I started writing this post with the all so familiar terms like, "oh, I've been real busy lately, and haven't had time for posting or commenting on others blogs - blah, blah, blah" and then I realized that it's not that I haven't had time but that I just haven't felt compelled to visit this part of my life. My motivation level has been low lately and lower than I care for. Yes, I've been busy, but my blogging mojo has gotten lost. Here's my rather believable list of reasons why:
1. I've been busy in a new relationship that I'm not sure I want to be in.
2. I've been dealing with a soar throat for a few days and not sleeping very well.
3. I lapsed a little this past week on my toning the drinking down.
4. I've had little to no energy.
5. They closed the gym for a whole week and I really missed/needed it.
6. I've had, or been almost completely responsible for my kids for about a week now and I had them for the whole labor day weekend while wife went away.
So yes, maybe I've been a little bit overwhelmed lately. Certainly I feel at odds about #1 right now. We've started to see each other and yes we did sleep with each other and it was nice but I'm not sure if we should have. I feel very strange about the whole situation and I hate feeling this way. For a while now I've been talking about wanting a real relationship with someone and here, I've got one and I have every reason to be happy because she really likes me and I like her, I'm just hesitant. I'm hesitant for reasons I'll go into later. Suffice it say, I've been in new relationships before and felt a whole lot better about it, or happier but I don't feel those things. She wants to go out of town with me this weekend and I don't know that I want to. I'm not sure about a lot right now.
One thing I do know is that this is a phase, that feeling this crappy will not last forever, and that's something to be grateful for. I'm sorry to my fellow bloggers out there who have been so nice and supportive in leaving comments to me, and I do hope to return the favor shortly.