Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Discovering You - Discovering Me

I've gotten a lot of really good advice lately about my relationship strategy, or my "fucking system".  Some of these personal messages have been long, but really well written and thought out.  At times I ask myself what the fuck did I do to deserve such attention.  I'm not sure, but I gladly accept it.  Thank you for doing that, and thank you for being so honest (you all know who you are).  I've been applying some of that advice.  I'm glad to say that I feel as though its working.  No complaints here.

My 6th AM date is scheduled for this weekend.  It's either date #6 or #7, and it's with someone in my town.  It was a year ago that I had an AM date with someone here locally, and I'm very happy to say that she and I are still close friends.  This new girl and I have been corresponding and it's a lot of the usual, but I've toned down  what I would normally say at this point.  I'm holding back a lot of info which feels great and stirs up more mystery about me.

In talking to this fair maiden, I thought about why people need to cheat, or perhaps, why they have an open marriage, get a divorce, or even why some stay single forever.  It's about discovery.  It's about being discovered, in many ways, over and over again, and it's about being the discoverer.  It isn't just about sex, it's much more than that, and in many cases sex isn't even the best part about it.  Perhaps this is the age old question, " Are we humans meant to be monogamous?"  I'm not going to dive into that though.

To discover someone, and to be discovered is about attraction, and about intimacy.  It's also affection, or simply the touch of another human being.  It can be soft, or sweet, and simple as a kiss.  But it can also be about discovering anew ones body, to find chemistry and passion.  I think this is what drives many married people to boredom.  I said many....not all.  I get bored with routine.  I want something new, I want to discover and be discovered all over again.  This is what I love about all of my experiences.  Surprise me, or give me something unexpected.  It doesn't mean we don't love our primary partners, or take anything away from them but there comes a time when we want something that we don't have, we want to explore, to seduce someone, and/or be seduced by someone else.

Look at all of the great explorers from the past, from our world history.  These guys never discovered one place and just sat there chilling till their deaths.  Discovery and exploration were in their blood.  That's how I feel about my theory.  Are we meant to stay with the same person forever?  (oops, that's not what this post is about).   I want to get chills with that new person, I want my heart to thump loudly, and when we kiss I want it to last forever, but hey, I don't want to settle there in that new town for the rest of my life, I want to go out and get those chills all over again.  

Marco Polo inspired many like Columbus and others in their quests to explore the earth, the world.  I too am inspired as well, by the likes of all of you bloggers to explore my sexual world, to discover new people, new places, and to have new adventures.  I also enjoy being discovered myself.  Shall I leave you a map to my bedroom, and/or a map of my body?  Well there no is map for my body.  Not until you discover it yourself.

"Land Ahoy hot bitches!"  lol


Anonymous said...

I had a conversation with a former lover recently, who told me about his recent reconciliation with his wife. He felt he "owed it to her", that she had always been there for him, and wanted to reward that. When I asked him if he will continue to "cheat", he said yes. He explained that it wasn't "personal", that he was always happy with her in general (except when she start would call every phone number stored in his phone whenever he left his phone around).

He said he loved women too much not to want a new one on occasion. Though I understood the concept from his perspective, I couldn't name it...until now. You called it -- discovery. An epiphany "discovered". Well done!

Anonymous said...

By the way, the title of this blog post was far from lost to me. I quote John Mayer frequently in my everyday language, as well as my blog posts. That was a treat to see another do the same! =]

Gray said...

Mystery.. yes build it. :) You are right, discovery is a great motivating force.

Dewey's System said...

Thanks Mia for pointing out that the title of the blog is a lyric in a John Mayer song. That was purely accidental, but now that I've read those lyrics on-line I can see that it seems appropriate for this post. Maybe I heard the song a long time ago and it somehow it stuck. The brain is a weird thing.

T said...

I love this, Dewey, and I think it is related to my post in some way as well. My bf and I struggle with this idea of discovery of others... we want to continue to enjoy discovering each other and part of that is seeing how we interact with others. But that fear... is SO strong. Perhaps it is too early. Perhaps we still have much to learn about each other before we can go there. Perhaps we'll both be too frightened to ever do it. (Fear be damned!) We both are intrigued and open enough to talk about it and fantasize about it. We've both been in previous relationships that grew stale and do not wish to experience that again.

Who knows. Its all life, lovely and new and waiting to be explored.

sweetsinnergwen said...

How I love the way you write. And I've missed it. Yes, I know exactly how you feel. I think my last post talked about discovery as well. I think any kind of orthodoxy, extremity, is ultimately unproductive. And so I say: everything in moderation. Spouses, lovers, secret blog fantasies :)

Barefoot Dreamer said...

oh you are in my brain again dear man. the ability to have someone so interested in you again. yes that would be fabulous - everything so new. every touch electric. nothing mundane or routine. sigh.... try to do it in a marriage, but it doesn't always work (or doesn't work for more then a few days)

Freckles said...

after reading that I am curious to discouver something new too. thanks for the inspiration. maybe I will blog about it once I find it.

Vixen said...

I have to admit...this part-

to seduce someone, and/or be seduced by someone else

..is the part I crave. Desire. Am addicted to.

Lucky man you are to get so much great advice from so many lovely ladies. ;)

Anonymous said...

Well... I am close to my firstest ever AM meet up ever and I must say the attention has been deliriously fun.