Friday, May 15, 2009

Meeting Wife's New Boyfriend Tonight

A week ago wifey tells Dewey that she's got a new boyfriend. Now, I know what you must be thinking, you're thinking that she's announcing that she's leaving me and taking the kids, and starting a new life over again. Well, maybe that announcement will be forthcoming, but right now we have an arrangement. And god damn if I'm not fucking loving it. I get to go out and meet new people, new girls anytime and do whatever I want. Fuck you monogamy. I win.

Truth be told, I have wanted wifey to find someone and find happiness. She hasn't been happy with me, for various reasons, for many years. So right now, we're both equally happy for the other to find what they're looking for. Over the past two years, I've had a few short term relationships, but nothing lasting longer than 3 months. And during all that time we had agreed that we would stick together and live together as a family for our kids sake. Yea, you gotta loves those little ones. I think they do better when they have two parents present and getting along, than with two parents fighting all the time or getting divorced. So we're partners in parenting, for now.

The other day I took down our wedding picture in the master bedroom. I just didn't want to look at that. It was 15 years ago, I don't recognize those people at all. And while I love my wife and exist in this newly developed friendship we have, I also have some sadness for what never fully materialized. In other words, I still mourn for us. It's the classic you can't live with them, can't live without them. So, we're just putting a new spin on that, you can live with them and you will. But I also feel like a giant weight has been lifted. Let this new man provide whatever it is for her that I could never be.

So she told me about him, and while I have seen him, I've never socialized with him or hung out. I told her I wanted to. I suggested it. God damn it, why can't we all be friends? Let's give it a try at least. On a related note, we have had this "open" relationship for about two-three years now. Some people succeed with it, and others don't. But if you have two people that really care about each other and communicate about everything, then why can't more people try and be less conventional and more open minded? The religious people are going to all freak out at this, and conservatives think what they will, but if we can keep jealousy and possessiveness out of it, then maybe it could work, for some of us. Why are we as a society led to believe that we are better off getting married, staying monogamous, and till death do us part? I'm not advocating a nationwide orgy, but I do think we can love more than one person and find things to love about many people at once.

People are bored. I see so many marriages where the spouses are like zombies. They walk around without any passion for life and fantasize about being with someone else. I love the German politicians idea of changing marriage to a short term commitment, at least in the eyes of the government. She was advocating making marriage a 10 year contract between parties and doing away with the old one. That makes a lot of fucking sense to me. The only thing I feel firmly about in this idea, is that if you have kids, you make them the first priority over any partner/lover. My kids do come first and they're emotional well being and security are my highest priority. They don't know a thing about wifey and Dewey. We keep a tight lid on it.

Also I think people would take much better care of themselves, if they had "permission" to date other people. This nations biggest health problem is obesity. I admit that prior to this arrangement I was about 15 lbs. overweight, and when I realized that I could be with other women I got my ass a gym membership and got to work on my bod. Not everyone is going to do that, but others might react that way and lose weight, making themselves more attractive, and cutting the lbs. So reason #112 for open relationships, cut down our nations health care costs. Someone please submit that to congress.

So yes, he's coming over in about 4 hours. He's coming with about 10 other guests so that its not just the three adults there. Will we become friends and all hang out together down the road? It looks hopeful.


Anonymous said...

Dewey, I know this an old post but "Fuck you monogamy. I win" comment got a from the gut explosion of laughter out of me. Love your passion and your positive attitude - so alive. awesome. - E

Sexy PTA Mom said...

I'm going back too, in lieu of new posts from you. I loved that same line Ella did!! You rock!!