Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Random Ramblings

I hate it when people, or more specifically women  just totally drop out of your life without any explanation.  Be honest and just tell me what's going on.  If you disappear because something happened and didn't have the class, the courtesy just to send me anything, any indication of what's happening, then you've only left me pondering all the what-if's.  I can handle it really.  In fact you could lie to me.  That's better than nothing.  Yes I am a sensitive soul but I can handle the truth.  I know I can because I can tell you the truth.  I am more comfortable now telling someone exactly how I feel then ever before.  Take it or leave it.  I speak what's on my mind and I am a terrible actor.  If I'm not feeling it or if I'm in a  mood you'll know.  It will be easy to spot, like a fake Ashley Madison profile.

Being honest with my partners is the best policy for me.  I am physically and mentally a happier person when I can be myself, put it all out on the table and let the cards fall where they fall.  The only part about my behavior that I have some regret about is that I see married women.  They hide my relationship with me from their husbands.  I totally appreciate their need for discretion and I can empathize with a woman who wants an active sex life and who gets nothing from her husband, but it would be my preference to see women who are seeing other people and  where there is no deception.  Does such a place exist?  Is it on an island, or maybe it only exists in some undiscovered primal tribe living in the jungles of Brazil?

I love it when a woman wants to exchange her body for money.  Well, I like to know that right off the bat before I invest any time into that relationship, because truthfully I think there's something wrong with that arrangement and I've never participated in doing it or ever will.  So thank you ladies who tell us upfront what your motives are because that's how I operate as well and it allows me to move on to the next person quickly.  You need a sugar daddy?  Ok.  You want to shop on his credit card all day and then exchange sexual favors at night?  Have at it, but use someone else's credit card.

To all the women out there that insist on having my attention 24-7, we don't have to text each other every day or send emails or have constant IM chat.  I can't do that.  I don't have the time nor is that the kind of relationship I'm trying to foster.  I want to have sex with you, yes, I want to fuck you and I want it to last a long time, but please I don't want the 6th grade boyfriend/girlfriend thing as well.  Let's be adults about it.  Just because I don't text for a few days doesn't mean I'm not into you.  Sometimes I need a break from it all, or maybe I want to spend a little more time nurturing a certain other person that I'm seeing before I see you.  Just relax, take a deep breathe.  In fact, pull away from me for a while and it will make me want to chase you all the more.  It isn't a game mind you.  I just can't text you 100 times in the day or answer all your emails.  If I could get this one woman to do a blog interview with me, she'd tell you.  She'd tell you that a once a week text, email, with a simple flirty message is all it takes and what I'm the most comfortable with.  We see each other once a month and its always delicious.  We could both take it or leave it.  Shit, why can't you just be more like her?  She loves me, but she doesn't have to shower me with shit-loads of messages to show me.

Finally, I saw you on NYE and I was elated to spend the night with you but as your pants came down, as the moment heated up, I was squarely knocked in the face by your large unkempt forest.  I'm sure someone somewhere has told you that a little shave, a lotta shave, or a wax, can make the world of a difference.  You know you make my job harder when you don't do any maintenance on it?  I'm just asking for an occasional trim.

Ok, and that's it for my random ramblings for the day.  Can you tell that I'm a bit overwhelmed with my system?  Yea, it needs some quick tune ups.


Meagan said...

Dewey I fucking love this LMAO, you da' man! Had she been reading your blog she would of known you don't do the bush thang! Your honesty elates my soul!

Great Post,

Kyra said...

I'd tell you what my motives are, but you're too far away ;)

You do contradict yourself, but only slightly. See, you say go a few days with no contact doesn't mean you're not interested. But, why not just be up front about it and say you'll be out of touch for a while? That way it's certain you aren't pulling the aforementioned disappearing act. Just pondering it.

I like the idea of writing these little rules down (I have my own of course). It makes life so much simpler to be on the same page.

My latest? You don't want to fuck me anymore, or at least for now? Fine by me. Just tell me. You know we're gonna run into each other. We don't need to avoid each other. I'll be fine with it cuz I know where I stand. Just be honest. Trust me, you're not god's gift to women, I'm not in love with you and I'm not mapping out our divorces and future wedding. It's just sex. I can take it if you don't want it anymore, for whatever reason. (Blog hijack over.)

Jae said...

It's not just the womenfolk Dewberry...guys pull the same shit. So rather than ascribe it to a gender--let's leave it with a weak character...a fatal fucking flaw, if you will.

I pretty much say that straight up from jump street when someone has an interest. Doesn't stop them from pulling the Houdini act. You decide I'm not your type (rare, I know...LOL!) I swear on all that is holy I won't be offended. I sure as hell tell a guy if I am not feeling it. Ya know? Why waste all that time?

Again, I am pretty secure in the who that is me--I think it'd be tiring to have to maintain constant contact...and considering I am one of 'those married women' it would knock my not-gonna-get-caught-o-meter right into the red zone. No question. Thank God I don't have that issue to contend with. I'd probably just quit. Eh, no I wouldn't.

Love your randomness Dewey--makes a girl smile every now and again.


p.s.--I thought all women maintained...guess not...bleah.

Petal said...

Im with Jae...men pull that shit too...they just drop out of your life and when you dare to call them on it they dump your ass with no explanation what-so-bloody-ever!

Gosh Im feeling bitter today, do I sound a wee bit bitter? nah didnt think so lol

Sorry for the hi-jack....do get where your coming from tho and totally agree with the downstairs gardening, thought it was a bit of a given really, doesnt everyone at least trim??

Kyra said...

Oh gawd yes, totally agree on a trim. Minimum. Are there women stuck in the 70s out there? Geesh. I can't even stand myself if I'm not trimmed, preferably nearly bare. :)

Gray said...

Looks like we all can agree that the disappearing act is not gender specific *laughs* Poor Dewey, you keep plugging away and it will fall into place.:)

Anonymous said...

OK fuck.....do we "have" to be adults?? I wanna go back to 6th grade - sorta / kinda....please???


Vixen said...

After I've stopped giggling over the 'forest' remark (seriously, that is FUNNY....talk about the ultimate turn off...blech)....

I guess thank you for what you said here:

" I want to have sex with you, yes, I want to fuck you and I want it to last a long time, but please I don't want the 6th grade boyfriend/girlfriend thing as well. Let's be adults about it. Just because I don't text for a few days doesn't mean I'm not into you. "

I SUCK at this. I get too caught up, too involved, expect too much and when it drops or I don't feel as if I'm getting enough 'verification' I start freaking... Call it part of my OCD. Need to work on that about myself.

Great post babe! :) xo

Vixen said...

But how do you/we tell the difference bwtn the 'houdini act' and the 'I can't text you daily' thing?!


Dewey's System said...

Yes, I don't like it when any one of any gender pulls a disappearing act. That comment wasn't meant to target just women, because I know men do the same things, and I've known men in my life who were friends and simply disappeared.

Also I think everyone agrees that honesty in any relationship from the get go is the best policy. Be able to speak it, and be able to take it. I think that's what I was trying to say. :)

Anonymous said...

I am wondering if you are capable of having a conversation such as this in person? One on One? Be it with just a lady friend or a woman you are actually doing the deed with? Because the power of a man expressing how he feels and stating what he wants at the same time is well - intoxicating. I can't help but wonder? Great read as always, E.

Anonymous said...

A little communication letting her know that you are thinking of her (or "beating off" to her), whether it be via text, e-mail or otherwise, does for a woman what a naked pic can do for a man. Can keep her "lubed" before you meet her again. Just saying. I see your point though, moderation should be considered with that sort of thing. Happy Hunting, Dewey! - Mia

Black Pearl said...

Dew - you are THE man! I loved this rambling post!! Fucking without all the 6th grade extras is hilarious not to mention that damn unkempt bush! EWWW! Hubby trims mine for me, and when he's to busy, I'd rather take a hacksaw to it than leave it all bushed out!


T said...

Honesty is YES INDEED the best policy. It hurts sometimes but damn, at least you know then. At least you don't have to worry or wonder...

Great post!

Anonymous said...

I've encountered men similiar to those women in your life. I come across a few good ones every now and then, also catching myself going thru phases where I have to push them away for being too needy then others who almost drop of the face of the earth only to reappear (sp) a few months later out of now where... I just go with what feels right and good at the time.