Friday, August 28, 2009

Change is the Only Constant

Yesterday I get a phone call from wifey and Dewey knew in an instant, in that first breath, that there was trouble. Maybe it was the sobbing on her end, the barely able to speak gut wrenching sadness kind of cry. I knew right away that she finally did it, she broke up with her boyfriend. They'd been together for almost 4 months and as I've said before I was so happy for her to have found this guy, and happy for her to fall in love with him. They were a "hot" couple and their energy was so positive.

But alas, their relationship was unhealthy, and she did the brave, courageous thing by walking out on him and leaving him. It took guts, and I commended her, and later I hugged her and offered whatever help I could. But mostly I just listened to her and let her try and sort through her actions, her stance, and her disapproval of his behavior. He has some deep seeded jealousy, possessiveness, and abandonment issues, and whenever he smoked weed, or drank excessively these skeletons leaped out the closet. She decided that enough was enough and that she wouldn't put up with his shit. I commend you wifey, and yes, I do think that if he cared enough about you, about your relationship, that he would put aside some of his habits, and do what it takes to make himself healthier as a human being. (FYI - she doesn't know I blog. No one knows, except you my dear readers/fans/fantasy fucks).

If you find yourself in an open marriage and your spouse gets really attached to someone and then they break-up, you may find yourself in a position where you offer the kind of support, or love, or empathy that you wouldn't have ever thought possible. There's no way in hell that I could have ever thought this scenario possible just 5 years ago, or 10, or 15. Who can predict such interesting dynamics? I discussed this topic with Sexy Sadie and found that she too had experience with it. We agreed that having a spouse there for you, when things do go bad, or when the relationship does end, can be a huge support to that person who's struggling and who may be hurting. I just didn't envision being that kind of person. Wifey thanked me over and over again for my kindness and support and my response was that I knew that she would do the same for me if I was feeling the way she was. I knew she would be there for me, so I chose to be there for her, yesterday, and now.

The last four months Dewey has been supportive and generous in giving wifey plenty of time to explore her relationship and to be with her boyfriend. She was gone maybe two nights out of the week while I was at home being the sole parent. Now however things have changed and the wheels are about to turn in a 180 degree turn.

I met someone recently!!

Yes I fucking did. I met someone right here in my town, and to top it off, the first time that she and I spent good quality time together was at a party where both my wife and her (ex)boyfriend were there. That has been somewhat of a hurdle you know: "Yes, young lady, I would like to date you, and yes, I do have kids, and btw I am married and still live in the same house with my wife". Not too many women find that scenario very attractive, no matter how good looking I may be. But no, not this time, and not with this woman. She knows about the situation and she still wants a piece of me. I'll call her TallChick since she's about 5'10". Oh, she's slim, nice curves, fantastic tits, a nice ass, and she's funny, witty, precocious, adventurous, flirty - all traits I find attractive in a woman. Did I tell you that she has a job too? Ha! Seems like these days thats got to be an attractive quality.

I am ready! I am so ready for a normal, ok, somewhat normal, relationship with a woman where we can do normal couple things, have dates, travel, snuggle, and do all manner of wickedness together. Yes, I've been looking for someone that can I can fuck on a consistent basis and have her close to me. Close emotionally and physically. I've got so much to give, to offer and I'm ready to both give and receive. It was Southern Girl that wrote recently that she was starved for both physical and emotional connection, and I can identify with that. Not having to drive an hour and 1/2 to meet someone just to fuck, who's cheating on their husband has been a hit and miss letdown. Fucking is nice, but fucking someone you care about, whom you have a connection with is more my style.

Last weekend TallChick and I had the privilege of driving around town for 30 minutes and finding every damn hotel room full. Every place said no vacancy. Surely this is how Joseph must have felt when he was carting Mary around and there was "No room in the Inn", except that she's no Virgin Mary, and we were not about to have a baby, thank god!!


Anonymous said...

Dewey, why'd you go and tell everyone about us.? (.... I wish...). Seriously so happy for you. Physical and that is hot. Enjoy. xo- E

Anonymous said...

Good for you, my dear. I hope Ms Tallchick is everything you need in a girlfriend!

Cheeks said...

It's really difficult for me to imagine comforting my husband if he had a girlfriend and was upset about their relationship. So it's hard for me to relate to some of this.

But I'm glad the open relationship works for you guys and that you're able to support each other. And finding that connection must be very exciting. :)

Sexy PTA Mom said...

Fingers crossed for you in a big way! I hope she is your someone to fuck and snuggle with. :)

Hubman said...

Sorry to hear about your wifes break-up, even if it does sound like it's for the best in the long run.

And good for you, finding a new playmate! I look forward to hearing more about her!

Lilly said...

I'm on the other side of your situation here - I'm the one who goes out, not the hub. So it is him that has comforted me and he does good. Comforts when I need it, backs off when I need space. I tend to choose space because .... it's weird for me. It is weird for me to let him comfort my broken heart over losing R. I felt that THAT was cheating.
Because the openness allows for friendship and fucking, but not a full-on in-love relationship. What R and I had was VERY complicated, but I was deeply in love with him. Hub didn't know that; if he did, he figured it out on his own and kept quiet. So in my mind, while he comforted me, I felt guilty because I was still keeping a secret.

Glad to hear you found someone. I am desp. in need as well. Perhaps in a few months I'll be ready to look again.

Barefoot Dreamer said...

So proud of your wife. Way to stand up for herself.

also - good for you, since I am off the market, someone had to stand in

Vixen said...

Open marriages that work as well as yours and Sadie's make me gush with admiration bc I think it is SO cool. My husband and I have an open marriage in that I am allowed to see whomever I like and he is allowed to LOL One sided I know, but it works.

I think that is so great you were there for your wife, COULD be there for her, but at the same time, I'm glad she dumped the guy. While it might be hard to see her upset at a relationship being over, I would imagine it would be much more difficult to see her in an unhealthy one.

Congrats on the new gf :)


Gray said...

Oooo the stories that we should get coming soon!! Can't wait. Though I am sorry to hear about your wife's break up. It is hard, not matter what the situation.

Black Pearl said...

It's amazing for me to read these successful open marriage stories of love, redemption, trust, and support.