Working on Those Skills

I haven't tried this approach so its definitely new to me. What I'm talking about is how much interest you show in a girl that you're interested in. I've been working on my technique and I discovered that the less interest I showed, in fact let's call it apathy if you will, the more the woman became interested in me. I was hanging out with this girl on Friday night, and then again on Saturday morning and we talked about our mutual interest in each other. We agreed that I was not the right guy for her and then I continued to make that assessment as the day progressed. I reminded her that I was everything she was not looking for in a man. It was flirtatious, it was even physical, as she kept hitting me to show me how she didn't like my "married" situation. She was hitting me in a playful way, and while it hurt I kind of enjoyed it. I have some bruises to prove it. This woman chased me around the house like a horny desperate housewife. I shrugged her off, I ran, but deep down I wanted to suck her face, and taste the lip ring.

Eventually I moved to a room in this house I was visiting and she finds me an jumps all over me. Not only did I get to taste her lips, and her tongue, but I found some more piercings on her nipples, and I felt like a jovial treasure hunter, having found the jewels. Our make out session got hot and heavy. Her shirt is off, her huge breasts with the nipple rings exposed in my face, and wearing nothing but blue jeans she grabs my hair and I grab her hair. It's getting hot in this room, and the smell of hormones/pheromones could have set off smoke alarms. I grab her pussy, over her jeans and rub her for about 2 minutes. I love that moment when right after a woman reaches orgasm when her whole body shakes, she moves my hand off of her and she collapses in my arms. It's like she just ran a marathon and needs me to hold her up. God, somebody open the windows in here.

I never climaxed. I never asked to nor did I suggest that she do something for me. Everything we did made me happy and I didn't need to have an orgasm. I think she was happy too. The foreplay was amazing and unlike any other that I had experienced. I really need to get out more often.

Ashley Madison

I've been using the Ashley Madison web-site for about one year now. I use it because it's the only site I know of that is the closest to a legitimate site for meeting women that are in a similar situation. That situation is, of course, the sexually frustrated person that enjoys fucking, passion, connection, intimacy, and all of it with a bit of discretion. And we need discretion for a variety of reasons; we are married, and or we have a significant other, or we have kids, and we want to protect those we care about from being hurt by the knowledge that we are pursuing all of those things I just listed, but in no particular order . . . well #1 is #1 and that can't be changed. In case I've lost you I'm talking about fucking.


In all this time, I have not met one woman from the site. No. Not a single pair of tits has come forth from this experiment. Now, I say tits, but women are so much more to me than that. They are the most beautiful creation on this earth, and they smell good. I have had a few relationships that happened outside of the site, so its not looking too pathetic over here in Dewey's part of the world, but new doors just opened up, and new possibilities arrived that have me feverishly messaging the ladies out there and trying to make things happen. I believe that those that do nothing, get nothing, so I've been going out on the town lately, and prospecting on AM. I've come very close to meeting a woman and then she completely abandon me. She stopped writing like she went off the grid or something. I was sad about that because I had worked hard on the email thing for about 6 weeks with her. And then one day, viola, she disappeared.


The AM site has been crazy loaded lately with sugar babies. Single, attractive women looking for that special arrangement that includes the exchange of sex for money, or the equivalent of money. I'm not even joking here when I say that this phenomena of sugar babies is up maybe 100% over the past 4 months. I don't like it, its very annoying. I don't like it because it blurs the reason that I'm even there on AM. I want someone that is in a similar situation, married. I exchanged a note with Riff Dog from Ashley and Me, and he agreed that the situation was getting worse. Yes, the economy stinks right now, and yes more and more people are loosing their jobs everyday. Living yesterday's lifestyle of having it all, and doing very little to get it, is falling part for many people. These women need their rent paid, or they need someone to foot the bill on their next trip to the mall. To be honest, if the economy wasn't the way it was, my salary would be a hell of lot better than it is, and I might even entertain such a relationship with a sugar baby. But it isn't my preference. Sugar babies, get off AM. Please!!


So getting back to the basics, my system, Dewey's Fucking System, is having a little bit of trouble snarling the good catch. I've got to work on the bait, work on my game, I've got to step it up, and I've got to find me a good woman. Let it rain, let it pour. Let the world open up to me. Let the "System" work on its own.

Cool Stuff

Two very cool things to report:

First, a brand new beauty supply store just opened across the hall from where I work.  Its one of those wholesale places that sells to licensed beauticians.  I say its cool because there hasn't been any eye candy in this region for years, and I have already seen one of the girls that works there and she's super hot.  The other reason is that I expect to see many of this towns hotties coming through here to shop there.  Suddenly I am now surrounded by hot girls.  Maybe there is a God?  Maybe?

Secondly, I met wife's boyfriend on Friday night and things went very well.  We also met up yesterday for the Lakers game at a sportsbar in town.  We thought at the moment that it was a crazy scenario because I was enjoying the female crowd at the bar, and shamelessly flirting with the lovely waitress from Thailand.  Crazy because I was doing it while sitting next to the man who is now fucking my wife that I still live with.  We had fun and he was very supportive of my technique.   

Meeting Wife's New Boyfriend Tonight

A week ago wifey tells Dewey that she's got a new boyfriend. Now, I know what you must be thinking, you're thinking that she's announcing that she's leaving me and taking the kids, and starting a new life over again. Well, maybe that announcement will be forthcoming, but right now we have an arrangement. And god damn if I'm not fucking loving it. I get to go out and meet new people, new girls anytime and do whatever I want. Fuck you monogamy. I win.

Truth be told, I have wanted wifey to find someone and find happiness. She hasn't been happy with me, for various reasons, for many years. So right now, we're both equally happy for the other to find what they're looking for. Over the past two years, I've had a few short term relationships, but nothing lasting longer than 3 months. And during all that time we had agreed that we would stick together and live together as a family for our kids sake. Yea, you gotta loves those little ones. I think they do better when they have two parents present and getting along, than with two parents fighting all the time or getting divorced. So we're partners in parenting, for now.

The other day I took down our wedding picture in the master bedroom. I just didn't want to look at that. It was 15 years ago, I don't recognize those people at all. And while I love my wife and exist in this newly developed friendship we have, I also have some sadness for what never fully materialized. In other words, I still mourn for us. It's the classic you can't live with them, can't live without them. So, we're just putting a new spin on that, you can live with them and you will. But I also feel like a giant weight has been lifted. Let this new man provide whatever it is for her that I could never be.

So she told me about him, and while I have seen him, I've never socialized with him or hung out. I told her I wanted to. I suggested it. God damn it, why can't we all be friends? Let's give it a try at least. On a related note, we have had this "open" relationship for about two-three years now. Some people succeed with it, and others don't. But if you have two people that really care about each other and communicate about everything, then why can't more people try and be less conventional and more open minded? The religious people are going to all freak out at this, and conservatives think what they will, but if we can keep jealousy and possessiveness out of it, then maybe it could work, for some of us. Why are we as a society led to believe that we are better off getting married, staying monogamous, and till death do us part? I'm not advocating a nationwide orgy, but I do think we can love more than one person and find things to love about many people at once.

People are bored. I see so many marriages where the spouses are like zombies. They walk around without any passion for life and fantasize about being with someone else. I love the German politicians idea of changing marriage to a short term commitment, at least in the eyes of the government. She was advocating making marriage a 10 year contract between parties and doing away with the old one. That makes a lot of fucking sense to me. The only thing I feel firmly about in this idea, is that if you have kids, you make them the first priority over any partner/lover. My kids do come first and they're emotional well being and security are my highest priority. They don't know a thing about wifey and Dewey. We keep a tight lid on it.

Also I think people would take much better care of themselves, if they had "permission" to date other people. This nations biggest health problem is obesity. I admit that prior to this arrangement I was about 15 lbs. overweight, and when I realized that I could be with other women I got my ass a gym membership and got to work on my bod. Not everyone is going to do that, but others might react that way and lose weight, making themselves more attractive, and cutting the lbs. So reason #112 for open relationships, cut down our nations health care costs. Someone please submit that to congress.

So yes, he's coming over in about 4 hours. He's coming with about 10 other guests so that its not just the three adults there. Will we become friends and all hang out together down the road? It looks hopeful.

And So It Begins

I've been tempting myself to start writing about my passions and frustrations for the past year. Leave it to a few bottles of Stella to get the courage to get started. Hi, I'm Dewey and I like the F word. I like to say it, I like to do it, and I had to have it in my title. As you get to know me you'll find out why I came up with the blog title. It has a variety of meanings. I don't want to just jump right in and explain them because that would spoil it all, and I don't feel like writing any spoiler disclaimers. But really, the sound, the phonetics of the F word, are so pleasing to my ear. I often create new words from the F word. I invite your submissions. My favorite is fucktacular. Why shouldn't something that's fucking spectacular just be called fucktacular?

I'm in my mid 30's but physically feel the best I have ever felt in my whole life. I've been married for 15 years and my marriage is easily the biggest challenge I've ever faced. They say that 1/2 of marriages end in divorce and I say that the other 1/2 are plotting and scheming for one. In other words, I think marriage should not be the "journey" or even the "destination". If it's the journey, then I want off, I want a ticket to go back home. If it's the destination then why does it always look so much more glamorous on television?

I'm not here to bitch about my partner. No, that would be too easy. And in all fairness, she doesn't have her side to tell, right along with my version, on this blog, so I'm going to do what I feel comfortable with - leave the drama out of this. Besides, all you married folks out there know what I'm talking about already. And if you don't, or if you've only been married for a short while, just wait, or just have a few kids and you'll understand where I'm coming from. You may not agree but that's alright.

More introductions - I have kids from my marriage and they alone are the single reason I stay married. However, Dewey and wifey have come up with our own arrangements to navigate this awkward time in our relationship. These arrangements are with the understanding that we want what's best for our children, and that means putting aside our own needs for there's. I firmly believe that kids will do better with two loving parents in the home, and besides, neither wifey or Dewey want to be separated from our kids. So I live, as a married man (filing jointly on taxes/which saves money), yet separated in every way with wifey, yet living together. Make sense? Great. I'm glad you could follow me.

More to come on that arrangement . . . .