Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Strange Feelings

I started writing this post with the all so familiar terms like, "oh, I've been real busy lately, and haven't had time for posting or commenting on others blogs - blah, blah, blah" and then I realized that it's not that I haven't had time but that I just haven't felt compelled to visit this part of my life. My motivation level has been low lately and lower than I care for. Yes, I've been busy, but my blogging mojo has gotten lost. Here's my rather believable list of reasons why:
1. I've been busy in a new relationship that I'm not sure I want to be in.
2. I've been dealing with a soar throat for a few days and not sleeping very well.
3. I lapsed a little this past week on my toning the drinking down.
4. I've had little to no energy.
5. They closed the gym for a whole week and I really missed/needed it.
6. I've had, or been almost completely responsible for my kids for about a week now and I had them for the whole labor day weekend while wife went away.

So yes, maybe I've been a little bit overwhelmed lately. Certainly I feel at odds about #1 right now. We've started to see each other and yes we did sleep with each other and it was nice but I'm not sure if we should have. I feel very strange about the whole situation and I hate feeling this way. For a while now I've been talking about wanting a real relationship with someone and here, I've got one and I have every reason to be happy because she really likes me and I like her, I'm just hesitant. I'm hesitant for reasons I'll go into later. Suffice it say, I've been in new relationships before and felt a whole lot better about it, or happier but I don't feel those things. She wants to go out of town with me this weekend and I don't know that I want to. I'm not sure about a lot right now.

One thing I do know is that this is a phase, that feeling this crappy will not last forever, and that's something to be grateful for. I'm sorry to my fellow bloggers out there who have been so nice and supportive in leaving comments to me, and I do hope to return the favor shortly.


Barefoot Dreamer said...

ah yes. trust your gut (not the one that hasn't been to the gym...) that inner feeling. YOu are picking on subtle clues - clues you recognize and are denying. You know something isn't right with this girl. Pay attention to your feelings my love. pay attention

mina said...

well I've certainly been here a few times. I've had to pull myself from the blog world. Stopped writing, reading and talking to people. Sometimes you just have to reboot. Nothing wrong with that.

I have to agree with Barefoot Dreamer. There is something there that is just not right with the new girl. I think you should skip the weekend away.

Anonymous said...

Hope things get feeling right, and soon.

Black Pearl said...

We understand! Do whatever it is you need to do to get back to your comfort zone!

Lilly said...

Been there. It'll come back, you'll miss us ;)

Don't go. I'mma be real blunt here and say it straight up. Do not go.

Tell her you need to recoup from the stressful week and going out of town adds stress. Then take a break from her if you are hesitant to end it in one fell swoop.

Just because she's THERE doesn't mean she's RIGHT.

Email me if you need anything...

vanimp said...

Sometimes we need a break, sometimes it's just hard to write, I know that feeling well at times and recently. And yes ... follow your instincts, trust yourself. x

Eva Huntress said...

If you're not feeling it, there is nothing to do. Don't waste your time and hers; there is someone just right for you out there, Dewey, keep on looking.

Don't be a stranger now.

Anonymous said...

Nice thing about blogging it is there to take or leave as you wish.

Dang it I hate that you are down. You will figure it out and stay with the helps!!

Another Suburban Mom said...

Trust your instincts. I also hope you can get back to the gym, the workout seems to give you clarity.

Sexy PTA Mom said...

Everyone gets to feel crappy sometimes!! I do think if you are feeling hesitant, you may have reasons you haven't even discovered yet (I am with Barefoot Dreamer on that). Blogging when caring for kids is tough just on its own. I certainly get too busy (and have too little privacy) to blog much. I have pretty much abandoned my "mommy blog". But it's not worth feeling guilt over. You take care of you and listen to your instincts. You are a smart and intuitive man.

Kimberly said...

Oh babe, I hate the low points and I hope you find your way out.

For my two cents, not worth it to be in a relationship that doesn't feel terrific if you do not have a reason to be.

lifechick said...

Just came across this blog today, and wow, I had to go back and read every last post. Very well written, and fascinating stuff.

I hope that overwhelmed feeling subsides for you soon, and I look forward to reading your future posts.