tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62220014635727778422024-03-21T08:50:13.381-07:00Deweys F*cking SystemDewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.comBlogger89125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-45780066049794878522012-12-20T22:17:00.000-08:002012-12-20T22:57:39.897-08:00How You Doin? (Joey accent)It's been two years since I've been back to this old place.... the blog. I never thought I would return here, again. I'd met that perfect woman, the one that would change it all for me. And she did. I didn't want to keep up my online blog while we were dating. I just didn't care any more. I had found the one... but here I am now. Single again. Life did not turn out like I thought it would and I'm OK with that. I'm OK. I miss many of the old friendships that I had found by having the blog, but those people are still friends to me. Never forgotten. You know who you are. Holla!<br />
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We broke up about 6 weeks ago. When we broke up we realized that our friendship was really special. It was something we didn't want to lose. And so what followed was about a 4 week stretch of seeing each other almost every day and our friendship grew even though our time as a couple was over. Done. We're still friends, not the kind with benefits and I'm happy in spite of all of it.<br />
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So here I am. Hey there...how are you? How you doin? I'm suddenly single again and wondering what's in store for me in the next chapter of my life. <br />
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Hey....Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-91546575037906424902010-12-22T14:18:00.000-08:002010-12-22T14:21:07.691-08:00No Translation NecessaryThe time was confirmed earlier in the morning. I would arrive at her place around noon. I was at a "dentist" appt. and work wouldn't really miss me. Her front door was cracked. I quietly inched my way inside, trying not to make my presence known. She was going to get a surprise. Once inside her home, I closed the door behind me and undressed myself. Completely. I then took a bottle opener and opened a beer. Naked and holding a beer that I used to cover my penis I walked to her office where she was working alone. She fell out of her chair and yelled loudly. It was a cheerful surprise and she embraces me. She's laughing and enjoying the surprise. <br />
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We took light sips of the beer and I got on my knees while she stood in the doorway. Her tight little pants and her cute panties were instantly off when I didn't hesitate to pull them down. My tongue squarely in her pussy, her box, and she gasped. What did I love most about this moment? Well, what's not to love? But...for many years, I had to "warm-up" a certain someone before I could go pussy-diving with my tongue. Not this woman. My tongue is warming her up and her clit is becoming swollen in a matter of seconds. That's my kind of woman. She's warmed up just knowing that I'm coming over. <br />
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She lets me eat her without stopping me, without any conditions. She tastes fantastic. She let's me bring her to orgasm several times in an hour. She fucks me and knows exactly how to make me hard again after I've cum. We fuck some more. She uses just a little bit of her teeth when my cock is in her mouth and I love it. She bites my lip when we kiss. It bleeds a little, and I love it. A little swallow of beer and I forget about it. <br />
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She's wild. She let's me do whatever I want to her. I let her do the same and somehow I feel like she speaks my sexual language. She speaks it fluently.Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-16367187669814955112010-11-05T09:47:00.000-07:002010-11-05T09:47:25.707-07:00Royal TreatmentIt was our first official date and we were playing pool together in this dive bar where the music was perfect and the beer was delicious. There wasn't a rush with this woman. I felt relaxed. 'She likes you Dewey, don't go messing it up, just hang out, be cool, and beat her in this game'. "8 ball, corner pocket," I say as I carefully and strategically hit the ball hard and win the game. She says, "wow, that was hot", and follows it up with a kiss. Our date hasn't been more than 30 minutes and SHE'S kissing ME! Nice. I've got no complaints. <br />
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We leave the dive bar and head out to a nicer wine bar where we can listen to some live music. She's know the band, knows the members, and knows the words to each song. She also knows how to drag me out of my comfort zone and on to the dance floor. Sweaty, hot, fun, and so much more. I'm digging her blonde hair and blue eyes. She's attractive... very attractive.<br />
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We settle down a bit and move ourselves to a secluded area in the back of the bar where we sit together on a love seat and begin kissing each other. It's light at first, but like a heavy thunderstorm it moves fast and furious. Only a few spectators can see, but she doesn't care. She's straddling me now and our tongues are like a fiery whip cracking loudly. It's hot! Fuck it's hot. I'd have to say that for our first date things are going pretty well. My hand is groping her ass and her fingers are locked in my hair. <br />
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We stand up and walk around some more. Trying to catch our breathe and trying to keep some composure. 'Maintain' I say to myself. 'Maintain'. Somewhere during that internal conversation I'm holding her hand and I walk her toward an empty back-room in the bar. Lock the door behind us. Lights are low and I push her up against the wall, wasting no time in forcing a passionate kiss on her. Hands going crazy, feeling her flesh and eating it up. She turns me around, and pushes me against the wall. Bending her knees slightly she unbuckles my pants and takes my zipper down. Choking my cock with her hand she stands back up tall to kiss me again. My cock in her hand and my tongue in her mouth... again, I've got no complaints. <br />
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Kneeling on the ground now she takes me in her mouth. She's sucking me and blowing me and it feels fantastic. It's fan-fucking-tastic. She uses her teeth just slightly and I love it. Squeezing my balls with just the right amount of pressure she drives me insane. Cock and balls are getting the royal treatment. ROYAL!<br />
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As much as I love royal....as much I love this treatment I want to taste her. It's her turn now. I unzip and unbuckle her. Pants on the ground. I can't wait for this.Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-4161448949707867622010-09-22T22:16:00.000-07:002010-09-22T22:16:42.312-07:00Show Me Some Skin<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE8Oj23DQjPnvO8sMdEMC5VbDQGbdeqlbjB3mXLDZMzNBNLEkNylEYOZV9f_4LuSzrI67OwMZjnNIQp27KgwlmYXU3EYa3UbZbR1YJPIxFIi-sO1AM224eSEAFD8SjV1PeM0TS4GExtnoG/s1600/006.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhE8Oj23DQjPnvO8sMdEMC5VbDQGbdeqlbjB3mXLDZMzNBNLEkNylEYOZV9f_4LuSzrI67OwMZjnNIQp27KgwlmYXU3EYa3UbZbR1YJPIxFIi-sO1AM224eSEAFD8SjV1PeM0TS4GExtnoG/s400/006.jpg" width="215" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Someone asked me tonight to "shut up and show me some skin." Ok, here you go young lady. </div>Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-24928338291254269202010-09-09T21:13:00.000-07:002010-09-09T21:13:20.054-07:00Such Good PhotographyYes... fuck yes! "You've got me captured. I'm under your spell. No way you can stop me now... as fine as you are". I found myself singing these lyrics today and then realized that I needed to post this song. One of my favorites from Van Halen. <br />
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<object height="505" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ilKM-2Zd8N8?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ilKM-2Zd8N8?fs=1&hl=en_US&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="505"></embed></object><br />
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Van Halen - I'll Wait <br />
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Lyrics:<br />
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You've got me captured<br />
I'm under your spell<br />
I guess I'll never learn<br />
I have your picture<br />
Yes I know it well<br />
Another page is turned<br />
<br />
Are you for real?<br />
It's so hard to tell<br />
From just a <s>magazine</s> (blog)<br />
Yeah, you just smile and the picture sells<br />
Look what that does to me<br />
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Lyrics continued.....<br />
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Have a great weekend everyone! Wherever you may be and wherever you may be traveling to. Safe travels.<br />
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</div>Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-14912634809783517472010-09-06T20:16:00.000-07:002010-09-06T20:16:31.066-07:00I'm DoneI'm officially quiting. Hanging up the hat, and leaving for good. I started this blog with the intent of working on my Ashley Madison skills and hoping to procure new ones. There was also this faint hope of meeting other women who are bloggers and using AM. Maybe, I thought, I would have a better chance meeting my type of woman who was using that site if she could see more of me, more of my personality than what AM allows for. You may recall that I was using that site for a long time and had just a few experiences that kept me going back to it. Most of the time it was a lot of fucking wasted time.<br />
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In the meantime, the blog gave so much more than I could have imagined. You, my blog crushes, and the few men who stay in touch gave me so many ideas and inspired me to pursue what I've always wanted, whatever that want was. And what I want now has nothing to do with AM anymore. <br />
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Ohhh, what... what did you think I meant? I'm not qutting blogging I'm quiting AM, for good. <br />
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I've emailed Mr. Riff Dog to see if he wants my credits. He deserves them. What an amazing writer and flair that man has. <a href="http://ashleyandme.blogspot.com/">ashleyandme</a> I thought to myself, if I could write as half as good as him that I might enjoy blogging. So thanks Riff. <br />
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I don't need Ashley Madison anymore. It's just not my thing . It hasn't been now for a while. The last time I met someone from there I had to end it before it even got started really because suddenly I felt like I wasn't being truthful about my current situation. Yes, I told her I was married, but no, I didn't tell her that divorce papers were filed. You see, there's an underlying theme to AM and one which I don't want anything more to do with: cheating and lying. Mind you, I never cheated on my wife, or have cheated on a partner in which I was in a monogamous relationship with. But, most of the people I was meeting were cheating and that doesn't feel right to me now. My preference is more for a totally honest/open approach to sex, and to relationships. <br />
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Goodbye AM. Of course the blog continues. How could I close down the fountain of inspiration that pours through?Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-51349667097627224392010-09-03T12:13:00.000-07:002010-09-03T13:35:33.359-07:00Just a Bite?I don't normally eat desserts at all as they are too sweet and I am cautious of my sugar intake. Over the past four years I've come to really look upon desserts as something I am not interested in at all. Seriously, you can bake brownies, or cookies, or cakes and I won't even look at it. It took a lot of restraint and self control but I trained myself to stay away from sugar. Until now...<br />
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Your cake is the most enticing thing I have seen in a long long time. The smell has me positively intoxicated from head to toe. But why? Why can't I have my cake and eat it too? It looks and sounds so fucking delicious. I don't know who came up with that saying or why, but it applies now more than any other time. I want to start with just smelling the cake, slowly inhaling the icing, the flour, the sugar, and the flavors. It smells fucktacular. My nose is right up in it, and I can't help but lick it and to sneak a taste. <br />
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Yes, you're right, I can't do that because I can't eat it, but eating it is all I desire. Maybe I can have a bite someday.... maybe one day, sooner than later.Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-55681909881573692132010-08-25T21:00:00.000-07:002010-08-25T21:00:04.843-07:00ShoulderI posted a while ago that I was frustrated by a couple injuries that I had, that were preventing me from exercising. Well I am happy to say that with time, they got better, and my shoulder is feeling superb. Would love for you to feel it. If I were on top of you would you feel my chest and work your way up to my shoulders with your hands? I invite you to.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie6Jm9zCCQFwWyIoaP0xzN_hyr7jV2BOEcBIT52TOIUAssqeR4gw4rDLu-iZC7Z7-SLmFYJHYfzGiSzTx7UlJMuRSRqXf4qb0Tu7gJ4vZNchjoTX-tqwV9TGHRfK8NicZC2Nrzm5_0tlv1/s1600/2010-08-21_17-51-15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEie6Jm9zCCQFwWyIoaP0xzN_hyr7jV2BOEcBIT52TOIUAssqeR4gw4rDLu-iZC7Z7-SLmFYJHYfzGiSzTx7UlJMuRSRqXf4qb0Tu7gJ4vZNchjoTX-tqwV9TGHRfK8NicZC2Nrzm5_0tlv1/s320/2010-08-21_17-51-15.jpg" width="272" /></a></div><br />
<span id="goog_844810934"></span><span id="goog_844810935"></span>Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-54305363727504631382010-08-23T19:27:00.000-07:002010-08-23T19:47:23.503-07:00Instant GratificationYou stand before me by the bed looking intense, with purpose. Your body, your pose is seduction, defining it with your femininity. You want something, and yet you also look vulnerable. It's alluring, the combination, the contrast of purpose and risk written on your face. Although . . . it's not really risky, because truly how could I turn you down? Ever. How could I reject you looking like the divine heavenly/earthly creature that you are. It's impossible, it would go against all laws of nature.<br />
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I see you.... wearing your black silky panties inviting me to worship that which I already worship more than any religion or deity. Your skin, milky white, like satin, so smooth and creamy. Your eyes are deep blue, and your hair is the same color as your panties. This look is biologically and chemically attractive. My brain cannot deny it. My pheromones shout it out. My cock feels an instant warmth in just the site of you. Yes, it's more than alive.<br />
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Walking without hesitation toward you, our lips connects. Eyes in deep connection. As we stand facing each other my hand reaches forward and slides underneath your silk and into your other lips feeling your hot cunt with my fingers. I slide my fingers very gently on your lower lips while biting your upper lips with my teeth. You gasp. You moan. It's too much too quick, but you asked for it, and I feel the gentle release of your warm lubricant on my fingers, as your cunt spills its delicious sweet sex. We continue to stand facing each other. My cock is at full strength, and my fingers sliding between the folds of your wet pussy. <br />
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Unbutton my jeans. Don't tease me! This is instant gratification and I want your gratifying hand on my cock. Squeeze me. Listen to me moan as we continue to kiss each other. My fingers work to elicit your juices and I began to push upward toward you, finding the inside walls of your pussy. Don't! Don't move. I am fucking you now furiously with my hand gratifying that insatiable urge your cunt feels for touch, for fuck. The only acceptable movement is your hand stroking my cock vigorously. Up and down, faster, faster, grip it harder. I lean in toward your chest, targeting that succulent nipple and I suck. Hard. One hand fucking you the other hand holding the back of your curly dark hair tight. Holding your head exactly where I want it, I see that you are about to cum. <br />
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How else may I gratify you lover?Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-28301405450446369342010-08-19T20:51:00.003-07:002010-08-19T20:51:26.952-07:00Funny and Hot - The Deadly ComboA woman that can make me laugh and who is attractive is the double knock out for me. Often times I meet someone who is wicked funny but whom I am not attracted to. Or I meet someone is deadly hot and has no sense of humor. Rachel Feinstein, whom I have never met, is both funny and very attractive. I wanted to share her latest you-tube video which I thought you all might get a kick out of. You may have seen her on comedy central or last comic standing.<br />
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<object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Czprgo5g890?fs=1&hl=en_US"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Czprgo5g890?fs=1&hl=en_US" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-44532636476090822502010-08-18T20:36:00.000-07:002010-08-18T22:24:42.650-07:00Grab My Ass<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOT6NLVOfb1LYaU8BBtufb2_h11n12mDTyss1cuEwrfDvosHC2OvEP4n2Do2fz2lPIJ6h68f9nmbqgZx-AGy-nuDsHYHzCmHj3GDSFazWSOrB3prpoJWwwphBNRKq00n2gGqw9-2mET1Mi/s400-h/CIMG4226-1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikhyuwSRIFGPJlBHu5lXLnv_kRdNtP_oIDP-b2wCXsS-P9qoO64N0L0n_7oHn-tmMTUNXdDjg2M5bGkSSoWsrj7DtPOR68l-l4krqa-sgcnmm-eCGKe24CZfa3E0ydlwZp9-j5cOwantux/s320/CIMG4218-1.JPG" width="285" /></a></div><br />
Click my ass<br />
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She's waiting in traffic, texting me, telling me that she needs me and needs me now. I tell her to come upstairs when she gets here, and that I'll be waiting for her. I wait, wait in these striped pants, and when she gets here she takes them off instantly. Now I'm on top of her and she grabs my ass, feeding her nails into it. It hurts but it feels so good. Fuck! "Fuck me she says." Say it louder.Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-82127371285122358332010-08-04T19:22:00.000-07:002010-08-04T20:19:02.110-07:00I CheatedI had a hotel date very recently. It was my 2nd time to meet this woman. The backdrop for our getting together was practically written for me, right out of my own blog, out of my own fantasies. This woman and I met nearly 6 months ago but didn't really hit it off. I was curious though. On that interesting night we went out as a group together, leaving the hotel and partying till late at night. My date for that night was already established and I had no less than a good time, but I was curious what was happening in the other room next door with this girl. She had me curious. She's stunningly beautiful. Fast forward to this past weekend, and the circumstances couldn't have been better. Here she is with me and she wants nothing more than a friend with benefits, a fuck buddy. This, among other things was exactly what I was open for. <br />
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Before we met, we exchanged a few emails. Both describing to each other why we wanted this kind of relationship and what the rules were. I even came up with a "safe-word" that either one of could say if we thought the other was crossing the line. She understood exactly what my situation was and promised me not to get clingy, or emotionally attached to me. And vice versa. It was a fairly easy discussion, and she admitted that she did not want to get involved with someone right now. She wanted to get her life back on track, to take care of herself and not get caught up with someone while also acknowledging my need to not have to take care of another persons emotional needs now since I am already loaded in that department. It was almost like a business transaction, sprinkled with lust and passion. <br />
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We met, had dinner and wine, and chit chatted about things. Nothing too deep, just small talk, and then off to the hotel. Candles lit, music playing, and before you knew it we were kneeling on the bed facing each other and kissing. Good kissing.....just right, hands exploring each other. She undid my belt buckle and seemed to take pleasure in slowly unbuttoning my pants. I watched her with eagerness and anticipation as her hands pulled my pants down then traveling over my underwear to find my cock, squeezing it and teasing me. Underwear off, all of my clothes off and my cock in her mouth - I am on my knees leaning back using one hand to hold me up on the bed as I enjoy the moment. She took her time, not rushing it but just enjoying my member. One hand squeezing the base of my cock, the other hand intermittently massaging my balls. She had good technic ;). Not great, but good. <br />
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Our fuckfest lasted for a good 10 hours, intermixed with a little bit of sleep here and there. How does that happen and where did I get my mojo to keep it up for that long? Well I cheated. I took a Levitra pill before we got to the room. Booking a hotel date happens once or twice a year and I wanted it to be spectacular. I wanted it to last, and last it did. Unfortunately for her, it did. I came three separate times. Apparently it took her 3 full days before she could feel normal again, because I evidently bruised her cunt with the marathon episode. For that I'm kind of sorry. What does that feel like to walk around for 3 days feeling sore in your pussy? I don't know. But is it wrong to sneak a Levitra in on a fuck-date, where you know that all you are doing is fucking? She seemed to really enjoy it at the moment but didn't care so much for the after affects. <br />
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One final footnote --Ladies....I cannot for the life of me understand how I attract a woman who does not want me to go down on her !?!? This is almost a joke. When I tried to go there with her she pulled me back up and wouldn't let me? I almost stopped to ask, "Really, you read my blog...? You've read how this has happened to me more often in the past year than I care to quantify? Why don't YOU want me to do down on you? I've heard a few reasons, but regardless, I wish you could just lay down spread em and let me have at it." Ok, I didn't say that of course, but I was thinking it. Or maybe I was thinking that she just needs to sit on my face and let go of whatever emotional or physical block she had built. Anyhow, I can't complain too much. She had exactly the body I have been craving. And now I crave it just a little bit more.Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-57503564987472522792010-07-28T22:33:00.000-07:002010-07-28T22:33:24.056-07:00HNT - It's All in Your Technic<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>I really didn't think I'd see myself here again on HNT but you just never know. Here's to having proper technic. When it comes to women, a man can always work on it.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWGvcXEfr0t4ubRtyrJSdiPqqbBk-ODBRpVf7E-daVU5_eRAVOZT7dLp_6eCj-wAChbIuEweQneWeCM_u0cqzrn-gDvKG3sWgBr2QW0GmK_tKEb-uHqYSqveFbkYNTVXEuN3x4nAAlK6yc/s1600/034-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWGvcXEfr0t4ubRtyrJSdiPqqbBk-ODBRpVf7E-daVU5_eRAVOZT7dLp_6eCj-wAChbIuEweQneWeCM_u0cqzrn-gDvKG3sWgBr2QW0GmK_tKEb-uHqYSqveFbkYNTVXEuN3x4nAAlK6yc/s640/034-1.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-54330904720826105622010-06-13T17:41:00.000-07:002010-06-16T15:03:48.946-07:00It's June 2010Today is like any other day. It's June, and summer is just unfolding. The date is a bit strange. I hadn't really thought about it too much other than two things. First, today was the anniversary of my marriage that is in the final stages of dissolution. I'm ok with that. I'm more than ok. In fact it's really time for me to stop talking about it, except for the fact that she lives down the hall from me. We do interact like roommates in a well oiled machine to make the moving parts of our family continue along. We are still family, and my former spouse now plays the role that's a little bit like a sister-in-law. Does that make any sense? Well, maybe what I meant is a sister-in-law that you used to have sex with. Ahhh, just forget it.<br />
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The other thing that happened on this date was exactly a year ago I had the best one-time fuck fest I've ever had. You may have already <a href="http://deweyssystem.blogspot.com/2009/06/next-morning.html">read </a>about that. I still think about this woman and that indelible mark she left in my history book of greatest fucks ever. It was a one time thing to never be repeated. It was a mind-fuck of sorts. So yea, that happened exactly a year ago today. And yes, it happened before divorce was an answer, and with my former spouses knowledge. If you could have read her text to me that morning just before my tryst, you'd know that I couldn't hate this woman (my ex). She supported me having fun like that. She still does.<br />
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So what? Or, now what? I haven't felt much like blogging lately. My sexual adventures, my system is stalling a bit. Earlier this week a blogger and I exchanged emails about what I could or should do now. Perhaps that was more like the blogger told me to stop looking and just enjoy life. To just "be". Looking for what you might ask? Well, looking for something that I haven't had or felt for a really long time. Looking for love. I know . . . this conjures up some country music song. That's kind of what the blog has been about. Some of my posts have been about sex, and purely sex, or about relationships, but I want to have something special with that one person. Maybe that's monogamy talking, maybe in my fantasies its more of a polyamorous thing, but shit, you have to start at least with one person, and this isn't just about fucking. Sex is part of it, but this runs deeper.<br />
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The blogger posed a question to me. "Do you have to date?". And the answer I gave is yes. I want love. Is that so shameful to admit, or say. But for now, the quest to find love is freaking elusive. Some suggest stop looking all together and love will find you. Some suggest, at the very least to not be desperate, and to not appear too available. I concur with both. Others say don't reveal very much about yourself. Let there be mystery about yourself. Be enigmatic. That has actually been some of the best dating advice ever. But alas, my experiences have led me to believe thus far that 80% of women are not interested in any kind of a relationship with a man who lives in the same house with his former spouse and kids. It's like I'm unavailable or something? Which is totally true . . . . and I'm not moving out, though at times my former spouse drives me to this type of fantasy. But yet, I am also capable of showing, giving, having a normal committed relationship with a woman. So far the other 20% I've found that are OK with it, are single, and are single for some very clear reasons. Reasons that I don't find attractive. <br />
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What pisses me off though is that I don't want advice that says to just let it go, to just be, or just stop searching, or some variation of that. Dammit I'm a man, we men hunt, and we pursue, and I won't just give up looking. I am not getting any younger. I feel like time is not kind to people who are alone, or feel alone. If you're a woman, perhaps it's impossible to understand what I'm feeling, on many levels. Increase your testosterone hormones and live with your ex down the hall. Maybe then you'd be able to empathize better. If you're a man, then you're probably thinking to yourself, "dude, you got to get out of that house". I hear that, but for now, I choose to see my kids daily. So maybe that's a trade-off I have to live and deal with. I would choose my kids over anything or anyone else. But can I have both? <br />
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Please whatever you do, don't give me encouraging advice. I will be alright. I don't need encouragement or support, I just want to vent what's on my mind. I would like to to find someone who shakes up my world and stabilizes it all at the same time. Someone who knows that my situation is somewhat temporary but yet is willing to ride that ride with me not knowing exactly where it goes or how it will end. It's unconventional for sure, but it doesn't mean I can't offer that special someone a good ride.<br />
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.Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-83329592877162768822010-05-17T11:25:00.000-07:002010-05-17T11:25:51.698-07:00Have I Learned Anything from Blogging?I started blogging a year ago. <br />
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*quick celebration*<br />
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party, dance, toast, and adjourn<br />
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What thoughts do I share in my one year anniversary? What deep dark secrets do I confess? Simple: Can we as a society get off this bandwagon that says relationships have to last forever? That's it! That's all I have to ask. Meaningful, full, committed relationships can have an expiration date and that can be ok. Yes.... it can. "To have and to hold till death do you part" -- be damned. <br />
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Marriage is an institution that is outdated. The tradition began so long ago that I can't even fathom that kind of timeline. It's a tradition that is no longer necessary for what it was started for. What I can fathom is that I would love to walk up to woman who takes my breath away and say to her, "You and I have something special, we have a connection. We can learn from each other, we can take from each other and give. We can and should laugh together. Let's travel together, let's soak each other up and embrace this next chapter in our lives together... but let's do it with the notion that our time together will most likely come to an end. Our journey may be long, or it may be short, but let's enjoy this ride wherever it takes us and let's be realistic (in an optimistic way). We may come to the realization that at some point, our relationship will have completed itself. Let's be ok with that." <br />
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I know that was a mouthful. These aren't literally words I would use, but the concept is real for me. The concept is also powerful, and what I would like people to understand is that I believe we can learn and grow from a variety of people, from new relationships, and from new experiences. This is one reason why I support, to some extent, open marriages, and polyamory. It's also why I think people cheat. It's not just about sex.<br />
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My parents taught me that marriage was for time and all eternity. They were examples of this kind of life-long monogamy that I am dubious about. They believe that once they both die that they will be reunited in some heavenly sphere that will bind them together for forever. They are not alone as many faith believing people hold onto to these ideas. I once believed the same thing. The idea of that now scares the shit out me. The same person, for eternity? And you call that heaven God? I'd say that's closer to a living hell. <br />
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Getting married is not for me most likely ever again, but not because I am afraid of commitment. I like commitment. I prefer it over the months and months of dating and meeting new woman. But I am a realist. The words that I used to describe what I would want with this woman are exactly the kinds of ideas that I wish we as a society would embrace. I don't need marriage to prove my love, to prove my commitment because my actions will speak louder than that damn piece of paper or ring on her finger. <br />
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Now.... let's get back to laughing together. That was my favorite part....Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-51817436085863772252010-04-28T18:19:00.000-07:002010-04-28T19:10:24.204-07:00Buzz Buzz BuzzSo much is buzzing around in my brain that I thought I should make a bullet point list of some of them. <br />
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<ul><li>There are a few bloggers out there that need me to earn about one extra zero on the end my salary so I can live a fantasy or two. Fucking economy!? Get better already. Ok, maybe they don't need me, as much as I want them. </li>
<li>My body is nursing two injuries now and I need them to be healed quickly. One of them, my shoulder, is keeping me from my routine at the gym, and I feel gross. And my knee is keeping from doing my basketball - cardio thing. I need the healing angel to come and come quickly. </li>
<li>I'm living two worlds right now. One is still in AM and about to begin a new journey with someone new. The other is dabbling in some "single" dating life meeting hot girls on normal web-sites like Plenty of Fish or Match. Let's hope those two worlds don't ever get mixed up.</li>
<li>All around me I see beautiful women, and some of them are extraordinarily hot. Single too. I'm surrounded by so many people yet often feel alone. Poor me huh? Don't worry too much though.</li>
<li>I often wonder if I continue this blog for the right reasons. Is it good for me, does it record my thoughts some how for safe keeping? Or do I do it because I love the attention and the advice? </li>
<li>I've been called "adorable" many times over lately in the past 6 months. Women who barely meet me use the word. Is that good? Do I want to be adorable? Maybe I want another adjective like "insatiable"? I don't know. How about "fucking hot"? Too much?</li>
<li>My new AM woman is really cute. Her body is just like the woman I posted like 2 or 3 posts ago. I want that. I like a woman I can pick up and pin against a wall. She's super funny too. We're meeting for the 2nd time tomorrow and I know it will be stepped up in terms of something physical. Perhaps a kiss? Maybe more. It's not really defined in terms of how fast it needs to go. Marathon . . . or a sprint? I'm not sure and it's the mystery that is so fun.</li>
<li>I feel some level of guilt for not tending to my blog regularly, or paying attention to others. </li>
<li>I still love beer, perhaps more than the normal guy my age. </li>
<li>My home is perfectly divided. I have my own room, and the kids are happy in their respective rooms as well. My former spouse has the master bedroom so she can't complain too much since that's the nicest room in the house. Neither she or I have ever had our own rooms before. We've always shared with someone.</li>
<li>Ex-Wifey has had some girlfriends sleeping over recently and these girls are super hot. They'll often sleep in her bed with her. I imagine that both of them come in my room together in the middle of the night to quench their thirst for my cock and yet somehow it hasn't happened, and trust me, it never will, and I'm ok with that. A guy can fantasize right? </li>
<li>Sabrina was over at my house last weekend, late, late at night. Everyone was gone. I haven't had a woman in a long time and it felt wonderful. We kissed each other all over for a long time and eventually she decided to take me into her mouth. She took all of me, and then some. It was immensely pleasurable. Next time its her turn.</li>
<li>I've been talking to a woman for about a month now that I find extremely attractive. She's really got me kinda wound up. If she's anything in real life like she in on the phone or on email, I could really get into the idea of a normal relationship. Normal, monogamous, and somewhat healthy. No? Yea, I miss being loved, as in adored, and worshiped.... even if just for a moment. I'll take it. But I'll most likely give as much if not more of it back.</li>
<li>Just bought a memory foam mattress, and yet I wonder if I want my bed to remember everything that takes places there?? hhhhmmmm (pondering)</li>
</ul><div>Cheers Everyone</div>Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-41904831853176376562010-04-13T13:47:00.000-07:002010-04-13T14:44:07.258-07:00Discovering You - Discovering MeI've gotten a lot of really good advice lately about my relationship strategy, or my "fucking system". Some of these personal messages have been long, but really well written and thought out. At times I ask myself what the fuck did I do to deserve such attention. I'm not sure, but I gladly accept it. Thank you for doing that, and thank you for being so honest (you all know who you are). I've been applying some of that advice. I'm glad to say that I feel as though its working. No complaints here.<br />
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My 6th AM date is scheduled for this weekend. It's either date #6 or #7, and it's with someone in my town. It was a year ago that I had an AM date with someone here locally, and I'm very happy to say that she and I are still close friends. This new girl and I have been corresponding and it's a lot of the usual, but I've toned down what I would normally say at this point. I'm holding back a lot of info which feels great and stirs up more mystery about me. <br />
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In talking to this fair maiden, I thought about why people need to cheat, or perhaps, why they have an open marriage, get a divorce, or even why some stay single forever. It's about discovery. It's about being discovered, in many ways, over and over again, and it's about being the discoverer. It isn't just about sex, it's much more than that, and in many cases sex isn't even the best part about it. Perhaps this is the age old question, " Are we humans meant to be monogamous?" I'm not going to dive into that though.<br />
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To discover someone, and to be discovered is about attraction, and about intimacy. It's also affection, or simply the touch of another human being. It can be soft, or sweet, and simple as a kiss. But it can also be about discovering anew ones body, to find chemistry and passion. I think this is what drives many married people to boredom. I said many....not all. I get bored with routine. I want something new, I want to discover and be discovered all over again. This is what I love about all of my experiences. Surprise me, or give me something unexpected. It doesn't mean we don't love our primary partners, or take anything away from them but there comes a time when we want something that we don't have, we want to explore, to seduce someone, and/or be seduced by someone else.<br />
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Look at all of the great explorers from the past, from our world history. These guys never discovered one place and just sat there chilling till their deaths. Discovery and exploration were in their blood. That's how I feel about my theory. Are we meant to stay with the same person forever? (oops, that's not what this post is about). I want to get chills with that new person, I want my heart to thump loudly, and when we kiss I want it to last forever, but hey, I don't want to settle there in that new town for the rest of my life, I want to go out and get those chills all over again. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtTghRbuWNhmcdajaXsDB2mYt3HZOh5rNDr6_k1QS9FWw3z8Ze6PUm1XBDrM1g6r4NwQbpu2kc-1LLQGBu8kENEeyPxYlZokjqKa5gGbIwZQWIXpPWJwd5zI0JHLpML0ajoqpdiPaEES_L/s1600/Marco-Polo.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtTghRbuWNhmcdajaXsDB2mYt3HZOh5rNDr6_k1QS9FWw3z8Ze6PUm1XBDrM1g6r4NwQbpu2kc-1LLQGBu8kENEeyPxYlZokjqKa5gGbIwZQWIXpPWJwd5zI0JHLpML0ajoqpdiPaEES_L/s200/Marco-Polo.png" width="147" /></a></div>Marco Polo inspired many like Columbus and others in their quests to explore the earth, the world. I too am inspired as well, by the likes of all of you bloggers to explore my sexual world, to discover new people, new places, and to have new adventures. I also enjoy being discovered myself. Shall I leave you a map to my bedroom, and/or a map of my body? Well there no is map for my body. Not until you discover it yourself.<br />
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"Land Ahoy hot bitches!" lolDewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-11550250186404235802010-04-07T15:56:00.000-07:002010-04-07T15:56:52.292-07:00Divorced and ForcedHoly shit, I'm not the only one living like this. It's good to know there are others I suppose. Two nights ago I had some ideas about this trend, and perhaps a way to have a business based on these concepts. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: red;">Divorced and living together in the same home</span>. Well, in my case, I'm not forced to live in the same house with my spouse, but to move out would mean everyone has to lower their standard of living. It also means that I don't get to be surrounded by my kids and see them everyday. That would be devastating for me and for them. Sometimes when I'm away from them for 2 or 3 days I really miss them and they miss me too. So no, I'm not gonna have a custody battle when it isn't necessary and this living arrangement isn't for forever. Thank Gawd!!<br />
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Oh, if you're living in this kind of arrangement too, and if you're a hot woman, in southern California, well we should meet. I want to go over my ideas with you, and maybe have a glass of wine while we explore. haha!! I'm working on exploiting all angles now. <br />
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<object data="http://widgets.clearspring.com/o/4ae8d36a3102598f/4bbd0979176fa109/4ae8d36a3102598f/c8ed4967/-cpid/6ad9030b9982726" height="270" id="W4ae8d36a3102598f4bbd0979176fa109" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="332"><param name="movie" value="http://widgets.clearspring.com/o/4ae8d36a3102598f/4bbd0979176fa109/4ae8d36a3102598f/c8ed4967/-cpid/6ad9030b9982726" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="allowNetworking" value="all" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /></object>Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-65371742429653519432010-03-16T11:32:00.000-07:002010-03-16T11:32:03.148-07:00Back to the Drawing BoardAM date #5 proceeded Saturday afternoon and I was anxious in a good way. Yes, this time I didn't forget to have lunch and I was feeling pretty good. We met at a coffee shop and talked for a little while. The conversation was nice. We've talked a lot on the phone and from email for about 7 months, and we finally were meeting. Crazy huh? Investing months of time, with an occasional text or email here or there. Well much like my last AM date this woman was married and in an open marriage. So far so good being that I prefer this kind of arrangement/friendship/relationship over a single woman. <br />
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We drove to another location and hung out together just talking and getting to know each other. Was she hot? Sort of. When she smiled she was attractive, however from different angles I wasn't at all attracted to her. All I could think about was "don't settle for someone for whom you are not totally physically attracted to". I've been posting these kinds of warnings for myself on this blog for sometime now. <br />
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She talked a lot and at one point I was thinking that she's really talking too much and not really listening or laughing at my jokes. Does that matter in the grand scheme of things when I really want to do is maybe fuck her? Yes, and no, but there has to be both physical chemistry and that mental spark, and both were a little bit lacking. <br />
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So, back to the drawing board where I continue to fantasize about about everything I want in partner and what I'm looking for. Yes, if this were a movie it would be a lot like Weird Science, where I could design everything, a la carte style, the perfect partner. Although a little bit of unpredictability is nice too. How would I design that? hhmmmm<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlSkFjQWDI7AIqUutYSqxkNeKWIOhxnL0ThxJ_Am9-lR3Oa7ezgRcQ_pnFNXx1uQuql_ZewkRNToGLo3sjeeT9RCZomT7AEM88CmpwC42FhfLfPnwzCzwhQW3ev1iKhR9ESXngOJnejSK4/s1600-h/woman1_113.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlSkFjQWDI7AIqUutYSqxkNeKWIOhxnL0ThxJ_Am9-lR3Oa7ezgRcQ_pnFNXx1uQuql_ZewkRNToGLo3sjeeT9RCZomT7AEM88CmpwC42FhfLfPnwzCzwhQW3ev1iKhR9ESXngOJnejSK4/s640/woman1_113.jpg" width="395" /></a></div><br />
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Where are you woman? Where are you women who are "attached" but looking for something fun on the side, looking for a friend-with-benefits, or a fuck-buddy? Where are the women that are in an open marriage in my town?Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-568435777506440362010-03-03T10:37:00.000-08:002010-03-03T10:37:21.455-08:00Who Are You People?I've gotten some really amazing comments from my posts recently. Some of you, many of you, leave me comments that I find fascinating, and insightful. It's like getting advice, but not just advice from a friend, but from multiple friends that know more about you than your real every day friends. Strange how that works. I've also gotten some emails from people that I don't know, but that write in this tiny little blogging community. People read my blog, take time to write me offering personal suggestions and advice on how I can find the things that I'm looking for, that I want out of my life. How fucking awesome is that?!?! For these and many of your great comments lately I just want to say thank you. I appreciate everyone of you who's stopped by and offered your thoughts. They have really helped me to get perspective. I can literally float a question out there in this forum and have 10 fantastic answers within 24 hours.<br />
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I've been sick since Sunday night, but I just got some mojo back and I'm trying to stop by all of your blogs and return the favor. In the meantime. Please accept this cheesy sign as a small token of my gratitude.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRBIxv8EkRdxpwnKbaZuSfLsabtEXZw3cdDntJUe9PNXvn2r-dvssdYXgAdtSgVask3km5SKovofvbXausjvJOymXJ6Z_JYzUCJtUD_xQykbe7tPBByT2dF8a9VR7dFeG4MXQ9QDWR9kyr/s1600-h/thank-you.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRBIxv8EkRdxpwnKbaZuSfLsabtEXZw3cdDntJUe9PNXvn2r-dvssdYXgAdtSgVask3km5SKovofvbXausjvJOymXJ6Z_JYzUCJtUD_xQykbe7tPBByT2dF8a9VR7dFeG4MXQ9QDWR9kyr/s320/thank-you.jpg" /></a></div>Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-41566461939868032222010-02-26T14:14:00.000-08:002010-02-26T14:16:43.520-08:00Don't Forget Your Lunch Dewey<span class="Apple-style-span">I</span><span class="Apple-style-span"> met someone from the AM site last week. This was the 4th person I've met from the site ever and the 3rd from LA. It is becoming very clear at least to me that the kind of women to use that web-site is a very rare bird indeed and there are so few sightings of that bird in my neck of the woods that I have to make a 90 minute trip just to see it. I don't mind that at all. Especially when that bird is as beautiful, as perfect, as sensual, colorful, as the one I met last Friday at a coffee shop. She came with a gorgeous flower in her hair.</span><br />
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</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span">Because these sightings for me are rare, I try to put my best foot forward, hope that there's chemistry and maybe some sparks will fly. The verdict was in fairly soon. There were no sparks. There was no flirting. There was great conversation, and I was attracted to this woman, but I was not completely there. You see I hadn't really shown up for the meeting. I was physically there and mentally aloof. I realized when we said goodbye after having a walk around a beautiful park that I wasn't going to see her again. And that felt bad, and it felt worse because I knew I needed something, I needed something to help me be more of myself. I was fidgety, I was nervous, so I thought. After we said goodbye, I sat in my car, and it hit me. 'Dumb-ass, you didn't eat anything all day. You had a health bar for breakfast and it's now 5pm. No fucking kidding.' Yes, I had a 'a ha' moment there as I sped to a restaurant to pick up some food. I was starving and it certainly impacted my impression. Lesson learned. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span">Here are some fast AM facts: I've met four women from the site. I know. Only four. The first one was from my town, and is the one I still see on an on-going basis. She is the sweetest thing. It's literally perfect. We might not see each other for a month, or text but once every two weeks, but we adore each other. If they could only all just be like her. The 2nd woman I met was that very same week last spring. There was a lot of conversation building up to that meeting and when it finally happened, it was the sparks that you could just die for. It occurred in a hotel room, and it was amazing. I haven't seen her again. The third person I met was last summer. That meeting was strange. She had her kids in the other room and they could have come walking in on us at any minute. Bad fucking parenting. No, we didn't do anything. And then the 4th was last week. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span">I have since wrote to her, the 4th, and she was very very nice. She, of course, liked me, thought I was cute, but thought of me as really sweet, as a friend. NOOOOO! No guy wants to hear that. That's code for "you aint ever getting into these panties". Ha! Ok, well a good friend reminded me not to beat myself up for it all, and so I'm going to stop flogging myself and get back to reality. </span><br />
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</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span">Sabrina will be here all weekend. I'll probably see her once. Our last time together was a month ago and I enjoyed it. She was one of my first from 20 years ago. Not technically my first, but close enough. She is married. I haven't yet written about that date from last month.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span">I'm flirting with another woman here in town who's very cute, and I'm digging her because she knows my situation, my baggage, my red flags, and she's able to see through all of that. Oh did I tell you how cute she was? A very attractive body. I mean fully attractive. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span">Now if I can just remember everything that everyone has shared with me about the do's and don'ts, the what to say and the what not to say. Riff, Southern Girl, Mia, Ella, Jae, and all you others, can you all just hang out in my car outside while I schmooze her? I'll set you up in the mini-van and everyone can be comfortable as you all guide me into relationship success, that is, if Riff can keep his hands off of you for just the 30 minutes that I need to seal the deal. Ear piece...check. Microphone...check. Full tummy...check. Wits about you...check.</span>Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-2648993128650596882010-02-18T10:08:00.000-08:002010-02-18T11:46:23.883-08:00I keep Sucking in the Wrong Women<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"><i>This will be my last post for a while focused on or dedicated to the concept of understanding the opposite sex, because as much as I like to think I "get it" we all know that it's an impossible notion. We can just try our best and learn from our mistakes.</i></span></div><br />
A blogger caught my attention recently with her rather honest, sassy, yet skeptical approach to men, more specifically the men from AM. There's a confidence to her writing, to her wit, that suggests that she is not only smart, hilariously funny, but very sexy in real life. None of this has been confirmed but what I can say is that there was for me an instant feeling of comfortability in sharing with her what I considered to be my most intimate of personal or personality flaws. In revealing some truths to her, I learned a few things about myself, about women, and about what I can do to avoid the kinds of women that I've been meeting/attracting. Below is a recap of this exchange between myself and the very talented, funny <a href="http://revivingmia.blogspot.com/">Mia</a>. I confessed some rather personal stuff and now feel it makes sense here to share what those thoughts were:<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394;">Me:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394;">I have a tendency to suck women in. I talk a lot, and very openly. It's maybe almost a feminine trait perhaps. I am honest, somewhat charming, and a sensitive guy. I'm a nice guy. I try to be upfront with women and then after we have sex, I'm somewhat less interested in them, unless I find them ultra attractive, and that hasn't happened for a while. Yes. . . I have a thing about settling for less than total attraction too. So I'll see a woman, have sex, and then put some walls up afterwards. I'll be like, "you know I see other people right?" You know I'm not looking for a relationship right?" In a lot of cases after the sex is boring or I'm totally turned off my something, say a stinky vagina, or bad breath or both, I simply don't really want to see them anymore. Why can't there just be a code that says 'sex was just so-so, and you're really not what I'm looking for . . . can we still be friends?' :) Ok, that's harsh, but I set myself up in many cases for this kind of a disaster. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394;">I've had a couple issues with woman who right after we sleep together go fucking crazy on my facebook, and leave a gazillion messages or comments, and or texts to me. Their behavior changes, and I don't like it. I try to manage expectations and I don't do a good job with it. This happened with that Sabrina girl. I got so overwhelmed, even scared by her "love-intensity" after our weekend together that I almost shut down from her. I did for about a day. I couldn't talk to her, and tell her that I simply needed her to chill and not act any different than before we had sex. This happened with another girl about 3 weeks ago. She started pouring on the attention after sex and ughhhhhh. I think it's something I'm doing. I think i need to talk to these women less, to just be a lot more chill and let things happen. I am very fearful about someone whom I'm only partially attracted to 'falling for me'. It's happened like 3 times this past month. One of them I just totally had to boot. </span><br />
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<em>Wow - that was intense . . . Mia kindly and politely offered some stellar advice.</em><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">Mia:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">You do have game Dewey, and I'm wondering if perhaps the problem lies in how you "play" pre-coitus.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">What you've just described was a scenario that many of my guy friends have relayed to me. What I've come to understand about situations like this is that the guy is convinced that he is really in love/turned on by the woman he is pursuing (feelings are indeed genuine), he starts to "worship" her with words of adoration, even going as far as talking or eluding to having a future with her. These are the sort of acts that can cause a "vulnerable" woman to become emotionally connected, and in some cases, like yours, dependent on the guy, resulting in getting her to open herself up to a guy sexually. Then as soon as they "get some", they want the girl to get "the fuck away from them." The "fruit has been tasted" and one finds that it tastes like any other fruit, and so the attention/adoration abruptly stops, leaving the woman hurt, and in some unfortunate cases, go "bat-shit". Sex is a powerful emotional tool for women, they often can't detach emotions from sex, which is one of the most unfair aspects of our nature in general, and probably one of our greatest achilles' heel.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">You've mentioned before about feeling bad about seeing attached women, but that may be a safety net for you right now. Single women, no matter what they tell you, will eventually want to "nest", whether they plan on feeling that way or not (and given your personality type, the likelihood of that happening is high). [It's a primal, evolutionary drive to propogate the human species, as well as attaching oneself to a sole "protector" of their offspring]. Attached women can adjust to the limits of an arrangement like the one you described. That doesn't mean you may not come across a single woman who's life is so full she doesn't attach her worth to "belonging" to someone. Not always entirely out of the realm of possibility.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">Have you noticed a personality/behavior pattern among the women who've had trouble detaching from you? You may want to start watching for that in others in the future.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">You may be doing this already, but it may be helpful to let them know that you can't, absolutely CAN'T proceed with a sexual relationship with them unless they understand that you are seeing other people, and agree to be okay with you not contacting them as often as you like. Let them know that you are not intending to be disrespectful at all, you just need physical contact and play but absolutely cannot commit to one person EVER (don't ever give a timeline, because that will open a vulnerable person up to a possibility that you may move it sooner if you find something "special" about them).</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">You seem like you mean well and want to do that right thing in your approach to your relationships/arrangements. Try not to beat yourself over it if you are, you'll figure it out over time, really.</span><br />
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<em>I found a lot of jems in Mia's response to me. Very specifially the being absolutely clear advice in terms of not proceeding in a 'sexual relationship with them unless they understand that you are seeing other people, and agree to be ok with you not contacting them as often as you like'. Yes! An area that I need help with. The following is my response</em><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394;">Me:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394;">Huge huge huge for me. I am not doing this well enough. I just scratch the surface of it. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #fff2cc;">It needs to be a rehearsed or prepared message that I give before having sex, before going down that path with someone that I am "fully attracted" to.</span> I think this, along with sticking to attached women, are exactly right. This is kind of what blew me away about your analysis of me, or your advice for me. Amazing.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #0b5394;">Yes, avoiding personality types that get attached easily, or who may be vulnerable because "Bat-shit" aint pretty.</span><br />
<em></em><br />
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<em>I appreciated this dialog with Mia and having a strangers perspective on the matter. She offered me direct advice that made sense and that I plan to use. Now it's time to stop the analysis and have some fun! Lookout weekend cuz here I come.</em>Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-30038111488478852312010-02-17T10:10:00.000-08:002010-02-17T10:10:53.131-08:00Banning Marriages for People Who Don't Love Each Other<object height="405" width="500"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/wVeGUSGkhfw&hl=en_US&fs=1&border=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/wVeGUSGkhfw&hl=en_US&fs=1&border=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="500" height="405"></embed></object>Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-79541760241741081912010-02-09T15:06:00.000-08:002010-02-09T15:06:26.666-08:00Random RamblingsI hate it when people, or more specifically women just totally drop out of your life without any explanation. Be honest and just tell me what's going on. If you disappear because something happened and didn't have the class, the courtesy just to send me anything, any indication of what's happening, then you've only left me pondering all the what-if's. I can handle it really. In fact you could lie to me. That's better than nothing. Yes I am a sensitive soul but I can handle the truth. I know I can because I can tell you the truth. I am more comfortable now telling someone exactly how I feel then ever before. Take it or leave it. I speak what's on my mind and I am a terrible actor. If I'm not feeling it or if I'm in a mood you'll know. It will be easy to spot, like a fake Ashley Madison profile. <br />
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Being honest with my partners is the best policy for me. I am physically and mentally a happier person when I can be myself, put it all out on the table and let the cards fall where they fall. The only part about my behavior that I have some regret about is that I see married women. They hide my relationship with me from their husbands. I totally appreciate their need for discretion and I can empathize with a woman who wants an active sex life and who gets nothing from her husband, but it would be my preference to see women who are seeing other people and where there is no deception. Does such a place exist? Is it on an island, or maybe it only exists in some undiscovered primal tribe living in the jungles of Brazil?<br />
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I love it when a woman wants to exchange her body for money. Well, I like to know that right off the bat before I invest any time into that relationship, because truthfully I think there's something wrong with that arrangement and I've never participated in doing it or ever will. So thank you ladies who tell us upfront what your motives are because that's how I operate as well and it allows me to move on to the next person quickly. You need a sugar daddy? Ok. You want to shop on his credit card all day and then exchange sexual favors at night? Have at it, but use someone else's credit card. <br />
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To all the women out there that insist on having my attention 24-7, we don't have to text each other every day or send emails or have constant IM chat. I can't do that. I don't have the time nor is that the kind of relationship I'm trying to foster. I want to have sex with you, yes, I want to fuck you and I want it to last a long time, but please I don't want the 6th grade boyfriend/girlfriend thing as well. Let's be adults about it. Just because I don't text for a few days doesn't mean I'm not into you. Sometimes I need a break from it all, or maybe I want to spend a little more time nurturing a certain other person that I'm seeing before I see you. Just relax, take a deep breathe. In fact, pull away from me for a while and it will make me want to chase you all the more. It isn't a game mind you. I just can't text you 100 times in the day or answer all your emails. If I could get this one woman to do a blog interview with me, she'd tell you. She'd tell you that a once a week text, email, with a simple flirty message is all it takes and what I'm the most comfortable with. We see each other once a month and its always delicious. We could both take it or leave it. Shit, why can't you just be more like her? She loves me, but she doesn't have to shower me with shit-loads of messages to show me. <br />
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Finally, I saw you on NYE and I was elated to spend the night with you but as your pants came down, as the moment heated up, I was squarely knocked in the face by your large unkempt forest. I'm sure someone somewhere has told you that a little shave, a lotta shave, or a wax, can make the world of a difference. You know you make my job harder when you don't do any maintenance on it? I'm just asking for an occasional trim. <br />
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Ok, and that's it for my random ramblings for the day. Can you tell that I'm a bit overwhelmed with my system? Yea, it needs some quick tune ups.Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6222001463572777842.post-41469741221591783942010-02-05T18:46:00.000-08:002010-02-08T10:53:20.830-08:00The Look of LoveFirst off some quick facts: <br />
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I am starting to show more gray hairs than ever before and I am thrilled that so many have complimented that look on men in generally and especially on me. Now down to business. I am occasionally seeing the first person I met on AM. She is a great friend, lives close to me and we exchange adorations for each other that are perfectly comfortable for me. Love me, but without any strings attached, or just love to be with me and I will love to be with you. It's just so easy with her. A perfect relationship. After telling her that I was hesitant to meet up the other night, that I wasn't 'feeling it' so to speak, she writes back and offers to 'knock some sex into me'. Now that is utterly resistible. <br />
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I had a very nice weekend with Sabrina and that may be another post, or not. We plan on seeing each other again. <br />
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The last person I made any real contact with on AM was in August. We have been exchanging messages since August and still haven't met. Can you believe that? We both want to but it's not been easy, although we just had our first conversation today on the phone and I think we will meet in February. That's 1/2 year of waiting and patience should have its virtues. I am talking with some various women that live close to me, but who aren't attached. I hesitate to pursue something with any of them only because I am not wanting a typical relationship . . .<br />
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What do I want right now? I'm not sure exactly what that looks like. At times I'm better at describing what it doesn't look like, but I'm going to try and describe what is an ever changing look of love.<br />
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What does the look of love for Dewey look like? For me that look is:<br />
<ul><li>an open minded female</li>
<li>trust/honesty/respect</li>
<li>polyamory - multiple people, multiple partners, fidelity among partners, expanding love, infinite love</li>
<li>a woman who shares my same attitudes about monogamy - who wants to just be with me and enjoy the moment, however long that moment lasts</li>
<li>on-going open communication</li>
<li>a woman that can take it or leave it, and by it, I mean "me" - so yes, the commitment to the relationship is less important than the relationship itself. </li>
<li>women with children, most likely because they understand the commitment I have to my kids and respect that</li>
<li>someone who wants to have fun, to play, and to fuck, and explore that with me</li>
<li>total physical attraction</li>
</ul><div>What it doesn't look like to me:</div><div><ul><li>possessiveness, jealousy, drama, games, secrets, monogamy, needy, and attention seeking </li>
<li>insecurities, hidden motives - objectives, with strings attached</li>
<li>a materialistic woman looking for benefits above and beyond my company</li>
<li>a constant partner whom I share a bed with and sleep with - 'yes, it's my preference that you get up and go now . . . it's 2am and I need to get some "real" sleep'</li>
<li>partial physical attraction</li>
</ul><div>At the moment I would say that what I have enjoyed more recently is the relationship high, the <a href="http://confessionsfrommyopenmarriage.blogspot.com/2010/01/one-confession-417.html">endorphins</a>, the energy from a new partner, from the exchange with a new partner, and from the mutual attraction. But don't get that confused ladies with some romantic notion that I want to marry you, have a vasectomy reversal and give you babies. Those day are done. And so I go about it various ways - testing someone to find out how they would fit on the look of love. It's the testing that has gotten me into a bit of trouble because I need to use better skills or a better approach in the discovery process. What I do is build walls. I build certain walls and then wait to see what their reaction is. It's part of a process where I attempt to put all my cards out on the table and then see where they fall, but the building walls has not been very effective. <br />
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In my last post I talked about the NSA woman that I had to dump. I told her to stop messaging me, texting, and calling. She was trying to climb up over every single wall and I was trying to shoot her down. I would tell her what I was looking for, basically everything in both columns, and she would agree, but then act like I never said those things. This woman liked me, and I mean really liked me. It was too much. And I found that unattractive. If you do all the chasing and tell me how hard it is to find people you connect with, until you found me, and then you act as though you really want a traditional relationship with me, it's going to turn me off quickly.<br />
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My look of love has it's limits. More likely than not I think that human relationships come to an end some for better and some for worse. Yes that rights, I think all relationships have some sort of an expiration date. There will come a time when you're in love and then something will change. Perhaps that change is due to boredom, or perhaps for something far more serious. It doesn't mean that one shouldn't engage in relationships or strive for love but I'd like to see people lower their expectations of what marriage or what a partner can do for them. I am not a fan of the fairy-tale love stories or of the institution of marriage. Not only do I think it doesn't work but it places too much emphasis on how your partner will be the joy that you were missing, or "complete you". Humans are complete on their own, and I don't think we need the romantic Disney notion that love is forever or of 'till death do you part'. Let's be realistic and just enjoy the ride, enjoy it for however long it lasts. Just my opinion and just how I perceive the world. Thank you for coming along this ride with me.</div><div><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444;"><b>Update: Some of the comments are asking me about a conflict in my bullet points and I wanted to add this to just clarify my thoughts. </b></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444;"><b>O</b></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444;"><b>n the surface they look opposed to each other. You can't be monogamous and polyamorous at the same time. I know. I meant that when she's with me, she's really with me. That she's into me and that as we're together she embraces me and we have fun, that we exploit that moment together. But also that she doesn't count on me being something more than that. Or being a person that wants more from her. . . that she doesn't want a monogamous full time commitment to "us".</b></span></span></i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444;"><b> </b></span></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #444444;"><b>I like polyamory as a concept, but I've never lived it or seen it done successfully for a long time. I don't know if I would ever practice it but I look at it as an alternative to monogamy. The thing to is that while I like polyamory I also like many of the things that come from monogamy as well, and I suppose, depending on what day of the week we were talking, I might explore another monogamous relationship if the right person came along. I'm not so close minded that I wouldn't consider it. SO yea, you are seeing conflicting impluses or desires from me, because I am in a state of flux now. </b></span></span></i></span></div></div>Dewey's Systemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00138381961849281941noreply@blogger.com9