoy seeing this movie with all the eye candy:
Bradley Cooper - Patrick Dempsey - Jamie Foxx - Ashton Kutcher - Eric Dane

And guys there are a few hot girls in this one too.

HNT: Lucky

Sometimes I complain about all my problems but, when I look around and think about how great life is, I have to admit that I really am lucky. Some of my friends have traveled outside of this country and are adamant that we've got it pretty good here.