Who Are You People?

I've gotten some really amazing comments from my posts recently.  Some of you, many of you, leave me comments that I find fascinating, and insightful.  It's like getting advice, but not just advice from a friend, but from multiple friends that know more about you than your real every day friends.  Strange how that works.  I've also gotten some emails from people that I don't know, but that write in this tiny little blogging community.  People read my blog, take time to write me offering personal suggestions and advice on how I can find the things that I'm looking for, that I want out of my life.  How fucking awesome is that?!?!  For these and many of your great comments lately I just want to say thank you.  I appreciate everyone of you who's stopped by and offered your thoughts.  They have really helped me to get perspective. I can literally float a question out there in this forum and have 10 fantastic answers within 24 hours.

I've been sick since Sunday night, but I just got some mojo back and I'm trying to stop by all of your blogs and return the favor.  In the meantime.  Please accept this cheesy sign as a small token of my gratitude.

Don't Forget Your Lunch Dewey

I met someone from the AM site last week.  This was the 4th person I've met from the site ever and the 3rd from LA.  It is becoming very clear at least to me that the kind of women to use that web-site is a very rare bird indeed and there are so few sightings of that bird in my neck of the woods that I have to make a 90 minute trip just to see it.  I don't mind that at all.  Especially when that bird is as beautiful, as perfect, as sensual, colorful, as the one I met last Friday at a coffee shop.  She came with a gorgeous flower in her hair.


Because these sightings for me are rare, I try to put my best foot forward, hope that there's chemistry and maybe some sparks will fly.  The verdict was in fairly soon.  There were no sparks.  There was no flirting.  There was great conversation, and I was attracted to this woman, but I was not completely there.  You see I hadn't really shown up for the meeting. I was physically there and mentally aloof.  I realized when we said goodbye after having a walk around a beautiful park that I wasn't going to see her again.  And that felt bad, and it felt worse because I knew I needed something, I needed something to help me be more of myself.  I was fidgety, I was nervous, so I thought.  After we said goodbye, I sat in my car, and it hit me.  'Dumb-ass, you didn't eat anything all day.  You had a health bar for breakfast and it's now 5pm.  No fucking kidding.'  Yes, I had a 'a ha' moment there as I sped to a restaurant to pick up some food.  I was starving and it certainly impacted my impression.  Lesson learned.


Here are some fast AM facts:  I've met four women from the site.  I know.  Only four.  The first one was from my town, and is the one I still see on an on-going basis.  She is the sweetest thing.  It's literally perfect.  We might not see each other for a month, or text but once every two weeks, but we adore each other.  If they could only all just be like her.  The 2nd woman I met was that very same week last spring.  There was a lot of conversation building up to that meeting and when it finally happened, it was the sparks that you could just die for.  It occurred in a hotel room, and it was amazing.  I haven't seen her again.   The third person I met was last summer.  That meeting was strange.  She had her kids in the other room and they could have come walking in on us at any minute.  Bad fucking parenting.  No, we didn't do anything.  And then the 4th was last week.


I have since wrote to her, the 4th, and she was very very nice.  She, of course, liked me, thought I was cute, but thought of me as really sweet, as a friend.  NOOOOO!  No guy wants to hear that.  That's code for "you aint ever getting into these panties".  Ha!  Ok, well a good friend reminded me not to beat myself up for it all, and so I'm going to stop flogging myself and get back to reality.


Sabrina will be here all weekend.  I'll probably see her once.  Our last time together was a month ago and I enjoyed it.  She was one of my first from 20 years ago.  Not technically my first, but close enough.  She is married.  I haven't yet written about that date from last month.


I'm flirting with another woman here in town who's very cute, and I'm digging her because she knows my situation, my baggage, my red flags, and she's able to see through all of that.  Oh did I tell you how cute she was?  A very attractive body.  I mean fully attractive.


Now if I can just remember everything that everyone has shared with me about the do's and don'ts, the what to say and the what not to say.  Riff, Southern Girl, Mia, Ella, Jae, and all you others, can you all just hang out in my car outside while I schmooze her?  I'll set you up in the mini-van and everyone can be comfortable as you all guide me into relationship success, that is, if Riff can keep his hands off of you for just the 30 minutes that I need to seal the deal.  Ear piece...check.  Microphone...check.  Full tummy...check.  Wits about you...check.

I keep Sucking in the Wrong Women

This will be my last post for a while focused on or dedicated to the concept of understanding the opposite sex, because as much as I like to think I "get it" we all know that it's an impossible notion.  We can just try our best and learn from our mistakes.

A blogger caught my attention recently with her rather honest, sassy, yet skeptical approach to men, more specifically the men from AM.  There's a confidence to her writing, to her wit, that suggests that she is not only smart, hilariously funny, but very sexy in real life.  None of this has been confirmed but what I can say is that there was for me an instant feeling of comfortability in sharing with her what I considered to be my most intimate of personal or personality flaws.  In revealing some truths to her, I learned a few things about myself, about women, and about what I can do to avoid the kinds of women that I've been meeting/attracting. Below is a recap of this exchange between myself and the very talented, funny Mia.  I confessed some rather personal stuff and now feel it makes sense here to share what those thoughts were:

Me:
I have a tendency to suck women in. I talk a lot, and very openly. It's maybe almost a feminine trait perhaps. I am honest, somewhat charming, and a sensitive guy. I'm a nice guy. I try to be upfront with women and then after we have sex, I'm somewhat less interested in them, unless I find them ultra attractive, and that hasn't happened for a while. Yes. . . I have a thing about settling for less than total attraction too. So I'll see a woman, have sex, and then put some walls up afterwards. I'll be like, "you know I see other people right?" You know I'm not looking for a relationship right?" In a lot of cases after the sex is boring or I'm totally turned off my something, say a stinky vagina, or bad breath or both, I simply don't really want to see them anymore. Why can't there just be a code that says 'sex was just so-so, and you're really not what I'm looking for . . . can we still be friends?'  :)  Ok, that's harsh, but I set myself up in many cases for this kind of a disaster. 


I've had a couple issues with woman who right after we sleep together go fucking crazy on my facebook, and leave a gazillion messages or comments, and or texts to me. Their behavior changes, and I don't like it.  I try to manage expectations and I don't do a good job with it. This happened with that Sabrina girl. I got so overwhelmed, even scared by her "love-intensity" after our weekend together that I almost shut down from her. I did for about a day. I couldn't talk to her, and tell her that I simply needed her to chill and not act any different than before we had sex. This happened with another girl about 3 weeks ago. She started pouring on the attention after sex and ughhhhhh. I think it's something I'm doing. I think i need to talk to these women less, to just be a lot more chill and let things happen. I am very fearful about someone whom I'm only partially attracted to 'falling for me'. It's happened like 3 times this past month. One of them I just totally had to boot.

Wow - that was intense . . . Mia kindly and politely offered some stellar advice.

Mia:
You do have game Dewey, and I'm wondering if perhaps the problem lies in how you "play" pre-coitus.


What you've just described was a scenario that many of my guy friends have relayed to me. What I've come to understand about situations like this is that the guy is convinced that he is really in love/turned on by the woman he is pursuing (feelings are indeed genuine), he starts to "worship" her with words of adoration, even going as far as talking or eluding to having a future with her. These are the sort of acts that can cause a "vulnerable" woman to become emotionally connected, and in some cases, like yours, dependent on the guy, resulting in getting her to open herself up to a guy sexually. Then as soon as they "get some", they want the girl to get "the fuck away from them." The "fruit has been tasted" and one finds that it tastes like any other fruit, and so the attention/adoration abruptly stops, leaving the woman hurt, and in some unfortunate cases, go "bat-shit". Sex is a powerful emotional tool for women, they often can't detach emotions from sex, which is one of the most unfair aspects of our nature in general, and probably one of our greatest achilles' heel.


You've mentioned before about feeling bad about seeing attached women, but that may be a safety net for you right now. Single women, no matter what they tell you, will eventually want to "nest", whether they plan on feeling that way or not (and given your personality type, the likelihood of that happening is high). [It's a primal, evolutionary drive to propogate the human species, as well as attaching oneself to a sole "protector" of their offspring]. Attached women can adjust to the limits of an arrangement like the one you described. That doesn't mean you may not come across a single woman who's life is so full she doesn't attach her worth to "belonging" to someone. Not always entirely out of the realm of possibility.


Have you noticed a personality/behavior pattern among the women who've had trouble detaching from you? You may want to start watching for that in others in the future.


You may be doing this already, but it may be helpful to let them know that you can't, absolutely CAN'T proceed with a sexual relationship with them unless they understand that you are seeing other people, and agree to be okay with you not contacting them as often as you like. Let them know that you are not intending to be disrespectful at all, you just need physical contact and play but absolutely cannot commit to one person EVER (don't ever give a timeline, because that will open a vulnerable person up to a possibility that you may move it sooner if you find something "special" about them).


You seem like you mean well and want to do that right thing in your approach to your relationships/arrangements. Try not to beat yourself over it if you are, you'll figure it out over time, really.

I found a lot of jems in Mia's response to me.  Very specifially the being absolutely clear advice in terms of not proceeding in a 'sexual relationship with them unless they understand that you are seeing other people, and agree to be ok with you not contacting them as often as you like'.  Yes!  An area that I need help with. The following is my response

Me:
Huge huge huge for me. I am not doing this well enough. I just scratch the surface of it. It needs to be a rehearsed or prepared message that I give before having sex, before going down that path with someone that I am "fully attracted" to. I think this, along with sticking to attached women, are exactly right. This is kind of what blew me away about your analysis of me, or your advice for me. Amazing.


Yes, avoiding personality types that get attached easily, or who may be vulnerable because "Bat-shit" aint pretty.


I appreciated this dialog with Mia and having a strangers perspective on the matter.  She offered me direct advice that made sense and that I plan to use. Now it's time to stop the analysis and have some fun!  Lookout weekend cuz here I come.

Banning Marriages for People Who Don't Love Each Other

Random Ramblings

I hate it when people, or more specifically women  just totally drop out of your life without any explanation.  Be honest and just tell me what's going on.  If you disappear because something happened and didn't have the class, the courtesy just to send me anything, any indication of what's happening, then you've only left me pondering all the what-if's.  I can handle it really.  In fact you could lie to me.  That's better than nothing.  Yes I am a sensitive soul but I can handle the truth.  I know I can because I can tell you the truth.  I am more comfortable now telling someone exactly how I feel then ever before.  Take it or leave it.  I speak what's on my mind and I am a terrible actor.  If I'm not feeling it or if I'm in a  mood you'll know.  It will be easy to spot, like a fake Ashley Madison profile.

Being honest with my partners is the best policy for me.  I am physically and mentally a happier person when I can be myself, put it all out on the table and let the cards fall where they fall.  The only part about my behavior that I have some regret about is that I see married women.  They hide my relationship with me from their husbands.  I totally appreciate their need for discretion and I can empathize with a woman who wants an active sex life and who gets nothing from her husband, but it would be my preference to see women who are seeing other people and  where there is no deception.  Does such a place exist?  Is it on an island, or maybe it only exists in some undiscovered primal tribe living in the jungles of Brazil?

I love it when a woman wants to exchange her body for money.  Well, I like to know that right off the bat before I invest any time into that relationship, because truthfully I think there's something wrong with that arrangement and I've never participated in doing it or ever will.  So thank you ladies who tell us upfront what your motives are because that's how I operate as well and it allows me to move on to the next person quickly.  You need a sugar daddy?  Ok.  You want to shop on his credit card all day and then exchange sexual favors at night?  Have at it, but use someone else's credit card.

To all the women out there that insist on having my attention 24-7, we don't have to text each other every day or send emails or have constant IM chat.  I can't do that.  I don't have the time nor is that the kind of relationship I'm trying to foster.  I want to have sex with you, yes, I want to fuck you and I want it to last a long time, but please I don't want the 6th grade boyfriend/girlfriend thing as well.  Let's be adults about it.  Just because I don't text for a few days doesn't mean I'm not into you.  Sometimes I need a break from it all, or maybe I want to spend a little more time nurturing a certain other person that I'm seeing before I see you.  Just relax, take a deep breathe.  In fact, pull away from me for a while and it will make me want to chase you all the more.  It isn't a game mind you.  I just can't text you 100 times in the day or answer all your emails.  If I could get this one woman to do a blog interview with me, she'd tell you.  She'd tell you that a once a week text, email, with a simple flirty message is all it takes and what I'm the most comfortable with.  We see each other once a month and its always delicious.  We could both take it or leave it.  Shit, why can't you just be more like her?  She loves me, but she doesn't have to shower me with shit-loads of messages to show me.

Finally, I saw you on NYE and I was elated to spend the night with you but as your pants came down, as the moment heated up, I was squarely knocked in the face by your large unkempt forest.  I'm sure someone somewhere has told you that a little shave, a lotta shave, or a wax, can make the world of a difference.  You know you make my job harder when you don't do any maintenance on it?  I'm just asking for an occasional trim.

Ok, and that's it for my random ramblings for the day.  Can you tell that I'm a bit overwhelmed with my system?  Yea, it needs some quick tune ups.

The Look of Love

First off some quick facts:

I am starting to show more gray hairs than ever before and I am thrilled that so many have complimented that look on men in generally and especially on me.  Now down to business.  I am occasionally seeing the first person I met on AM.  She is a great friend, lives close to me and we exchange adorations for each other that are perfectly comfortable for me.  Love me, but  without any strings attached, or just love to be with me and I will love to be with you.  It's just so easy with her.  A perfect relationship.  After telling her that I was hesitant to meet up the other night, that I wasn't 'feeling it' so to speak, she writes back and offers to 'knock some sex into me'.  Now that is utterly resistible.

I had a very nice weekend with Sabrina and that may be another post, or not.  We plan on seeing each other again.

The last person I made any real contact with on AM was in August.   We have been exchanging messages since August and still haven't met.  Can you believe that?  We both want to but it's not been easy, although we just had our first conversation today on the phone and I think we will meet in February.  That's 1/2 year of waiting and patience should have its virtues.  I am talking with some various women that live close to me, but who aren't attached.  I hesitate to pursue something with any of them only because I am not wanting a typical relationship . . .

What do I want right now?  I'm not sure exactly what that looks like.  At times I'm better at describing what it doesn't look like, but I'm going to try and describe what is an ever changing look of love.

What does the look of love for Dewey look like?  For me that look is:

• an open minded female
• trust/honesty/respect
• polyamory - multiple people, multiple partners, fidelity among partners, expanding love, infinite love
• a woman who shares my same attitudes about monogamy  - who wants to just be with me and enjoy the moment, however long that moment lasts
• on-going open communication
• a woman that can take it or leave it, and by it, I mean "me" - so yes, the commitment to the relationship is less important than the relationship itself.  
• women with children, most likely because they understand the commitment I have to my kids and respect that
• someone who wants to have fun, to play, and to fuck, and explore that with me
• total physical attraction

What it doesn't look like to me:

• possessiveness, jealousy, drama, games, secrets, monogamy, needy, and attention seeking 
• insecurities, hidden motives - objectives, with strings attached
• a materialistic woman looking for benefits above and beyond my company
• a constant partner whom I share a bed with and sleep with - 'yes, it's my preference that you get up and go now . . . it's 2am and I need to get some "real" sleep'
• partial physical attraction

At the moment I would say that what I have enjoyed more recently is the relationship high, the endorphins, the energy from a new partner, from the exchange with a new partner, and from the mutual attraction.  But don't get that confused ladies with some romantic notion that I want to marry you, have a vasectomy reversal and give you babies.  Those day are done.  And so I go about it various ways - testing someone to find out how they would fit on the look of love.  It's the testing that has gotten me into a bit of trouble because I need to use better skills or a better approach in the discovery process.  What I do is build walls.  I build certain walls and then wait to see what their reaction is.  It's part of a process where I attempt to put all my cards out on the table and then see where they fall, but the building walls has not been very effective.

In my last post I talked about the NSA woman that I had to dump.  I told her to stop messaging me, texting, and calling.  She was trying to climb up over every single wall and I was trying to shoot her down.  I would tell her what I was looking for, basically everything in both columns, and she would agree, but then act like I never said those things.  This woman liked me, and I mean really liked me.  It was too much.  And I found that unattractive.  If you do all the chasing and tell me how hard it is to find people you connect with, until you found me, and then you act as though you really want a traditional relationship with me, it's going to turn me off quickly.

My look of love has it's limits.  More likely than not I think that human relationships come to an end some for better and some for worse.  Yes that rights, I think all relationships have some sort of an expiration date.  There will come a time when you're in love and then something will change.  Perhaps that change is due to boredom, or perhaps for something far more serious.  It doesn't mean that one shouldn't engage in relationships or strive for love but I'd like to see people lower their expectations of what marriage or what a partner can do for them.  I am not a fan of the fairy-tale love stories or of the institution of marriage.  Not only do I think it doesn't work but it places too much emphasis on how your partner will be the joy that you were missing, or "complete you".  Humans are complete on their own, and I don't think we need the romantic Disney notion that love is forever or of 'till death do you part'.  Let's be realistic and just enjoy the ride, enjoy it for however long it lasts.  Just my opinion and just how I perceive the world.  Thank you for coming along this ride with me.

Update: Some of the comments are asking me about a conflict in my bullet points and I wanted to add this to just clarify my thoughts.  On the surface they look opposed to each other.  You can't be monogamous and polyamorous at the same time.  I know. I meant that when she's with me, she's really with me.  That she's into me and that as we're together she embraces me and we have fun, that we exploit that moment together.  But also that she doesn't count on me being something more than that.  Or being a person that wants more from her. . . that she doesn't want a monogamous full time commitment to "us".   I like polyamory as a concept, but I've never lived it or seen it done successfully for a long time.  I don't know if I would ever practice it but I look at it as an alternative to monogamy.  The thing to is that while I like polyamory I also like many of the things that come from monogamy as well, and I suppose, depending on what day of the week we were talking, I might explore another monogamous relationship if the right person came along.  I'm not so close minded that I wouldn't consider it.  SO yea, you are seeing conflicting impluses or desires from me, because I am in a state of flux now. 

No Strings Attached

I posted recently about how the Facebook doors had opened and a floodgate of women had surfaced giving me some newfound joy.  I was delighted that I could be myself with them, even explaining that I was not interested in having a monogamous relationship and that I was seeing other people.  So far so good right?  Everyone on board?  Perfect . . . until it isn't perfect.

Well one of them was ok with it until things got worse.  I started noticing odd things about her behavior that caused me to think that ultimately she would try to "win" my heart over even though my heart isn't up for sale.    In the very short time span of three weeks we fucked quite often and enjoyed it but spent more time managing expectations about what I would or wouldn't be interested in.  In the end, I knew that if she hoped for something more than what  I wanted, that we would not be a good match.   Better in the end to say good bye to someone whom the NSA attached really meant something else.  A fuck-buddy is after all just a fuck-buddy even when you like them outside of the bedroom.

It wasn't easy though.  I did like her. She was by all accounts someone I could connect to and laugh with.  A little crass, sassy, confident, nice body, and very funny.  Yes, I like these characteristics.  And the funny thing about her confidence was that I wasn't fully attracted to her physically.  Really, I wasn't, but she would talk about her looks, or her body in a very different way that I was used to.  She never talked about insecurities with herself, as she was very confident in who she was.  Perhaps that was a little intimidating to me, but really, it made me forget how I wasn't fully attracted to her.  Strange how that works?  At least for me.  We would exchange messages, via text, or email, and she had it going on in the funny department and we definitely connected, and that made having to break it off with her all that much harder.

I'm glad I did call it off.  She fought with me tooth and nail to keep giving her a try.  It all seemed very needy of her and I don't do needy at all.  Crying on the phone, cussing, telling me how great I was, and how hard it is to find people that you really connect with.  Frankly, as much as I liked her, I didn't want to go down the "let's see where this could go" path.  A take or leave it approach to Dewey would have kept us going, and would've made me feel a lot of better about continuing in our relationship because really I don't want any strings attached at all for now.  None.  At least none that surface within the first two weeks of a relationship.  She was needy about my time also.  If I say I have to go, because my kids need me at the moment and you're still trying to talk to me, ignoring me, then you don't get it.

Ultimately I want love in my life, I just don't see having that with one person, and one person only at one single time.  Yes, I might have been open to the notion of romance with her, or maybe love, but only within a way that makes sense and to me a monogamous relationship, even in a very early stage is this last thing on my mind now.  We even spoke once about polyamory, with which she was familiar with, and her instant notion of it was 'it's bull-shit and doesn't work' didn't settle with me either.  Because as you know, I think the same things about monogamy.  More to come on my next post in regards to love and relationships.

A Peaceful Business Model that Works

I've been hearing lately from many of my female friends that they wish they could be doing, or could have done what my ex and I are attempting to do.  Our relationship/business model is unique in that we get along well enough most of the time so that we can live together under the same roof and raise our kids together, and we can do that in an open, peaceful, and honest way with them.  They know that mom and dad aren't "in-love", are going through a divorce, and they're managing that information very well.  The ex and I work together closely as partners in parenting and believe me it isn't an easy task with all girls, and with so many of them.  But it's damn worth it.

Perhaps this model works because there is a general interest in hoping that those around us are happy and get their needs met.  But it's more than that, its about genuinely wishing that your partner (ex-partner) is happy and seeing that she feels the same way about you.  I can literally schedule any outing, or time that I want to go out, socialize, have dates, or go on mini-trips and know that she will take care of the kids while I do the same for her.   Recently this has become quite a scheduling exchange.  We work together to make sure that we parent first but also that we have equal time outside of the house to pursue whatever we want. It isn't always perfect but fuck, I am very happy about our arrangement.  I'm happy that we don't have to be in the closet about it either.  Kids know, parents know, grandparents know, and my friends know.

There are of course limitations to this model.  We don't own a mansion where we could have guests, or lovers, circulating in and out.  We aren't going to have any boyfriend or girlfriend come live with us.  But even if we did have such a home, I wouldn't be living that way as a parent, as a role model to my girls.  Simply put, there isn't any woman that I would introduce my girls to for a very long time.

Strangely enough, two of my kids who are 11 and 9, are asking me about dating.  They are coming to me and telling me to go out and date, to have love.  I find that remarkable because they truly want me to be happy and they know that I will always be there for them.  They know I won't leave my house no matter how fucktacular some woman might be and leave my kids to be an every other weekend type dad.  It just isn't in my DNA.  I have to see them daily, they are the love of my life.

So yes, I can date, I can fuck, I can be seeing multiple people at the same time, and I can have a variety of relationships that make life interesting and I can do it all with the help of the person that I fell in love with so long ago.  There can be peace, and this model can work.  If it were a business model I think more people would be buying.

Have a great weekend everyone

Dimitri - The Stud

MUST LISTEN: The Reason Some Girls Stay Single. 

*Update - A reader (Kimmy) was nice enough to leave a comment that this is all just a joke, a fake promotional tool.  It is however still hilarious to me, and if this is going to be a movie, I will be there opening night.  This kind of stuff cracks me up.  

Hot Bloggers Inspire Something in Me

The other day I'm on email and I see that a good friend, a hot blogstress is on-line, and her Gmail IM status says "to shower, or not to shower". Hmmm. So I'm thinking well, few things are sexier than imagining a hot woman, taking a shower. Ok, well it's at least up there on the list in terms of sexy places for women to be. I admit, there are times when I would watch a woman taking a shower and just get frazzled at the site of that body with the steam and the soap.  In most cases I was always ready to throw my clothes off and jump in with her, but I figured that logistically because I was sitting in a tree with binoculars that it would be hard to gain entry into the bathroom. (j/k for you serious types)

Anyhow I encouraged her to take a shower and the following conversation occured. She then encouraged me to post it and so here it goes:

Me: Shower now and let me be the water . . . cascading from the shower head down your hair, and onto your neck. Let me go ever so slowly down your breasts and just over your nipples. I want to touch every inch of your tummy and then down farther toward your hotness, your warmness, your sex, and ultimately down your legs. Let me slip down the drain undetected by your other lovers . . . now you are clean.

Her: Damn, a shower suddenly sounds like a good idea..... phewwwww - damn, I am already in the ultra horny part of my month... *squeezing legs togehter.

Me: Take a shower for me . . .  dedicate it to me!! I swear I'll give you everything I got. Let the hot water run forever while I kiss you passionately and soak up your sexiness, your vibe. I will kiss you everywhere, and I mean everywhere.  Now . . . use your arms and hold yourself, prop yourself against the shower wall, because I really want to explore you.  Damn its getting hot in this shower . . . While I can't be there with you, my body is willing and wanting . . .


Her: shit damn fuck   Breath faster as is my heart.


Me: If you have a handle, or something to grip while we shower together . . . grab it. . . . hold it tight. and bend over just ever so slightly because I want to taste you, and I love the way you taste in the shower.  You're so clean and yet so wet . . . .  Can you feel how hard I am . . . shit! damn! fuck!!   Yes, I'm that hard, and now I am about to take this clean shower experience to a very dirty level.  Are you ready?   Spread your legs just a little,  let me play with you and let me slowly slide my cock into your beautiful pussy. . . . That feels so good - you feel so good!    Hold on tight, I'm gonna grab your wet hair just a little, but maybe a lot.


Her: I am in the need of a shower - now more then ever!!!!  But with it being this late in the day I was pondering if I should just wait till tomorrow - but I fear now I can't  I will have to shower and touch myself and think of what you just described.


Me: Please touch yourself, please  . . . . I can't stand to think that you wouldn't after this little tryst we just had


Her: Off to shower -thank god my new toy is waterproof.  what you just said will be my inspiration.  An O will form on my lips and then I will giggle.  Off to "hand"le things  ;)


Me: Yummy, that's so hot to think of you like that, or this way . . .


20 minutes later . . . 


Her: It was that hot.  ohhhh and totally worked in no time flat - wowzers!


Me:  Glad to get your firing burning even while you're in the shower


My point in sharing this story is that you never know where it can go when you leave your status on IM like that.  A dirty mind can go in a lot of different directions with just barely enough material to warrant a moment like this.  Thank you hot blogstress and thank you to all the others that provide me with little moments like this throughout the day.  Way more fun then a guy should be allowed.  


Let me tell you who's on my mind: Gypsy Rose, SouthernGirl, Lilly, Kimberly, Emmy, Barefoot Dreamer, Mina, Green Eyed Frenchy, Ella, Petal, Ms. Scarlett, Jae, Ms. Undecided, Sexie Sadie, Sweet Elle, Athena, Grace, Just a Curious Wife, Topaz, LifeChick, April, WGD, Kyra, W Virginia W, Black Pearl, Mina, Eva, Gray, T, and Monique Danger.


Not all could be listed, and I'm sure I left someone out by accident, but those of you that have peaked my interest through emails, IM, and or comments are here. Thank you ladies . . . you are hot as fuck!!

Depeche Mode - Free Love

If you've been hiding from love
If you've been hiding from love
I can understand where you're coming from
I can understand where you're coming from

If you've suffered enough
If you've suffered enough
I can understand what you're thinking of
I can see the pain that you're frightened of

And I'm only here
To bring you free love
Let's make it clear
That this is free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love

I've been running like you
I've been running like you
Now you understand why I'm running scared
Now you understand why I'm running scared

I've been searching for truth
I've been searching for truth
And I haven't been getting anywhere
No I haven't been getting anywhere

And I'm only here
To bring you free love

Do You Trust Me?

This occurred exactly one week ago today


You are to show up this exact address at this precise time.  Park your car, get out, lock it and walk over to my car.  No, we won't be eating anything on this date, and I cannot provide you with more details than that.  You need to wear a skirt though.  That's all I can tell you . . .

She shows up and has followed my plan exactly as I asked.  As she approaches me, she's cautious, yet happy to see me.  I don't exchange the normal pleasantries nor do I talk to her.  I have a blindfold and I place it over her eyes outside of our vehicles before I place her in my car and drive off with her.  As I look over at her for a moment I feel very in charge, more in charge of a situation, of a woman than ever before.  She seems like a possession to me, as if I own her and can demand anything and everything that I want.  This is new for Dewey and he likes feeling empowered this way.

We drive into a garage and I close the garage door.  I help her out and into the living room where she steadies herself against a counter and waits for me.  I return with a bottle of red wine and in the silence of the room remove the cork.  It's dead silent, and the room is mostly dark.  For her though it is completely dark requiring the use of her other senses to navigate this new territory, this situation.  I pour the bottle slowly as it chugs into the wine glass, and I help her guide the glass to her lips.  We share a sip and then I quietly whisper these words:  Do you trust me?  I knew she did, I knew the answer but I needed to hear it from her before I proceeded.

I get behind her and take her hands behind her back.  A comfortable rope is used to tie her hands behind her back.  She's standing now with her back to me wearing a skirt, tall dark boots, a blouse, blindfolded and tied up.  God, what a beautiful scene that was.  I get on my knees and begin to caress her legs, her calves and her thighs.  I slowly carefully navigate my way around her body exploring and feeling every curve every inch.  My hands gliding over every inch, softly teasing, softly squeezing, but mostly adoring this beautiful creature.

I pull her hair back and kiss her behind the ears. I move across her face and begin to pick up the tempo.  I tease her with my mouth, my hot breath leading her to believe that I will kiss her on the mouth but not ever giving it to her.  My hands firmly squeeze her breasts and my momentum is shifting toward a higher speed, getting her hot and bothered.  She lets out soft moans and groans as I slide my hands over her panties.  I stand behind her, and move her panties to the side and play with her.  Stroking her pussy and feeling her clit.  She's already wet and there's plenty of lube to apply a little bit of pressure to her clit.  She gasps for air and lets out a long loud moan.  I go faster and slide my other hand underneath her bra feeling her nipples and squeezing them.

The panties must come off, and I am happy to bring them down to where her boots are, just below her knees.  I bend her over just so slightly so she can stay balanced but giving me just enough space to push my face into her cunt.  Fuck she's so sweet!  I love her taste.  I lick it and use my fingers inside of her, playing with my fuck-toy and enjoying every bit of control over her.  The blouse must now come off.  Done!   Her bra pulled down exposing her full breasts for my pleasure.  I suckle them, lick them and suck her nipples with no restraint.  When she tries to reach for my cock with her tied up hands, I deny her request by moving away, and not giving it to her.  'No.  When I 'm ready you can have it, but not until then.'

We move into a bedroom, me guiding my tied up slave to her next destination and laying her on the bed, on her stomach.  I prop her feet on the floor and continue to toy her pussy with my finger fucking her ferociously and without limits.  I use my other hand to massage her clit and she can barely take it.   She screams and moans and I know that she has just cum.  In nearly 10 seconds, and with one hand I remove my pants, put on a condom, and penetrate her with my hardness.  This is a hard fuck.  Fast and furious.

When I finish we lay down together.  I remove her mask and we begin exchanging our first pleasantries of the date, softly talking, softly kissing, and relishing in the aftermath of what just happened.  We kiss more and more, we touch each other, play with each other some more, and soak up the momentary bliss of two people sexually charged and devouring one another.  Our two hour window was about up and she departed with some very kind words, "thank you for reminding me of how good this can feel."  And yet somehow I wanted to be the one to thank her, to thank her for trusting me.

Unfinished Business

With a nearly a month of not posting you'd think that I'd have some incredible stories to share wouldn't you?  You might even think that perhaps, with the way the world turns, and with its various seasons that maybe, just maybe Dewey got some.  Maybe it turned in his favor?  And you know what?  You'd be correct, but it's more than just about getting some, it's about one thing, and one thing only . . . . Facebook!  Yes people the Facebook Gods have answered and the doors have opened. And behind doors 1,2,3, and 4 have been some amazing women, and some great tales of tail.  I got some!  I got lots, and the getting apparently has no ending.

How did this all happen?  I'm not quite sure what the catalyst was . . . but it probably had to be with my getting a divorce.  Maybe, but maybe not.  Maybe its my charm, my energy, my smile, and quite possibly my writing skills.  No?  Not the writing you say.  Yea, ok, well I tried, but I do think that being vocal about my divorce through personal messaging got some women to take a second look at me, to give me chance.  It's certainly possible.  I am enjoying my fun with all of these women.  They all share something in common in that they all tell me that they adore me. Nice huh?  I like being adored, and being appreciated.  You could say that I'm quite liking this newly defined moment in my life: divorced, single, and having more fun than ever.

Before you think I'm a horrible man-whore (you'd be right of course), these women all know that I am seeing other people.  That's the beauty of my place right now.  I don't have to lie about who and I am what I'm doing, and the no-secrets part of it is a load off my chest.  They know I don't want a relationship.  I'm living my life in my 30's and living what should have been fun in my 20's since I missed that whole decade.  Yea, I have responsibilities now, so it's not like I can be 20 again, and I love those responsibilities, so I can't get too crazy, but I'll take a 1/2 portion of crazy if that's ok?  I'll split the other half of crazy with the woman who's willing to put up with all my "red-flags" and relationship walls that I've built.  You've got to be somewhat crazy not to see my hundreds upon hundreds of red-flags.

So while I have some great stories involving hot New Years Eve sex, office sex, more office sex, and even a really good story involving a blind-fold with a car-drive ultimately ending up with her tied up on a bed and me exploring my dominating side (phew that was long), I want to share the most heart-warming of them all.  Call her Sabrina.

Sabrina was my first.   She's a beautiful fun girl, six feet tall and when she left to do modeling in Italy our relationship ended.  Short-lived but fun.  20 years ago in her bedroom my cock felt the inside of a vagina when she allowed me to go where I had never gone before.  Mind you, I was a good little boy, and didn't thrust my hips back in forth.  I didn't slide in-n-out.  I just felt it.  It's kind of like Clinton smoking marijuana but not inhaling, although he claimed not to like it.  Me, well I fucking loved it, the feel of her warm pussy enveloping my cock that is.  I thought I could still call myself a virgin since I technically didn't cum, nor did I thrust, and being a virgin was the only way to go in my shame based culture I was living in.

Fast forward to 20 years later, and our re-connection came to life because of Facebook.  We talked for weeks about life, her life, her marriage, her kids, and I did the same.  Then in late December she upped the ante.  She sent pictures of herself (the ones not posted on Facebook) and started talking about her total lack of a sex-life.  Me, I don't know a thing about consoling a desperate married woman who wants to get a hard pounding fuck.  What me?  How could I help her?  ehhem . . . yea, I know a thing or two about the dangers of monogamy and equally about the dangers of infidelity.  I said I would participate, but not at the cost of hurting, or possibly hurting her children.  'I'd see you if I knew you couldn't/wouldn't get caught'.  That's what I said.  We talked through all of the possibilities that our relationship could be.  We could have fun, and certainly we both believe that there is unfinished business. I dipped my fruit in her chocolate, but never really tasted it.

So two weeks ago we met.  I was nervous.  Fidgety nervous.   Would there be chemistry 20 years later?  We were kids then.  We met at a winery.  It was noon, and it was a gorgeous day.  With a blanket, a picnic basket and a bottle of cab we found a secluded spot.  The whole damn place was empty so it was easy.  And then for two hours we modestly kissed, and touched each other. It was sweet, and romantic, and we both loved it.  We loved our little two hour escapade.  Soft kisses on her back, on her tummy, and the back of her neck.  Simple kisses and suddenly hard deep passionate kissses.  Light touching would turn into heavy groping and massaging.  She lifted my shirt up and licked my nipples while holding on to my thigh.  She then grabbed my cock over my jeans while kissing me intensely.  Whooaaaa.  It was hot.  We went for a walk to cool down and made it about 4 steps, where I  pinned her body against a gazebo.  Hot!!  Fucking hot and heavy.  She groaned as I slid my hand down her jeans and into her wetness.  I knew she was wet before I put my hand there. I could smell her sex, and I was digging it. I was digging this beautiful landscape of trees, a pond, and vineyards everywhere, but most importantly her.

We had to stop.  She had to get back to her home and I had another adventure set up for that evening.  We decided immediately that we needed to see each other again, that we needed to get down to that un-finished business from so long ago.  That will be about a month from now.  The anticipation is already killing me.

Thank you Facebook Gods, you answered my prayers . . .

Bring it on Bitches!

Yesterday was fantastic.  I had a great sleep and woke up feeling like life was falling into the right places.  I got dressed, wearing a professional suit for work, with my hair and skin looking fabulous.  I had some fucking confidence and felt like a million bucks.  It's been a while since I've felt like that, and its good to be back.  I was sick with step throat this past weekend.  Tonight I will need that confidence and charisma/charm as I head into a lions den of successful single women who I will be mingling with and flirting with at a black-tie Holiday Gala, and I'm ready.  Bring it on bitches!

Most importantly, my kids have heard the news about mom and dad getting a divorce and they are doing very well with that news.  We took an hour this past week to discuss it with them and get feelings out on the table.  She and I talked to each of them together and it was something we had planned out about as well as we possibly could.  It went better than I thought it would.  Sure, there were some tears, some shocks, and  a lot of questions, but the kids know that nothing is changing in our home.  I'm not moving out, and no one else is moving in.  Things are staying the same, but for now, I feel better that they are in the know about mom and dad not being "in love" anymore.  I expect that the kids will be taking time to absorb it all and may have some concerns down the road.

When we finished talking to them we took them out to dinner and had a nice family meal.

Next it will be our parents and families.  That might not go over so smoothly.  We'll see.

I have been terrible at commenting to all of  you on your posts and thanking you for your comments.  For that I am really sorry.  I hope things will back to a normal pace soon.

Down But Not Out

Dear loyal readers and friends,

I am experiencing cerebral fall-out at the moment and have very little to contribute to my own posts and unfortunately have little to nothing to say in terms of commenting on your fine posts.  I guess you could say that I'm in a funk, and that I'm down but not out.  Just taking a breather from this outlet.

I love you all my fine blogstresses and I think about you daily.

I'll be back soon and hopefully to report on the progression my family is making toward more disclosure of our situation.

We're planning on talking to the kids about our pending divorce this week and that is going to be a huge change in their lives, although in reality, nothing is going to change within the home.  'Mom and dad will be getting a divorce, but we are living together in this home to raise you guys. We love you with all our hearts.'  That's going to be the theme for our discussions with them. It will remain to be seen how they take it.  I really can't say until we talk to them.

Then it will be off to my parents house to explain things to them.  I think I'll be a little more relieved when the secret is out and  I know I'll feel better about wife's parents knowing since I'm a lot more connected to them then my own parents.  At least they can stop referring to us as a couple, a normal happy, in-love couple.  The wife and I are friends but more like team members now, co-captains of this team, and we have to work together to raise our kids.  That's what we're focusing on now.

Peace and Love
Dewey
XXX-O