I'm Done

I'm officially quiting.  Hanging up the hat, and leaving for good.  I started this blog with the intent of working on my Ashley Madison skills and hoping to procure new ones.  There was also this faint hope of meeting other women who are bloggers and using AM.  Maybe, I thought, I would have a better chance meeting my type of woman who was using that site if she could see more of me, more of my personality than what AM allows for.  You may recall that I was using that site for a long time and had just a few experiences that kept me going back to it.  Most of the time it was a lot of fucking wasted time.

In the meantime, the blog gave so much more than I could have imagined.  You, my blog crushes, and the few men who stay in touch gave me so many ideas and inspired me to pursue what I've always wanted, whatever that want was.  And what I want now has nothing to do with AM anymore.

Ohhh, what... what  did you think I meant?  I'm not qutting blogging I'm quiting AM, for good.

I've emailed Mr. Riff Dog to see if he wants my credits.  He deserves them.  What an amazing writer and flair that man has.   ashleyandme  I thought to myself, if I could write as half as good as him that I might enjoy blogging.  So thanks Riff.

I don't need Ashley Madison anymore.  It's just not my thing .  It hasn't been now for a while.  The last time I met someone from there I had to end it before it even got started really because suddenly I felt like I wasn't being truthful about my current situation.  Yes, I told her I was married, but no, I didn't tell her that divorce papers were filed.  You see, there's an underlying theme to AM and one which I don't want anything more to do with: cheating and lying.  Mind you, I never cheated on my wife, or have cheated on a partner in which I was in a monogamous relationship with.  But, most of the people I was meeting were cheating and that doesn't feel right to me now.  My preference is more for a totally honest/open approach to sex, and to relationships.  

Goodbye AM.  Of course the blog continues.  How could I close down the fountain of inspiration that pours through?

Discovering You - Discovering Me

I've gotten a lot of really good advice lately about my relationship strategy, or my "fucking system".  Some of these personal messages have been long, but really well written and thought out.  At times I ask myself what the fuck did I do to deserve such attention.  I'm not sure, but I gladly accept it.  Thank you for doing that, and thank you for being so honest (you all know who you are).  I've been applying some of that advice.  I'm glad to say that I feel as though its working.  No complaints here.

My 6th AM date is scheduled for this weekend.  It's either date #6 or #7, and it's with someone in my town.  It was a year ago that I had an AM date with someone here locally, and I'm very happy to say that she and I are still close friends.  This new girl and I have been corresponding and it's a lot of the usual, but I've toned down  what I would normally say at this point.  I'm holding back a lot of info which feels great and stirs up more mystery about me.

In talking to this fair maiden, I thought about why people need to cheat, or perhaps, why they have an open marriage, get a divorce, or even why some stay single forever.  It's about discovery.  It's about being discovered, in many ways, over and over again, and it's about being the discoverer.  It isn't just about sex, it's much more than that, and in many cases sex isn't even the best part about it.  Perhaps this is the age old question, " Are we humans meant to be monogamous?"  I'm not going to dive into that though.

To discover someone, and to be discovered is about attraction, and about intimacy.  It's also affection, or simply the touch of another human being.  It can be soft, or sweet, and simple as a kiss.  But it can also be about discovering anew ones body, to find chemistry and passion.  I think this is what drives many married people to boredom.  I said many....not all.  I get bored with routine.  I want something new, I want to discover and be discovered all over again.  This is what I love about all of my experiences.  Surprise me, or give me something unexpected.  It doesn't mean we don't love our primary partners, or take anything away from them but there comes a time when we want something that we don't have, we want to explore, to seduce someone, and/or be seduced by someone else.

Look at all of the great explorers from the past, from our world history.  These guys never discovered one place and just sat there chilling till their deaths.  Discovery and exploration were in their blood.  That's how I feel about my theory.  Are we meant to stay with the same person forever?  (oops, that's not what this post is about).   I want to get chills with that new person, I want my heart to thump loudly, and when we kiss I want it to last forever, but hey, I don't want to settle there in that new town for the rest of my life, I want to go out and get those chills all over again.  

Marco Polo inspired many like Columbus and others in their quests to explore the earth, the world.  I too am inspired as well, by the likes of all of you bloggers to explore my sexual world, to discover new people, new places, and to have new adventures.  I also enjoy being discovered myself.  Shall I leave you a map to my bedroom, and/or a map of my body?  Well there no is map for my body.  Not until you discover it yourself.

"Land Ahoy hot bitches!"  lol

Don't Forget Your Lunch Dewey

I met someone from the AM site last week.  This was the 4th person I've met from the site ever and the 3rd from LA.  It is becoming very clear at least to me that the kind of women to use that web-site is a very rare bird indeed and there are so few sightings of that bird in my neck of the woods that I have to make a 90 minute trip just to see it.  I don't mind that at all.  Especially when that bird is as beautiful, as perfect, as sensual, colorful, as the one I met last Friday at a coffee shop.  She came with a gorgeous flower in her hair.


Because these sightings for me are rare, I try to put my best foot forward, hope that there's chemistry and maybe some sparks will fly.  The verdict was in fairly soon.  There were no sparks.  There was no flirting.  There was great conversation, and I was attracted to this woman, but I was not completely there.  You see I hadn't really shown up for the meeting. I was physically there and mentally aloof.  I realized when we said goodbye after having a walk around a beautiful park that I wasn't going to see her again.  And that felt bad, and it felt worse because I knew I needed something, I needed something to help me be more of myself.  I was fidgety, I was nervous, so I thought.  After we said goodbye, I sat in my car, and it hit me.  'Dumb-ass, you didn't eat anything all day.  You had a health bar for breakfast and it's now 5pm.  No fucking kidding.'  Yes, I had a 'a ha' moment there as I sped to a restaurant to pick up some food.  I was starving and it certainly impacted my impression.  Lesson learned.


Here are some fast AM facts:  I've met four women from the site.  I know.  Only four.  The first one was from my town, and is the one I still see on an on-going basis.  She is the sweetest thing.  It's literally perfect.  We might not see each other for a month, or text but once every two weeks, but we adore each other.  If they could only all just be like her.  The 2nd woman I met was that very same week last spring.  There was a lot of conversation building up to that meeting and when it finally happened, it was the sparks that you could just die for.  It occurred in a hotel room, and it was amazing.  I haven't seen her again.   The third person I met was last summer.  That meeting was strange.  She had her kids in the other room and they could have come walking in on us at any minute.  Bad fucking parenting.  No, we didn't do anything.  And then the 4th was last week.


I have since wrote to her, the 4th, and she was very very nice.  She, of course, liked me, thought I was cute, but thought of me as really sweet, as a friend.  NOOOOO!  No guy wants to hear that.  That's code for "you aint ever getting into these panties".  Ha!  Ok, well a good friend reminded me not to beat myself up for it all, and so I'm going to stop flogging myself and get back to reality.


Sabrina will be here all weekend.  I'll probably see her once.  Our last time together was a month ago and I enjoyed it.  She was one of my first from 20 years ago.  Not technically my first, but close enough.  She is married.  I haven't yet written about that date from last month.


I'm flirting with another woman here in town who's very cute, and I'm digging her because she knows my situation, my baggage, my red flags, and she's able to see through all of that.  Oh did I tell you how cute she was?  A very attractive body.  I mean fully attractive.


Now if I can just remember everything that everyone has shared with me about the do's and don'ts, the what to say and the what not to say.  Riff, Southern Girl, Mia, Ella, Jae, and all you others, can you all just hang out in my car outside while I schmooze her?  I'll set you up in the mini-van and everyone can be comfortable as you all guide me into relationship success, that is, if Riff can keep his hands off of you for just the 30 minutes that I need to seal the deal.  Ear piece...check.  Microphone...check.  Full tummy...check.  Wits about you...check.

What's Up With You Dewey?

I haven't talked much recently about where my head is at and what I've been up to. Some of you have been asking about me and I appreciate that. This Dewey has not been himself lately although that's not a bad thing its just that things are different now. I've been talking to wifey about getting a divorce, although we both will continue to stay in the house to raise the kids and I feel positive about that, about going through with that. It will be like a giant weight lifted and all my friends and family will know more about what's going on in my life. I'd like my parents to know for one thing. They'll know the real me just a little bit better. Most importantly my kids will know that mom and dad are not modeling a "normal" relationship. It's tricky and will require special attention to their emotional needs. Believe me when I say that my kids are the highest priority.

As for me? What trouble have I been into? Just a little bit. I'm still messing around with Tall Chick and although she understands that I can't have, or deal with, a real relationship at present, she has subtle expectations and has obvious hopes for something more which is a huge turn off for me. Managing expectations, or hopes, for anyone else is tricky and yet it shouldn't have to be. I laid out my case for what I was/am capable of and frankly a fuck-buddy is about it. She pushes the boundaries though and I tend to get freaked by it. Then she backs off. It's a stupid little game we play.

But the game, as much as I enjoy fucking, has got to end. I'm simply not that attracted to her. This is a huge problem for me. It's lifelong. I tend to settle for relationships or people, even when I'm not attracted. How lame is it, or how lame am I that this woman is always complementing me, telling me how "beautiful I am", or how my "eyes are gorgeous" and I can't reciprocate back. I just try and be polite.

She's even tossing around the "I love you's" but with this disclaimer that its more like "I love to be with you". Ughh. Ehh. Eww. Yuck. Not wanting that with her. She knows it too. I've told her. I'm not hiding anything from her, although I haven't come right out and said that I'm really not that attracted to you. Anyways, I have to end it (again) and soon. It's just getting lame and wearing me down.

I miss a little bit of who I was before I met her. Yes, I was searching for a partner, and possibly someone that would be more than a fuck-buddy but she's not it. She isn't what I'm looking for, and to be honest, I'm kind over searching for someone anyways. Its a cross between lack of libido, troubling financial times, and a pending divorce, so yea, my plate is full and I need to get rid of the things that are weighing me down.

I've spent a lot of time on my blog describing various sexual positions or attributes of partners that I've had and most of it has been in a positive light. What I'm currently troubled by with Tall Chick is just strange to me. So here it goes:
1. She doesn't let anything near her pussy except my cock. She won't let me go down on her. I guess her vagina accepts cock but does not take my mouth. She said it was something to do with feeling close to me, like if we were more connected then she'd let me go down on her? WTF? This is not the first time I've heard this. Some women aren't comfortable letting a man go down on them until they feel more "attached" to that man. Why? What the hell? You undoubtedly love to give me blow jobs but I insist on eating your pussy so why do you have to lock your legs like that? I love pussy. I get it that some women don't let men go down on them at all. I met one of you one time. Fine, you thinks its gross, but those of you that wait to give VIP access based upon your emotional needs being fulfilled are an enigma to me.
2. The sex is just OK. It isn't anything exciting. She has a nice body but adventurous she is not.
3. She likes to talk during sex and a lot afterwards. In fact she likes to talk all the time. When she opens her mouth I'm reminded of the YouTube video of the girl (baby) that can't stop talking. It's a crack up. I actually hear the baby while Tall-Chick is talking. That's gotta be a bad sign.

So I need to end it once and for all. I'd even rather go back to that damn old bitch Ashley Madison just to engage in the occasional NSA attached encounters. Yes, I miss those and I miss feeling sexually charged, invigorated. I miss wanting to go to the gym and feeling motivated to work out. I go sporadically but I'm not going consistently. I miss enjoying coming to my blog and posting about stuff. I miss thinking about things like Hot Blogger Island.

If you feel inspired to leave me a comment, possibly you could remind me that I'm going to end it once and for all and move on. That would be encouraging. Thanks for reading this far and for being such a supportive community.

**Update - as of two hours from writing this post I officially ended it with Tall Chick and now I'll be thinking about returning to my normal self, my normally scheduled programming**

Romancing the Dewey

I miss something. I miss romance. It can take so many forms. The last time I tasted it was New Years Eve 2008. I went to a party and I knew that my girlfriend at the time would be there, and that I had to find her in this fucking huge mansion. Walking through the maze of halls and stairs, I finally found Miss Korea. South Korea to be exact. She was such an interesting woman - the artistic kind with head shaved, a beautiful smile, and a nice body. She was great in bed, but outside of the bedroom I found that it was difficult to connect with her.

I see her in a hallway, dressed in a beautiful red dress, but she looked at me almost like she was pissed about something, and as I approached her she pulls me into her and lays an enormous kiss on me. She was sincerely seducing me at that moment. It was a great beginning to a very romantic, elegant night. Perhaps the last time I felt very sincere romance. We danced, partied with friends, drank some alcohol, and kissed all night long. We ended the night in her bedroom and I felt like it really was a romantic moment. I enjoy that, the getting dressed up, the seduction, the sincere passion. Why is that so hard to find now? It's not on Craigslist and its not on Ashley Madison, nor is it with my wife. Yes, I enjoy sex, but I miss the romance.

Nice to Fuck Your Acquaintance

I had my first AM meet-n-greet this last week. To say that it was extraordinary wouldn't even cover it. I'm going to try and find the words to describe my experience and connection I had with "mind-fuck", but it's not going to be easy. This meeting took place in her town, and I had the room reserved. She arrived at my room and said that she only had 10 minutes, but that she would have more time later the next morning. Well, 10 minutes is better than no time at all, even though it doesn't give me the kind of time that I wanted to express myself and have a good hard pounding fuck.

She comes into the room, with a huge smile on her face, a bit mischievous, and sexy. I think she was nervous. Later she told me she almost got cold feet, but apparently she was warm enough to walk her way out of the car into my room. She smiles at me, and we literally lunged toward each other, like raw uninhibited animals, just clawing at each other. I picked her up as our lips and tongues are locked and hold her legs and ass with my hands/arms and pin her to the wall. I'm not normally strong enough to pick a woman up but the adrenaline was pumping and god damn it if I couldn't pick ten of her up at that moment.

She's up against the wall in my arms. We're still clothed, but my cock is rubbing up against her. She looked hot, just gorgeous hot. She's a "better in person than on pictures" person. Maybe because I hadn't seen much in the way of pictures. Her eyes are beaming. They say fuck me now, but I can't. I can't fuck this woman in 10 minutes. Well sure, I could have but it's not how I imagined my first time with her would be. So what does a man do that's only got a few minutes to play? He has insane-intense foreplay. He sucks, he grabs, he pulls, he licks, and he kisses like its the last time he's ever going to see this girl. I throw her on the bed. I pull her pants down unveiling the white laced panties he had promised her he would devour with his mouth. That promise was more like, if you wear those panties, I will lick your pussy while they are still on. I will lick those lips as I push your panties from one side to the other, teasing your clit with my hot breathe. And then when you're not expecting it I will dive my tongue into your pussy and fuck you with my tongue. I proceed. It's hot, she's delicious and wet. I tongue fucked her and then move my way up for her clit. My tongue circling it, and taking its time, my fingers crawling inside her pussy. I can literally feel her clit swelling in my mouth. It's huge. It's hard. She's moaning and grabbing my hair with her hands.

I've been told my specialty is giving a woman an oral orgasm. I have good rhythm when it comes to finger and mouth. They are a team. I lick her clit with tongue and massage the inside of her pussy with my fingers. She's unbuttoning my jeans and clawing for my hard rock cock. She wants to squeeze it while I'm working her. I had no idea what time it was, but it flew by, and she sat up and promised me she would be back the next day. We're both trying to catch our breathe and just stare at each other as if to say, "I would want nothing more than to fuck your acquaintance. I wish we could stay here, on this bed all night."

So do you want to know if she comes backs for more the next morning? I think you know the answer to that. More to come on the next post.

Ashley Madison

I've been using the Ashley Madison web-site for about one year now. I use it because it's the only site I know of that is the closest to a legitimate site for meeting women that are in a similar situation. That situation is, of course, the sexually frustrated person that enjoys fucking, passion, connection, intimacy, and all of it with a bit of discretion. And we need discretion for a variety of reasons; we are married, and or we have a significant other, or we have kids, and we want to protect those we care about from being hurt by the knowledge that we are pursuing all of those things I just listed, but in no particular order . . . well #1 is #1 and that can't be changed. In case I've lost you I'm talking about fucking.


In all this time, I have not met one woman from the site. No. Not a single pair of tits has come forth from this experiment. Now, I say tits, but women are so much more to me than that. They are the most beautiful creation on this earth, and they smell good. I have had a few relationships that happened outside of the site, so its not looking too pathetic over here in Dewey's part of the world, but new doors just opened up, and new possibilities arrived that have me feverishly messaging the ladies out there and trying to make things happen. I believe that those that do nothing, get nothing, so I've been going out on the town lately, and prospecting on AM. I've come very close to meeting a woman and then she completely abandon me. She stopped writing like she went off the grid or something. I was sad about that because I had worked hard on the email thing for about 6 weeks with her. And then one day, viola, she disappeared.


The AM site has been crazy loaded lately with sugar babies. Single, attractive women looking for that special arrangement that includes the exchange of sex for money, or the equivalent of money. I'm not even joking here when I say that this phenomena of sugar babies is up maybe 100% over the past 4 months. I don't like it, its very annoying. I don't like it because it blurs the reason that I'm even there on AM. I want someone that is in a similar situation, married. I exchanged a note with Riff Dog from Ashley and Me, and he agreed that the situation was getting worse. Yes, the economy stinks right now, and yes more and more people are loosing their jobs everyday. Living yesterday's lifestyle of having it all, and doing very little to get it, is falling part for many people. These women need their rent paid, or they need someone to foot the bill on their next trip to the mall. To be honest, if the economy wasn't the way it was, my salary would be a hell of lot better than it is, and I might even entertain such a relationship with a sugar baby. But it isn't my preference. Sugar babies, get off AM. Please!!


So getting back to the basics, my system, Dewey's Fucking System, is having a little bit of trouble snarling the good catch. I've got to work on the bait, work on my game, I've got to step it up, and I've got to find me a good woman. Let it rain, let it pour. Let the world open up to me. Let the "System" work on its own.