I've been hearing lately from many of my female friends that they wish they could be doing, or could have done what my ex and I are attempting to do. Our relationship/business model is unique in that we get along well enough most of the time so that we can live together under the same roof and raise our kids together, and we can do that in an open, peaceful, and honest way with them. They know that mom and dad aren't "in-love", are going through a divorce, and they're managing that information very well. The ex and I work together closely as partners in parenting and believe me it isn't an easy task with all girls, and with so many of them. But it's damn worth it.
Perhaps this model works because there is a general interest in hoping that those around us are happy and get their needs met. But it's more than that, its about genuinely wishing that your partner (ex-partner) is happy and seeing that she feels the same way about you. I can literally schedule any outing, or time that I want to go out, socialize, have dates, or go on mini-trips and know that she will take care of the kids while I do the same for her. Recently this has become quite a scheduling exchange. We work together to make sure that we parent first but also that we have equal time outside of the house to pursue whatever we want. It isn't always perfect but fuck, I am very happy about our arrangement. I'm happy that we don't have to be in the closet about it either. Kids know, parents know, grandparents know, and my friends know.
There are of course limitations to this model. We don't own a mansion where we could have guests, or lovers, circulating in and out. We aren't going to have any boyfriend or girlfriend come live with us. But even if we did have such a home, I wouldn't be living that way as a parent, as a role model to my girls. Simply put, there isn't any woman that I would introduce my girls to for a very long time.
Strangely enough, two of my kids who are 11 and 9, are asking me about dating. They are coming to me and telling me to go out and date, to have love. I find that remarkable because they truly want me to be happy and they know that I will always be there for them. They know I won't leave my house no matter how fucktacular some woman might be and leave my kids to be an every other weekend type dad. It just isn't in my DNA. I have to see them daily, they are the love of my life.
So yes, I can date, I can fuck, I can be seeing multiple people at the same time, and I can have a variety of relationships that make life interesting and I can do it all with the help of the person that I fell in love with so long ago. There can be peace, and this model can work. If it were a business model I think more people would be buying.
Have a great weekend everyone