Why am I Here?

I've been writing on this blog for about three months and I've gotten a lot more out of it then I had anticipated. This got me to thinking about the kinds of posts I do, and what my motivation for doing them is based upon. There are times when I write very personal stuff here, current events in my life. That alone is the main reason that no one, and I mean NO ONE who knows me, knows that I have this. The anonymity of it makes me feel safe. I think it allows me to express some of my deepest darkest fears and fantasies that I otherwise would never tell people, especially my wife or friends. I've read from many in this blogging community that have spouses, girlfriends, boyfriends, and lovers, reading, and commenting on posts and I'm glad it works for them, I just know that it wouldn't work for me. It would be self-defeating.

Then there are other times that I write because I want to have a journal for my life, a place to visit my past experiences, and my feelings - emotions. Yes, my great fucks. I forget things easily, I forget how amazing some of the people in my life have been and I don't want to. I need a permanent private place to house these memories. This is the place, and yet I still have some of my best stories left untold. They must be told.

There is also this exhibitionist side of me just starting to come out and play. It's not in my nature, because truthfully I am voyeuristic. I love to watch it all, but I have been enjoying the attention I get when I put myself, my pictures, or my stories out there. People have been really supportive and kind and I have tried to show mutual respect when reading about their experiences. I don't share it and stand there all day waiting for comments, but they're nice, they do make me feel like someone gives a damn, and yet I have to remind myself that I'm not doing it for attention, I don't need the attention, or do I? Maybe I am starved for attention? Is that a bad thing?

Then there's the fantasy element of this blog. That element has taken over quite a bit lately. Some people call it erotica, but I like to verbalize what I imagine doing, what I hope to do someday. I want to live a full life, and experience as much as there is to offer. Will it happen? Maybe, but I'm not gonna sit at home on the couch and wait for these fantasies to fulfill themselves because they simply won't. So yes, writing my "future memories" is another reason I've found for having this outlet and I like it a lot. . . a fucking lot!

Finally, I've made some great friends here (you know who you are) and I feel lucky to know you all, and fortunate to have found people living in similar circumstances as mine. Of course my situation is unique, no ones is exactly alike, but what my friends here have given me is empathy, hope, a few laughs, and inspiration to continue my pursuits and dreams. Its been very beneficial to have you all. I sometimes dream that we could all just live on a compound somewhere on an remote island and just fuck the shit out of each other for days, months, years. Get a nice tan, and fuck somewhere underneath a tropical waterfall. Of course I'll need my surfboard, and yes, you can bring your husbands, but please, if you're fucking him underneath that waterfall, can I watch?

HNT: Tied

Tied up or tied down, I don't care. I just want a part of that. Can I tie you up, restrain you, make you my pet, my fuck toy? Can I take all of the control for just a moment? Would you allow that? I'll give it back to you as soon as I'm ready. Then you can tie me up. Tie me up real tight. Tighter.

Come Closer Together

Pussy

When I got married about 14 years ago, I could not eat her pussy. I did, because she asked me to, but I certainly didn't enjoy it. Maybe the taste, the smell, my ridiculously inexperienced sexual self - timid, and unlearned. What transformed me? What changed? It could be that as our marriage went along, call it year 3, or 5, two new little birdies in the house, sex was becoming less and less frequent. Maybe I missed pussy more and in missing it, I overcame my obstacles. Maybe?

Maybe I should just quit this post, announcing boldly to the world that I love pussy. Done! But wait, I still have so much to say, dammit I can't just quit you yet little miss vagina.

What do I like in a pussy? Shaved, waxed, slick, wet, trimmed, aromatically pleasing, tight, not so tight, pink, spread wide open, and so much more. I am exploding with ideas now. I can't quit you pussy, your cuntness is the object of affection.

Smell - I can smell you pussy while we are kissing/touching/petting/groping. In most cases you smell divine. In a few cases, you smell similarly wretched. It's that same smell. I know it when I'm not even face to face with you. What is that? Why do you haunt me? I would love to know if its simply that you didn't care enough to wash before I came over. Maybe its something more than that? Maybe you had your "red-tide" kissing the shores recently and you didn't douche, or didn't stick that shower wand all the way up? Whatever. I am at a loss. Let's forget about you and talk about a pleasant smelling pussy. At times you come with no taste at all. I smell nor taste anything. Interesting . . . and at other times you smell delightful and equally taste magnificent. I love to lick you, to follow your folds, to devour you. But your smell always sets the stage.

Taste - When you taste succulent like this, I could stay there with you all day, all night. When you are waxed and there's no sandpaper affect, I will make it my prerogative to cancel all appointments and give you the attention you deserve. Did you know that I always shave my face before we meet because I want you to not feel my sandpaper on your lips. This added feature is a bonus under certain conditions. This includes but is not limited to this particular position: I'm laying completely on my back. You are sitting on my face and just gliding over me, back and forth. It's a completely smooth ride and you are the captain of it. Rock back and forth, up and down, side to side. Make my mouth your bitch. I want you to suffocate me. Yes, I can barely breathe but hearing you breath louder and louder, and moaning with pleasure gives me so much pleasure. I could die like this. In fact, when you are about to cum, bounce it on my face, cover my chin, my mouth, my nose in your juices and don't let me come up for air. I literally want to go out like this. Let it be said that he died giving the best oral ever in mankind's history. Why not? You could say "I killed him with my pussy officer". He'd understand.

But wait, before you cum I want to flip you onto your back and as I continue this smorgasbord of an all night buffet, I want my fingers to get involved. I'm not cocky. Trust me, but my mouth finger combination is deadly. You will cum. As the suit guy says, "I guarantee it!". Please cum in my mouth.

Ask me what gets me off the most in having you right now. It's not having an orgasm. I like those for sure, but its feeling your clit swelling in my mouth, its tasting your boner. It's having my fingers inside of you and my tongue pressed against your clit that will drive you insane. At the moment you cum, you'll grab my hand and face and kick me off of you because its too intense. This happened last week. I was with you after a nice dinner and we started playing in your car. I went down on you and performed this magic trick to which you came in about 30 seconds. I think that's a record. Holy shit, I guess when performed the way you want it, 30 seconds is all it takes. I'm happy to go longer if needed though.

Then there was that time I was using only my fingers on you, on your pink heaven. You started getting close to reaching orgasm while my whole hand is cupping your cunt and quickly vibrating your beautiful body. Out of nowhere, and without previous training I stated to slap your clit. Not hard, just giving it a little love slap. Your orgasm was beautiful, and I was witness to it. I think you came so hard and you were so sweet afterwards as you laid there and cried in my arms. You said you had never cum like that, or ever felt an orgasm that way. You said it overpowered you and left you with nothing but raw unfiltered emotion. I didn't mind that you cried. I only minded it when you got back on the plane and left.

So yes, I love you pussy. I can't count all the ways. I've had 14 years of training to teach me all about you and its just starting to pay off. Some days you look so different and at times you're covered in just that small amount of silky fabric that drives me crazy. I obsess about you, yes I confess. I can't ever have enough of you. If you would please only ask, I'd be happy to oblige you two or three times a day. I could talk about you endlessly. I truly might just be whipped over you.

Live Porn

It's a friday night, sometime in 2007, and its perfectly warm in this tropical breezy beach town. I'm hanging out with my buddy Mark drinking some beers and shooting pool. Some mutual friends come in to say hello and we meet some of their friends that they brought along. One of them is this very sexy, dark hair, tanned skin, boob-a-licious woman. She's hot!! A gorgeous body with amazing cleavage and a perfect ass. She's flirty and Mark and I are both eyeing her. She's eyeing both of us too. Both of us. We have a few more drinks and then three of us leave for another spot.

We laugh a lot with her and enjoy her company. Her vibe is sexual. She oozes it. At the next location we're standing in front of the bar area, the music is loud, and the atmosphere is perfect. Yes, it's getting hot in here. She's standing in between both of us and lays a kiss on Mark. As she's kissing him, her hand goes under my shirt, on my chest, gripping it and squeezing me. She stops the kiss, takes a sip, and turns toward me. She kisses me and puts one hand on my abs and her other hand on Mark. Is this happening? Is she bold enough to go for both of us together. I'd never done anything remotely like this with Mark, but before you know it she's whisking both of us away into a cab.

There's giggles and more touching.

We arrive at Marks house and in a flash moment he's taking off her pants and I'm removing her top exposing these beautiful plump breasts. As I suck on her nipple, I look down to see Mark fingering her and playing with her pussy. I also see that she's got my jeans unbuttoned and her hand on my stiff cock. Who is this woman? Fuck! Fuck this a hot moment, and I can tell she's totally getting off on it. I learned later that this was her total fantasy come true, a first time threesome with two boys.

Mark puts a condom on and turns her over. She bends down and sucks me while she's getting cock from the other end. I for one think threesomes whether with MFF or FMM are like watching live action porn, and I do love me some porn. I love me some porn while my cock is being sucked. Who doesn't guys? And ladies, would you be opposed to having your cunt licked while watching porn?

HNT: Back to Basics

For those of you with a keen eye, yes, I have two delightful dimples just above my ass. I was thinking during this pose that if you were under me, would you sink your nails into me? - All the the way down my back and then grab my ass forcefully. Pull me into you. Harder.

Yummy

I can't take full credit for this theory since I may have heard this idea in a movie or something. But perhaps I can discuss it here amongst ya'll. Do any of you like to cook? I love it. I sometimes grab a handful of ingredients with no idea how it will blend in the end, but I enjoy the process, and I always enjoy the results.

The theory is basically this: If you can cook in in the kitchen, if you have some creative aspirations, and aren't afraid of the outcome, then quite possibly you might be a good lover, or perhaps a great lover. Is there any connection between cooking and sex? You tell me. It does seem almost parallel the way we describe a great meal and a great lover. Here are some of the similarities: fantastic, insatiable, delicious, juicy, raw, beautiful, sensual, delectable, flavorful, indulgent, luscious, marinate, salty, spicy, succulent, tangy, tantalizing, perfection, natural, sweet, and lastly my favorite - yummy. Please add your own adjectives if I left any out. For those of you that wonder now whether Dewey can cook, let me show the last dish I made. Almond Chicken, and yes it was yummy.

Let me take the theory one step further. Are musicians any better at sex than the average joe? It does take creativity and talent to play music. I don't know. I'd like to think so. Did I tell you I play the drums too. ;)

My Battery Died

The first woman that I met on AM completely rocked my world. We talked for about a month prior to meeting, had an incredible, and I mean unforgettable visit with each other that I outlined here. We have been talking and connecting in a different way since that first and only time that we got together. Had I known it would have been our only time together, I still would have done it, I still would've gone through the vulnerability process, and the uncertainy of what lay ahead.

Too many issues plague the continuation of our relationship, such as her marriage, and our distance. She is simply unavailable. Truth be told, we both tried in vain to end the relationship for the past 2 weeks, yet both of us continued to come back to each other, back to that special place. You know that place? That place where you feel accepted, where you feel admired, where you worship and get worshipped in return, and where the sex (the physical connection) is amazing. She was the perfect girl for Dewey at that time.

I've talked about her before, Mind Fuck, because she truly was someone that in a good way, fucked my brain. I mean that in a very good way. I needed someone like her, and just at that time in my life. I thought about her constantly, I adored her. Yes, we only met once, but we formed a bond together that will last for a long time. I'm hoping someone new comes along in my "local" quest/search to break that bond. I would sincerely like to forget about Mind Fuck.

Our last conversation a week ago was a good one. We spoke for two hours on the phone. As we talked she told me her battery was about to die and I said, good. When its dead and gone, our conversation will be over and so will this thing we have. She sent me one last message in the morning and this is how it read, "My battery died last night right at the perfectly perfect moment and POOF! I took a deep breath and smiled. With a tear... "

Leave My Mark

Most of all my encounters lately have been with married women who are cheating. All of them have the same thing in common. We only get 30 minutes - one hour to play, and you cannot leave any evidence, any marks that you've "been here". FUCK! I'll tell you what I want. What I really want is to leave my mark all over your fucking beautiful body. A slight bruise here from where I gently bit down on you, or the discoloration of your neck from where I sucked it causing the blood vessels to come right to the surface.

I want to lock you up in a room and have all day and all night with you, fucking you in about every position that has ever been attempted. I want to slap to your ass so hard that the neighbors hear it. Yes, its gonna leave a mark, but I want to leave my mark on you. I want you to look in the mirror 3 days after our fuckfest and remember it all.

As you're getting dressed to leave I want to inspect you. Turn around, I want to see all of the places I visited, all of the place "I've been". God, you are so fucking beautiful.

HNT Sweaty Me

You're in one my favorite positions. Your gorgeous sexy body is on all fours. Do you realize how perfect your ass is looking right now? I'm going to slap it. You're facing the bed post and I'm fucking you hard and fast. It's lasting a long time, and its a pleasure for both of us. I'm giving your hair a hard tug, and then I turn your head toward me, to look at me, to connect. You see me. My body is sweaty. Would you taste it? Give it a lick, but get ready because I am about to cum all over your ass, your back. Are you ready yet?

Couples Retreat

Some good stuff here. I think this is going to be funny, and I think a lot of adults, including myself, can identify with some of the themes here. Plus I love Jason Bateman, Vince Vaughn, and Jon Faverau.

In the Beginning

My marriage is a failure. So say many of the people I know, or who I've known, that got a divorce. This describes, in my best guess all divorced couples and a good portion of couples still together. This is Dewey's theory. Monogamy is a bitch. My marriage, on the other hand, has evolved. It is unconventional in most peoples eyes. Some of my critically judgemental friends (just a few of those) think that the way I live is bad for my kids. They think the kids would be better off with separated parents since wife and I don't have a physical relationship at all. But then, some of them admit that they haven't been married as long as me so 'who are they to judge'. And they're right. You can't judge when you haven't lived in my shoes.

Our world into this open relationship began a couple years ago. We had recently come out of a heavy religion, one which consumes your life almost wholeheartedly. I grew up in this religion and missed out on many great experiences. Many!! So we left together and suddenly this whole new world opened up. It started with some nervous communication. We started talking about people that we had crushes on, people we would consider fucking. Those discussions became more like negotiations and we established rules, some of which were very similar to these ones posted by Sadie.

The first time we played together with an outside person was the fulfillment of one of her fantasies. She picked, with my approval, a very good looking young man, law school student. We picked him up and drove him to Vegas. She had met him once before so he wasn't a complete stranger. As I drove the car, he played in the backseat with her. I watched in the rearview mirror with shear pleasure. I could watch people fucking all day and even with my wife straddling this lucky young lad in the backseat I had no feeling of jealousy or possessiveness. I was, and continue to this day, to be happy for her to explore her sexual needs and desires. Its a mutually accepted practice in our marriage. This could only work if both of us wanted the other to be happy. Simple yet real. She's fucking in the backseat, the car is bouncing up and down, and she arches back to kiss me while I keep one eye on the road. It was a defining moment for us.

That trip was an unforgettable weekend. I fucked this woman that we had joining us later. She was a model from Europe, with a thick accent. We all shared a room together and had a perfect orgie of sweaty bodies hot pussies and cocks galore. My first time having two woman together, and so many other things. I knew then that I could get used to this, that I could find my 2nd life here in my mid thirties.

My wife and I had many more adventures together after that first Vegas weekend. Some together and some apart. We continued discussing the rules and things were working out well. At some point our thirst, our attraction for each other faded. We lost the spark. It happens. Some people say that open relationships never last. That's possible. For now, for our kids sake, we'll stay partners in parenting and keep them as our main focus. I think we owe them that.

Am I sad that we fell out of lust for each other? Yes and no. Yes because dreams that I had as a young naïve man are no longer, and no because we are living our lives and we're doing it successfully. I can pursue just about whatever path I want. She's got her boyfriend and perhaps I too will find what I am looking for. Whether it be a miraculous one night stand, or a steady girlfriend. I'm open to anything.