Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Back to the Drawing Board

AM date #5 proceeded Saturday afternoon and I was anxious in a good way.  Yes, this time I didn't forget to have lunch and I was feeling pretty good.  We met at a coffee shop and talked for a little while.  The conversation was nice.  We've talked a lot on the phone and from email for about 7 months, and we finally were meeting.  Crazy huh?  Investing months of time, with an occasional text or email here or there.  Well much like my last AM date this woman was married and in an open marriage.  So far so good being that I prefer this kind of arrangement/friendship/relationship over a single woman.

We drove to another location and hung out together just talking and getting to know each other.  Was she hot?  Sort of.  When she smiled she was attractive, however from different angles I wasn't at all attracted to her.  All I could think about was "don't settle for someone for whom you are not totally physically attracted to".  I've been posting these kinds of warnings for myself on this blog for sometime now.

She talked a lot and at one point I was thinking that she's really talking too much and not really listening or laughing at my jokes.   Does that matter in the grand scheme of things when I really want to do is maybe fuck her?  Yes, and no, but there has to be both physical chemistry and that mental spark, and both were a little bit lacking.  

So, back to the drawing board where I continue to fantasize about about everything I want in partner and what I'm looking for.  Yes, if this were a movie it would be a lot like Weird Science, where I could design everything, a la carte style, the perfect partner.  Although a little bit of unpredictability is nice too.  How would I design that?  hhmmmm

Where are you woman?  Where are you women who are "attached" but looking for something fun on the side, looking for a friend-with-benefits, or a fuck-buddy?  Where are the women that are in an open marriage in my town?


Barefoot Dreamer said...

Dewey, next time you use a picture of me - please ask first! geez hun!

;) People don't know my qualities literally ooze out of me like that!!!!

Seriously though - patience my young grasshopper. Slow down. Pursuing too hard can back fire. Breath. It is the girl that bumps you while reaching for an apple in the store that when she smiles makes you do a double take - it is the person answering the phone at the chiro office... she is there just wait for the timing while remembering

there is no perfect woman. and all women have hormones and therefore even if they are perfect can't be all the time ;)

Dewey's System said...

BD - I am sorry to have used your likeness in my photo, but I'm not taking it down. hehe

As for patience, and for not pushing hard, I totally agree. Not looking to overly pursue anything, or to back-fire my own love life, but I'm just in one of those moods right now. You know? thank you for your advice. Off to the grocery store and then the chiro office. ;)

Petal said...

errr Hello!

New Zealand!

Oh you meant in your town....listen to wise words of BD, she's one smart cookie that one!

Anonymous said...

Dewey, you are so romantic with all your desires for the perfect woman (loved your model) You really are so charming that it has me wondering about the women who may be hitting on you - the girl at the chiro office - the perfect girl you aren't paying any attention to because you are lost in you own thoughts. Maybe it's time to let the women who cross your path do some of the heavy lifting? xo-E.

Freya Eulalie said...

Aww Poor Dewey. I'm sorry it didn't work out for you this time. Isn't it a bitch when the person you have been talking to, who you think you are totally attracted to for months turns out...well not to be so perfect? This is the downfall of Internet dating often we build up the person so much in our minds that we do sometimes end up terribly disappointed in the end. But we can be lucky sometimes so keep trying!

What you ask for isn't too much to ask in my opinion. Its just hard to find these days. She may not have all the qualities you ask for but eventually you will find someone who catches your eye and your mind and you will revisit this post and go geezz what was I worried about!

This is a perfect example of when life catches you by the balls go with it! Who knows there may be something amazing on the way! i.e. don't be disheartened, there is someone out there for you and this girl just wasn't it!!

Jae said...

Awww Dewey. Sorry hun...you know we all go thru this same stuff...you seem to be the only fellow brave enough to talk about it from the male perspective though. Good to know you're not one of the dogs out there. ~muah!~

Sorry to say, while I am okay with me, and there are others who are also pretty okay with me...sadly I am missing the gorgeous fit body you're requiring...well that, and I am probably out of town....other than those 2 obstacles...I'm damn perfect for ya. ;-)

Chin up hun...keeps your eyes looking out instead of in. She's there.

Emmy said...

The auditioning process is always the hardest and most annoying, I think. Attraction is tricky. And to be honest, thank God it is a needle in a haystack search. If it wasn't, it won't be that special when you find it. :)

Caramella said...

Right here, Dewey... In Australia. Perhaps you could take an Antipodean adventure and meet up with myself and Petal!

I don't feel I'm asking for much within my own open relationship. Someone who looks after himself, a sense of humour, a lovely penis (and who knows how to use it), and a few repeat performances if the initial meeting of flesh goes well. But at the end of the day, it tends to be all frogs and princes.

Vixen said...

Sheesh, you mean you want me to MOVE?! Distance is such a bitch.


I was pretty much going to say what Emmy did before I read her comment. The 'CLICK' is important to me as well, even for just fucking. W/o it it's a no go.

Good luck with your quest! xo

Barefoot Dreamer said...

yes. I know. I push too - and well, what am I pushing for? get it . don't squeeze the melons too hard !

Sexie Sadie~ said...

Ha! Nice diagram, Dewdrop!

Im with BD, I think you have idealized this perfect woman in your mind. I think it's okay to know what you want and what you are looking for, but she can't find you if you are too fixated on what she should and shouldn't be. Loosen up, baby!


Leah said...

Hey Dewey! I started out thinking I was looking for a certain type of person, but experience has led me to realise that I can be attracted to others completely different from the criteria I set out with.

My 'current' guy (known as F) is as far removed from what I wanted. Yet, out of all I've met, he's the one who turns me on like no other. Yes he's TD and H, but not in any classical way. It's his charisma, the sound of his cultured voice, his soft hands, the way he looks at me. It just blows me away (wistful sigh!)

T said...

I love this. I love the idea of listing what you seek. I've also found that sometimes what you seek shows up in ways you'd never expect.

Yes, BREATHE. Have faith. Everything happens in its own time.

Topaz said...

The good thing is that you're on to the next one with no real damage and having the experience to help you forward. That's a plus in my books :-)

Meagan said...

Dewey sorry to say but you've just described me go figure LOL!

On a series note you seem like such a cool dude! And I'm agreeing with some of the comments, take your time my friend and believe that goods things happen for those who wait! After all the person you find has to also impress those beautiful children of yours!

And remember those good old days when people would just meet by chance. I still believe in the magic of meeting, seeing, speaking to someone for the first time. You can't do that in the cyber world, who knows who's picture you're actually looking at?


And thank you for your well wishes!
Shamless flirting you're to funny Dew!!

Black Pearl said...

Hey Dew! Just checking in to see how you're doing!!

Sexy at Forty said...

I ask the same questions as well. For the life of my I cannot find a good looking, SINGLE, guy that is decent enough to have a threesome with! My bf and I look, and we just don't have any luck. I guess it's better to just keep it as a fantasy. lol