Proposition: Is this one Weird?

Hot blogger friends, I need your answer to this question. Your time is limited so feel free to skip to the last two paragraphs.

Thank you to those that asked me to get back into the HNT spirit. It feels good. In fact I've had a very nice 4 days in a row now. I certainly wouldn't be back in the HNT saddle again if I wasn't feeling more like my happy-go-lucky-self. A huge reason why I am feeling better is because I let wifey know that I was very upset. Wifey and I got into a war of words on Sunday and it was the outlet I needed to get my frustrations off my chest. Not that I condone war, but I wasn't going to take it anymore. Neither of of us won this war, but that didn't matter. I said what needed to be said, even if she didn't want to hear it.

But really, I'm feeling better. I'm loving the on-line teasing, the flirting, and the (completely unrealistic) prospects of meeting some of my on-line crushes. Ok, well maybe not all of them are unrealistic. It's all a part of this crazy virtual world and its got my juices flowing again.

The reason I had to post today is because wifey propositioned me today for the darnedest fucking idea I have ever heard. Is this not twisted in some strange sense? Wifey has her boyfriend (boy-fuck-toy), who's got his ex-wife coming to town to visit for the weekend. Wifey tells me that so and so is coming, whom I've never met, and that the four of us should go out together. She tells me that her boyfriends ex really wants to get laid this weekend and that she's cute. huh? I fucking started to laugh on the phone. Are you kidding? You're setting me up with your boyfriends ex-wife? You're playing matchmaker now? After the yelling, cussing, and all that other heavy shit, you actually care about me getting fucked? I don't know what to make of that? It was just 2 weeks ago that I declared I would not socialize with her anymore. This is turning out like a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode with polymory strings attached. Or not.

Besides, where would we all fuck anyways? He lives in a studio where his roommate sleeps on a couch and I frankly don't ever want to see wifey fucking anyone else ever again. Just don't need to see that. Nor do I want to see boy-toy naked. Now, his ex-wife, that might be different. Any thoughts??

Change is the Only Constant

Yesterday I get a phone call from wifey and Dewey knew in an instant, in that first breath, that there was trouble. Maybe it was the sobbing on her end, the barely able to speak gut wrenching sadness kind of cry. I knew right away that she finally did it, she broke up with her boyfriend. They'd been together for almost 4 months and as I've said before I was so happy for her to have found this guy, and happy for her to fall in love with him. They were a "hot" couple and their energy was so positive.

But alas, their relationship was unhealthy, and she did the brave, courageous thing by walking out on him and leaving him. It took guts, and I commended her, and later I hugged her and offered whatever help I could. But mostly I just listened to her and let her try and sort through her actions, her stance, and her disapproval of his behavior. He has some deep seeded jealousy, possessiveness, and abandonment issues, and whenever he smoked weed, or drank excessively these skeletons leaped out the closet. She decided that enough was enough and that she wouldn't put up with his shit. I commend you wifey, and yes, I do think that if he cared enough about you, about your relationship, that he would put aside some of his habits, and do what it takes to make himself healthier as a human being. (FYI - she doesn't know I blog. No one knows, except you my dear readers/fans/fantasy fucks).

If you find yourself in an open marriage and your spouse gets really attached to someone and then they break-up, you may find yourself in a position where you offer the kind of support, or love, or empathy that you wouldn't have ever thought possible. There's no way in hell that I could have ever thought this scenario possible just 5 years ago, or 10, or 15. Who can predict such interesting dynamics? I discussed this topic with Sexy Sadie and found that she too had experience with it. We agreed that having a spouse there for you, when things do go bad, or when the relationship does end, can be a huge support to that person who's struggling and who may be hurting. I just didn't envision being that kind of person. Wifey thanked me over and over again for my kindness and support and my response was that I knew that she would do the same for me if I was feeling the way she was. I knew she would be there for me, so I chose to be there for her, yesterday, and now.

The last four months Dewey has been supportive and generous in giving wifey plenty of time to explore her relationship and to be with her boyfriend. She was gone maybe two nights out of the week while I was at home being the sole parent. Now however things have changed and the wheels are about to turn in a 180 degree turn.

I met someone recently!!

Yes I fucking did. I met someone right here in my town, and to top it off, the first time that she and I spent good quality time together was at a party where both my wife and her (ex)boyfriend were there. That has been somewhat of a hurdle you know: "Yes, young lady, I would like to date you, and yes, I do have kids, and btw I am married and still live in the same house with my wife". Not too many women find that scenario very attractive, no matter how good looking I may be. But no, not this time, and not with this woman. She knows about the situation and she still wants a piece of me. I'll call her TallChick since she's about 5'10". Oh, she's slim, nice curves, fantastic tits, a nice ass, and she's funny, witty, precocious, adventurous, flirty - all traits I find attractive in a woman. Did I tell you that she has a job too? Ha! Seems like these days thats got to be an attractive quality.

I am ready! I am so ready for a normal, ok, somewhat normal, relationship with a woman where we can do normal couple things, have dates, travel, snuggle, and do all manner of wickedness together. Yes, I've been looking for someone that can I can fuck on a consistent basis and have her close to me. Close emotionally and physically. I've got so much to give, to offer and I'm ready to both give and receive. It was Southern Girl that wrote recently that she was starved for both physical and emotional connection, and I can identify with that. Not having to drive an hour and 1/2 to meet someone just to fuck, who's cheating on their husband has been a hit and miss letdown. Fucking is nice, but fucking someone you care about, whom you have a connection with is more my style.

Last weekend TallChick and I had the privilege of driving around town for 30 minutes and finding every damn hotel room full. Every place said no vacancy. Surely this is how Joseph must have felt when he was carting Mary around and there was "No room in the Inn", except that she's no Virgin Mary, and we were not about to have a baby, thank god!!

Meeting Wife's New Boyfriend Tonight

A week ago wifey tells Dewey that she's got a new boyfriend. Now, I know what you must be thinking, you're thinking that she's announcing that she's leaving me and taking the kids, and starting a new life over again. Well, maybe that announcement will be forthcoming, but right now we have an arrangement. And god damn if I'm not fucking loving it. I get to go out and meet new people, new girls anytime and do whatever I want. Fuck you monogamy. I win.

Truth be told, I have wanted wifey to find someone and find happiness. She hasn't been happy with me, for various reasons, for many years. So right now, we're both equally happy for the other to find what they're looking for. Over the past two years, I've had a few short term relationships, but nothing lasting longer than 3 months. And during all that time we had agreed that we would stick together and live together as a family for our kids sake. Yea, you gotta loves those little ones. I think they do better when they have two parents present and getting along, than with two parents fighting all the time or getting divorced. So we're partners in parenting, for now.

The other day I took down our wedding picture in the master bedroom. I just didn't want to look at that. It was 15 years ago, I don't recognize those people at all. And while I love my wife and exist in this newly developed friendship we have, I also have some sadness for what never fully materialized. In other words, I still mourn for us. It's the classic you can't live with them, can't live without them. So, we're just putting a new spin on that, you can live with them and you will. But I also feel like a giant weight has been lifted. Let this new man provide whatever it is for her that I could never be.

So she told me about him, and while I have seen him, I've never socialized with him or hung out. I told her I wanted to. I suggested it. God damn it, why can't we all be friends? Let's give it a try at least. On a related note, we have had this "open" relationship for about two-three years now. Some people succeed with it, and others don't. But if you have two people that really care about each other and communicate about everything, then why can't more people try and be less conventional and more open minded? The religious people are going to all freak out at this, and conservatives think what they will, but if we can keep jealousy and possessiveness out of it, then maybe it could work, for some of us. Why are we as a society led to believe that we are better off getting married, staying monogamous, and till death do us part? I'm not advocating a nationwide orgy, but I do think we can love more than one person and find things to love about many people at once.

People are bored. I see so many marriages where the spouses are like zombies. They walk around without any passion for life and fantasize about being with someone else. I love the German politicians idea of changing marriage to a short term commitment, at least in the eyes of the government. She was advocating making marriage a 10 year contract between parties and doing away with the old one. That makes a lot of fucking sense to me. The only thing I feel firmly about in this idea, is that if you have kids, you make them the first priority over any partner/lover. My kids do come first and they're emotional well being and security are my highest priority. They don't know a thing about wifey and Dewey. We keep a tight lid on it.

Also I think people would take much better care of themselves, if they had "permission" to date other people. This nations biggest health problem is obesity. I admit that prior to this arrangement I was about 15 lbs. overweight, and when I realized that I could be with other women I got my ass a gym membership and got to work on my bod. Not everyone is going to do that, but others might react that way and lose weight, making themselves more attractive, and cutting the lbs. So reason #112 for open relationships, cut down our nations health care costs. Someone please submit that to congress.

So yes, he's coming over in about 4 hours. He's coming with about 10 other guests so that its not just the three adults there. Will we become friends and all hang out together down the road? It looks hopeful.