Listen Up Women

Recently I wrote a post that linked to a Craigslist ad called 'Observations on Sex from a Single Woman'. It doesn't really matter that she was single or married as I thought the observations were great insights on how to better yourself when it comes to bedding a female. I'd like to think of it as most of the good stuff that you never learned in sex-education or from your big brother. And certainly not all the ideas are applicable to every woman. That's why we have a thing called variety and everyone can have their own preferences. Yes, what a great fucking country we live in. You can choose what works well for you, and if anal sex isn't one of them then guys, don't surprise her with trying to slip it in the backdoor because she won't like it. Of course right? Common knowledge.

In the spirit of observing sex with the opposite sex I have opined my own tips for you ladies and while I don't speak for all men, I do speak for Dewey and I've got a few things to say. I've also enlisted the help of fellow male blogger Hubman to add something more to this post. He gave three pointers. The first contribution is from Hubman followed by me, Dewey.

Hubman Says:

We really do love lingerie, but don't go crazy, since it's just going to end up tossed on the floor. All you really need is a matching bra and thong, maybe a camisole instead. Don't bother with much else, okay?

Yes, sometimes I'll lose my hard-on when we're fucking, especially if a condom is involved. It happens and I'm perfectly capable of working past it. But please, DON'T take it personally, it's not because I don't think you're attractive. If I didn't, I wouldn't be fucking you in the first place.

You're curious about trying something new, pushing your boundaries a little, exploring a little kink? Don't be afraid to suggest something, if we haven't already suggested it ourselves! Chances are pretty good that we'll say yes.

Dewey's Basic Training:

When we're in the bedroom together and we start to kiss, my senses are running wild. I want to look at you, to taste you, and to smell you. Smell sets the tone. From a clean mouth to all the other areas it matters a lot. I once had a woman in my hotel room who reeked from b.o. It was a deal breaker. Bad breath is the same thing. Gum or listerine packs are the best.

The most important smell that sets the tone for our time together is a fresh vagina. I can't tell you how many times I've been with a woman who simply didn't wash up before play time. It can be so unpleasant that it overtakes the whole experience.

One woman used essential oils after washing up and I'm telling you that was the best pussy ever.

De-forestation is OK when it comes to your bush. I like trimmed, shaved or waxed, but come at me with a full bush and I'm likely to run away screaming.

The most sexiest attribute I have found about a women is when they are comfortable with their body. I'm not saying you have to love it, and be cocky about it, I'm just saying that when you think of yourself as a sexy woman, with a lot to offer and you don't think about or talk about your insecurities (and trust me, we all have them) I have found that to be so damn irresistible.

A woman who is confident with herself, or at least portrays confidence is my biggest turn on.

How do you turn me off? Being too needy outside of the bedroom. There's a fine line between having your needs met and going overboard with them. A woman voicing her needs , and getting all those needs met becomes hard for me, like a burden. A woman saying, " I need to know that you were satisfied with that sex, or with my body" turns me off. I married needy. I know needy, I know all about a women who is has no self-confidence and hates her body in spite of that body being a "10". I lived with that. It isn't sexy. It's kind of like the too much drama thing.

If in the act of sex you have needs that aren't being met please, by all means, tell me. I'm doing my best to read your body and please you but sometimes I'm not getting any clues or signals and I can't read your mind.

Let's say for a moment that you don't have a perfect body. Even if you're not a "10" imagine that you are. Believe it. I've had a few partners, who were good at this, who didn't need to be told how great they were, or never worried about me coming back for more. I found that sexy and it made me want to go back for more.

Don't ask me "does my butt look good". Never doubt that you have a fine ass. Love your ass, love your body. The more you love it, the more I will love it too.

If we're in bed together naked and having sex, and I want to explore all of you, please don't tell me that some areas are off limits. I've been told many times that I couldn't touch in places because those places were reserved for men who had made some special mental (emotional) connection with you. I like to earn my rewards but withholding areas of your body from me because we're not dating or exclusive just doesn't make sense. Play with me, or don't play at all.

Us men are not hard to please. Stroke our egos occassionally but not too much. Tell us that we're appreciated and give us hugs occasionally. Tease us, kiss us, and you'll have us wrapped around your perfect body in no time.

Afterthought: I love the female body. When it comes to sex and pleasing women, I try to use both heads correctly although God gave me only enough blood for one to function at a time.

What would sex advice to women be without a comment from the Riff Dog. Ladies, can you guess what his single piece of advice is?

"No teeth during blowjobs". Yea, I can't disagree with that.

Ladies and gentlemen I invite you to leave a comment that would add to this post. I spoke personally and I'm sure there are many things I missed.