How You Doin? (Joey accent)

It's been two years since I've been back to this old place.... the blog.  I never thought I would return here, again.  I'd met that perfect woman, the one that would change it all for me.  And she did.  I didn't want to keep up my online blog while we were dating.  I just didn't care any more.  I had found the one... but here I am now.  Single again.   Life did not turn out like I thought it would and I'm OK with that.  I'm OK.  I miss many of the old friendships that I had found by having the blog, but those people are still friends to me.  Never forgotten. You know who you are.  Holla!

We broke up about 6 weeks ago.  When we broke up we realized that our friendship was really special.  It was something we didn't want to lose.  And so what followed was about a 4 week stretch of seeing each other almost every day and our friendship grew even though our time as a couple was over.  Done.  We're still friends, not the kind with benefits and I'm happy in spite of all of it.

So here I am.  Hey there...how are you?  How you doin?  I'm suddenly single again and wondering what's in store for me in the next chapter of my life.

Hey....

No Translation Necessary

The time was confirmed earlier in the morning.  I would arrive at her place around noon.  I was at a "dentist" appt. and work wouldn't really miss me.  Her front door was cracked.  I quietly inched my way inside, trying not to make my presence known.  She was going to get a surprise.  Once inside her home, I closed the door behind me and undressed myself.  Completely.  I then took a bottle opener and opened a beer.  Naked and holding a beer that I used to cover my penis I walked to her office where she was working alone.  She fell out of her chair and yelled loudly.  It was a cheerful surprise and she embraces me.  She's laughing and enjoying the surprise.

We took light sips of the beer and I got on my knees while she stood in the doorway.  Her tight little pants and her cute panties were instantly off when I didn't hesitate to pull them down.  My tongue squarely in her pussy, her box, and she gasped.  What did I love most about this moment?  Well, what's not to love?  But...for many years, I had to "warm-up" a certain someone before I could go pussy-diving with my tongue.  Not this woman.  My tongue is warming her up and her clit is becoming swollen in a matter of seconds.  That's my kind of woman.  She's warmed up just knowing that I'm coming over.

She lets me eat her without stopping me, without any conditions.  She tastes fantastic.  She let's me bring her to orgasm several times in an hour.  She fucks me and knows exactly how to make me hard again after I've cum.  We fuck some more.  She uses just a little bit of her teeth when my cock is in her mouth and I love it.  She bites my lip when we kiss.  It bleeds a little, and I love it.  A little swallow of beer and I forget about it.

She's wild.  She let's me do whatever I want to her.  I let her do the same and somehow I feel like she speaks my sexual language.  She speaks it fluently.

Royal Treatment

It was our first official date and we were playing pool together in this dive bar where the music was perfect and the beer was delicious.  There wasn't a rush with this woman.  I felt relaxed.  'She likes you Dewey, don't go messing it up, just hang out, be cool, and beat her in this game'.  "8 ball, corner pocket," I say as I carefully and strategically hit the ball hard and win the game.  She says, "wow, that was hot", and follows it up with a kiss.  Our date hasn't been more than 30 minutes and SHE'S kissing ME!  Nice. I've got no complaints.

We leave the dive bar and head out to a nicer wine bar where we can listen to some live music.  She's know the band, knows the members, and knows the words to each song.  She also knows how to drag me out of my comfort zone and on to the dance floor.  Sweaty, hot, fun, and so much more.  I'm digging her blonde hair and blue eyes.  She's attractive... very attractive.

We settle down a bit and move ourselves to a secluded area in the back of the bar where we sit together on a love seat and begin kissing each other.  It's light at first, but like a heavy thunderstorm it moves fast and furious.  Only a few spectators can see, but she doesn't care.  She's straddling me now and our tongues are like a fiery whip cracking loudly.  It's hot! Fuck it's hot.  I'd have to say that for our first date things are going pretty well.  My hand is groping her ass and her fingers are locked in my hair.

We stand up and walk around some more.  Trying to catch our breathe and trying to keep some composure.  'Maintain' I say to myself.  'Maintain'.  Somewhere during that internal conversation I'm holding her hand and I walk her toward an empty back-room in the bar.  Lock the door behind us.  Lights are low and I push her up against the wall, wasting no time in forcing a passionate kiss on her. Hands going crazy, feeling her flesh and eating it up.  She turns me around, and pushes me against the wall.  Bending her knees slightly she unbuckles my pants and takes my zipper down. Choking my cock with her hand she stands back up tall to kiss me again.  My cock in her hand and my tongue in her mouth... again, I've got no complaints.

Kneeling on the ground now she takes me in her mouth.  She's sucking me and blowing me and it feels fantastic.  It's fan-fucking-tastic.  She uses her teeth just slightly and I love it.  Squeezing my balls with just the right amount of pressure she drives me insane.  Cock and balls are getting the royal treatment.  ROYAL!

As much as I love royal....as much I love this treatment I want to taste her.  It's her turn now.  I unzip and unbuckle her.  Pants on the ground.  I can't wait for this.

Show Me Some Skin

Someone asked me tonight to "shut up and show me some skin."  Ok, here you go young lady.  

Such Good Photography

Yes... fuck yes!  "You've got me captured. I'm under your spell. No way you can stop me now... as fine as you are".  I found myself singing these lyrics today and then realized that I needed to post this song. One of my favorites from Van Halen.



Van Halen - I'll Wait

Lyrics:

You've got me captured
I'm under your spell
I guess I'll never learn
I have your picture
Yes I know it well
Another page is turned

Are you for real?
It's so hard to tell
From just a magazine (blog)
Yeah, you just smile and the picture sells
Look what that does to me

Lyrics continued.....

Have a great weekend everyone!  Wherever you may be and wherever you may be traveling to.  Safe travels.

I'm Done

I'm officially quiting.  Hanging up the hat, and leaving for good.  I started this blog with the intent of working on my Ashley Madison skills and hoping to procure new ones.  There was also this faint hope of meeting other women who are bloggers and using AM.  Maybe, I thought, I would have a better chance meeting my type of woman who was using that site if she could see more of me, more of my personality than what AM allows for.  You may recall that I was using that site for a long time and had just a few experiences that kept me going back to it.  Most of the time it was a lot of fucking wasted time.

In the meantime, the blog gave so much more than I could have imagined.  You, my blog crushes, and the few men who stay in touch gave me so many ideas and inspired me to pursue what I've always wanted, whatever that want was.  And what I want now has nothing to do with AM anymore.

Ohhh, what... what  did you think I meant?  I'm not qutting blogging I'm quiting AM, for good.

I've emailed Mr. Riff Dog to see if he wants my credits.  He deserves them.  What an amazing writer and flair that man has.   ashleyandme  I thought to myself, if I could write as half as good as him that I might enjoy blogging.  So thanks Riff.

I don't need Ashley Madison anymore.  It's just not my thing .  It hasn't been now for a while.  The last time I met someone from there I had to end it before it even got started really because suddenly I felt like I wasn't being truthful about my current situation.  Yes, I told her I was married, but no, I didn't tell her that divorce papers were filed.  You see, there's an underlying theme to AM and one which I don't want anything more to do with: cheating and lying.  Mind you, I never cheated on my wife, or have cheated on a partner in which I was in a monogamous relationship with.  But, most of the people I was meeting were cheating and that doesn't feel right to me now.  My preference is more for a totally honest/open approach to sex, and to relationships.  

Goodbye AM.  Of course the blog continues.  How could I close down the fountain of inspiration that pours through?

Just a Bite?

I don't normally eat desserts at all  as they are too sweet and I am cautious of my sugar intake.  Over the past four years I've come to really look upon desserts as something I am not interested in at all.  Seriously, you can bake brownies, or cookies, or cakes and I won't even look at it.  It took a lot of restraint and self control but I trained myself to stay away from sugar.  Until now...

Your cake is the most enticing thing I have seen in a long long time.  The smell has me positively intoxicated from head to toe.  But why? Why can't I have my cake and eat it too?  It looks and sounds so fucking delicious.  I don't know who came up with that saying or why, but it applies now more than any other time.  I want to start with just smelling the cake, slowly inhaling the icing, the flour, the sugar, and the flavors.  It smells fucktacular.  My nose is right up in it, and I can't help but lick it and to sneak a taste.

Yes, you're right, I can't do that because I can't eat it, but eating it is all I desire.  Maybe I can have a bite someday.... maybe one day, sooner than later.

Shoulder

I posted a while ago that I was frustrated by a couple injuries that I had, that were preventing me from exercising.  Well I am happy to say that with time, they got better, and my shoulder is feeling superb.  Would love for you to feel it.  If I were on top of you would you feel my chest and work your way up to my shoulders with your hands?  I invite you to.

Instant Gratification

You stand before me by the bed looking intense, with purpose.  Your body, your pose is seduction, defining it with your femininity.  You want something, and yet you also look vulnerable.  It's alluring, the combination, the contrast of  purpose and risk written on your face.  Although . . . it's not really risky, because truly how could I turn you down?  Ever.  How could I reject you looking like the divine heavenly/earthly creature that you are.   It's impossible, it would go against all laws of nature.

I see you.... wearing your black silky panties inviting me to worship that which I already worship more than any religion or deity.  Your skin, milky white, like satin, so smooth and creamy.  Your eyes are deep blue, and your hair is the same color as your panties.  This look is biologically and chemically attractive.  My brain cannot deny it.  My pheromones shout it out.  My cock feels an instant warmth in just the site of you. Yes, it's more than alive.

Walking without hesitation toward you, our lips connects.  Eyes in deep connection. As we stand facing each other my hand reaches forward and slides underneath your silk and into your other lips feeling your hot cunt with my fingers.  I slide my fingers very gently on your lower lips while biting your upper lips with my teeth.  You gasp.  You moan.  It's too much too quick, but you asked for it, and I feel the gentle release of your warm lubricant on my fingers, as your cunt spills its delicious sweet sex.  We continue to stand facing each other.  My cock is at full strength, and my fingers sliding between the folds of your wet pussy.

Unbutton my jeans.  Don't tease me!  This is instant gratification and I want your gratifying hand on my cock.  Squeeze me.  Listen to me moan as we continue to kiss each other.  My fingers work to elicit your juices and I began to push upward toward you, finding the inside walls of your pussy.  Don't!  Don't move.  I am fucking you now furiously with my hand gratifying that insatiable urge your cunt feels for touch, for fuck.  The only acceptable movement is your hand stroking my cock vigorously.  Up and down, faster, faster, grip it harder.  I lean in toward your chest, targeting that succulent nipple and I suck.  Hard.  One hand fucking you the other hand holding the back of your curly dark hair tight.  Holding your head exactly where I want it, I see that you are about to cum.

How else may I gratify you lover?

Funny and Hot - The Deadly Combo

A woman that can make me laugh and who is attractive is the double knock out for me.  Often times I meet someone who is wicked funny but whom I am not attracted to. Or I meet someone is deadly hot and has no sense of humor.  Rachel Feinstein, whom I have never met, is both funny and very attractive.  I wanted to share her latest you-tube video which I thought you all might get a kick out of. You may have seen her on comedy central or last comic standing.

Grab My Ass

Click my ass


She's waiting in traffic, texting me, telling me that she needs me and needs me now. I tell her to come upstairs when she gets here, and that I'll be waiting for her. I wait, wait in these striped pants, and when she gets here she takes them off instantly. Now I'm on top of her and she grabs my ass, feeding her nails into it. It hurts but it feels so good. Fuck! "Fuck me she says." Say it louder.

I Cheated

I had a hotel date very recently.  It was my 2nd time to meet this woman. The backdrop for our getting together was practically written for me, right out of my own blog, out of my own fantasies.  This woman and I met nearly 6 months ago but didn't really hit it off.  I was curious though.  On that interesting night we went out as a group together, leaving the hotel and partying till late at night.  My date for that night was already established and I had no less than a good time, but I was curious what was happening in the other room next door with this girl.  She had me curious.  She's stunningly beautiful.  Fast forward to this past weekend, and the circumstances couldn't have been better. Here she is with me and she wants nothing more than a friend with benefits, a fuck buddy.  This, among other things was exactly what I was open for.

Before we met, we exchanged a few emails.  Both describing to each other why we wanted this kind of relationship and what the rules were.  I even came up with a "safe-word" that either one of could say if we thought the other was crossing the line.  She understood exactly what my situation was and promised me not to get clingy, or emotionally attached to me.  And vice versa.  It was a fairly easy discussion, and she admitted that she did not want to get involved with someone right now.  She wanted to get her life back on track, to take care of herself and not get caught up with someone while also acknowledging my need to not have to take care of another persons emotional needs now since I am already loaded in that department. It was almost like a business transaction, sprinkled with lust and passion.

We met, had dinner and wine, and chit chatted about things.  Nothing too deep, just small talk, and then off to the hotel.  Candles lit, music playing, and before you knew it we were kneeling on the bed facing each other and kissing.  Good kissing.....just right, hands exploring each other.  She undid my belt buckle and seemed to take pleasure in slowly unbuttoning my pants.  I watched her with eagerness and anticipation as her hands pulled my pants down then traveling over my underwear to find my cock, squeezing it and teasing me.  Underwear off, all of my clothes off and my cock in her mouth -  I am on my knees leaning back using one hand to hold me up on the bed as I enjoy the moment.  She took her time, not rushing it but just enjoying my member.  One hand squeezing the base of my cock, the other hand intermittently massaging my balls.  She had good technic ;).  Not great, but good.

Our fuckfest lasted for a good 10 hours, intermixed with a little bit of sleep here and there.  How does that happen and where did I get my mojo to keep it up for that long?  Well I cheated.  I took a Levitra pill before we got to the room.  Booking a hotel date happens once or twice a year and I wanted it to be spectacular.  I wanted it to last, and last it did.  Unfortunately for her, it did.  I came three separate times.  Apparently it took her 3 full days before she could  feel normal again, because I evidently bruised her cunt with the marathon episode.  For that I'm kind of sorry.  What does that feel like to walk around for 3 days feeling sore in your pussy?  I don't know. But is it wrong to sneak a Levitra in on a fuck-date, where you know that all you are doing is fucking?  She seemed to really enjoy it at the moment but didn't care so much for the after affects.

One final footnote --Ladies....I cannot for the life of me understand how I attract a woman who does not want me to go down on her !?!?  This is almost a joke.  When I tried to go there with her she pulled me back up and wouldn't let me? I almost stopped to ask, "Really, you read my blog...?  You've read how this has happened to me more often in the past year than I care to quantify?  Why don't YOU want me to do down on you?  I've heard a few reasons, but regardless, I wish you could just lay down spread em and let me have at it."  Ok, I didn't say that of course, but I was thinking it.  Or maybe I was thinking that she just needs to sit on my face and let go of whatever emotional or physical block she had built.  Anyhow, I can't complain too much.  She had exactly the body I have been craving.  And now I crave it just a little bit more.

HNT - It's All in Your Technic

I really didn't think I'd see myself here again on HNT but you just never know.  Here's to having proper technic.  When it comes to women, a man can always work on it.

It's June 2010

Today is like any other day.  It's June, and summer is just unfolding.  The date is a bit strange.  I hadn't really thought about it too much other than two things.  First, today was the anniversary of my marriage that is in the final stages of dissolution.  I'm ok with that.  I'm more than ok.  In fact it's really time for me to stop talking about it, except for the fact that she lives down the hall from me.  We do interact like roommates in a well oiled machine to make the moving parts of our family continue along.  We are still family, and my former spouse now plays the role that's a little bit like a sister-in-law.  Does that make any sense?  Well, maybe what I meant is a sister-in-law that you used to have sex with.  Ahhh, just forget it.

The other thing that happened on this date was exactly a year ago I had  the best one-time fuck fest I've ever had.  You may have already read about that.  I still think about this woman and that indelible mark she left in my history book of greatest fucks ever.  It was a one time thing to never be repeated.  It was a mind-fuck of sorts.  So yea, that happened exactly a year ago today.   And yes, it happened before divorce was an answer, and with my former spouses knowledge.  If you could have read her text to me that morning just before my tryst, you'd know that I couldn't hate this woman (my ex).  She supported me having fun like that.  She still does.

So what?  Or, now what?  I haven't felt much like blogging lately.  My sexual adventures, my system is stalling a bit.  Earlier this week a blogger and I exchanged emails about what I could or should do now.  Perhaps that was more like the blogger told me to stop looking and just enjoy life.  To just "be".  Looking for what you might ask? Well, looking for something that I haven't had or felt for a really long time.  Looking for love.  I know . . . this conjures up some country music song.  That's kind of what the blog has been about.  Some of my posts have been about sex, and purely sex, or about relationships, but I want to have something special with that one person.  Maybe that's monogamy talking, maybe in my fantasies its more of a polyamorous thing, but shit, you have to start at least with one person, and this isn't just about fucking.  Sex is part of it, but this runs deeper.

The blogger posed a question to me. "Do you have to date?".  And the answer I gave is yes.  I want love.  Is that so shameful to admit, or say.  But for now, the quest to find love is freaking elusive.  Some suggest stop looking all together and love will find you.  Some suggest, at the very least to not be desperate, and to not appear too available.  I concur with both.  Others say don't reveal very much about yourself.   Let there be mystery about yourself.  Be enigmatic.  That has actually been some of the best dating advice ever.  But alas, my experiences have led me to believe thus far that 80% of women are not interested in any kind of a relationship with a man who lives in the same house with his former spouse and kids.  It's like I'm unavailable or something?  Which is totally true . . . . and I'm not moving out, though at times my former spouse drives me to this type of fantasy.  But yet, I am also capable of showing, giving, having a normal committed relationship with a woman.  So far the other 20% I've found that are OK with it, are single, and are single for some very clear reasons.  Reasons that I don't find attractive.

What pisses me off though is that I don't want advice that says to just let it go, to just be, or just stop searching, or some variation of that.  Dammit I'm a man, we men hunt, and we pursue, and I won't just give up looking.  I am not getting any younger.  I feel like time is not kind to people who are alone, or feel alone.  If you're a woman, perhaps it's impossible to understand what I'm feeling, on many levels.  Increase your testosterone hormones and live with your ex down the hall.  Maybe then you'd be able to empathize better.  If you're a  man, then you're probably thinking to yourself, "dude, you got to get out of that house".  I hear that, but for now, I choose to see my kids daily.  So maybe that's a trade-off I have to live and deal with.  I would choose my kids over anything or anyone else.  But can I have both?

Please whatever you do, don't give me encouraging advice.  I will be alright.  I don't need encouragement or support, I just want to vent what's on my mind.  I would like to to find someone who shakes up my world and stabilizes it all at the same time.  Someone who knows that my situation is somewhat temporary but yet is willing to ride that ride with me not knowing exactly where it goes or how it will end.  It's unconventional for sure, but it doesn't mean I can't offer that special someone a good ride.

.

Have I Learned Anything from Blogging?

I started blogging a year ago.

*quick celebration*

party, dance, toast, and adjourn

What thoughts do I share in my one year anniversary?  What deep dark secrets do I confess?  Simple:  Can we as a society get off this bandwagon that says relationships have to last forever?  That's it!  That's all I have to ask.  Meaningful, full, committed relationships can have an expiration date and that can be ok.  Yes.... it can.  "To have and to hold till death do you part" -- be damned.

Marriage is an institution that is outdated.  The tradition began so long ago that I can't even fathom that kind of timeline.  It's a tradition that is no longer necessary for what it was started for.  What I can fathom is that I would love to walk up to woman who takes my breath away and say to her, "You and I have something special, we have a connection.  We can learn from each other, we can take from each other and give.  We can and should laugh together.  Let's travel together, let's soak each other up and embrace this next chapter in our lives together... but let's do it with the notion that our time together will most likely come to an end.  Our journey may be long, or it may be short, but let's enjoy this ride wherever it takes us and let's be realistic (in an optimistic way).  We may come to the realization that at some point, our relationship will have completed itself.  Let's be ok with that."

I know that was a mouthful.  These aren't literally words I would use, but the concept is real for me.  The concept is also powerful, and what I would like people to understand is that I believe we can learn and grow from a variety of people, from new relationships, and from new experiences.  This is one reason why I support, to some extent, open marriages, and polyamory.  It's also why I think people cheat. It's not just about sex.

My parents taught me that marriage was for time and all eternity.  They were examples of this kind of life-long monogamy that I am dubious about.  They believe that once they both die that they will be reunited in some heavenly sphere that will bind them together for forever.  They are not alone as many faith believing people hold onto to these ideas.  I once believed the same thing.  The idea of that now scares the shit out me.  The same person, for eternity?  And you call that heaven God?  I'd say that's closer to a living hell.

Getting married is not for me most likely ever again, but not because I am afraid of commitment.  I like commitment.  I prefer it over the months and months of dating and meeting new woman.  But I am a realist.  The words that I used to describe what I would want with this woman are exactly the kinds of ideas that I wish we as a society would embrace.  I don't need marriage to prove my love, to prove my commitment because my actions will speak louder than that damn piece of paper or ring on her finger.

Now.... let's get back to laughing together.  That was my favorite part....